Lilro

I feel like a jerk even writing this post but I am soooo PISSED OFF! I don't know who I'm more mad at, myself or my EXA. I blocked him two weeks ago and im trying to move forward but I feel stuck. I spend my drive back and forth to work each day being angry, my mind racing with all the things I want to say to him ( nothing nice by the way ). I think to myself " OMG, if this jerk*** ever showed up at my front door I'd punch him in the face ". I think back to all the crazy nonsense that I just let go by me without saying too much. I'm not the type to be up someone's butt about anything. I just normally figured at this age people should know better, I shouldn't have to say it. I think back to every time he showed up intoxicated and me like an idiot just thinking, ok, well he likes to drink. NEVER once did I see the big picture and it was staring me in the face for 5 years. I feel like a complete fool!! And I'm pissed that someone would take advantage of my heart like that. Who does that? Why would someone do that??
I want to move forward but I find myself really just wanting to whole up in my house on the weekends. I don't want to run into him anywhere because I know I will not be nice. My mother tells me to cut the crap and find myself someone to date "get on the computer like you kids do these days". Lol. She makes me laugh! I'm 51! I can't even see myself doing that! God knows I won't trust anyone after this. I'm sad, pissed, confused.... Any advise ladies??? Sorry to rant!!

dandylion

Lilro....you are going through the grieving process, right now. Grieving is composed of several emotions and several stages. Anger is one of then....
Expect this to last for several months to a year to feel like you are through the worst of it....

Breaks ups always hurt...no matter what the relationship was like....

dandylion