Alanon
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Lynnwood WA
Posts: 424
Alanon
I finally told my dad that I am going to al-anon. I used to have conversations with my dad about how bad my mom is with her drinking but it got to be too much. My dad and I talked about going to al-anon together but he is too codependent on my mom to do anything about it. I started going for myself. I am so angry at my mom that I needed to go where other people are in the same situation. I like that al-anon doesn't focus on the alcoholic in your life. I have focused so much energy on her that she really doesn't deserve another second of my worry. It helps you realize your own faults and how you can change yourself for the better.
Anyways, I told my dad that I was going to meetings and he said that he was proud of me for starting to work on myself. He also said that if I ever have to leave a family function because of my mom's drinking then it's totally okay. I have wanted to many times and even told my mom I would if she drank. She drinks every time and I haven't been able to bring myself to leave. I shouldn't have to need my dad's permission to do so but it's nice to know that he supports me. He then told me that he told my mom that he would no longer make excuses for her or help her if she gets in trouble or hurts herself. She took that as him not caring about her but I think he is finally taking a stand in protecting himself against her disease.
Being a female and having a mother as an alcoholic is incredibly difficult. Daughters have relationships with their mothers that cannot be replicated with anybody else. My own relationship has been difficult my whole life due to her drinking and I don't feel like I ever had a present mom. I have accepted that she will eventually kill herself with this disease. I just need to come to grips that I will never have the mother-daughter relationship that I've envisioned having all my 32 years of life. It'll be a process but I think I've started that process by going to Al-anon.
Thanks for all of your help!!!
Anyways, I told my dad that I was going to meetings and he said that he was proud of me for starting to work on myself. He also said that if I ever have to leave a family function because of my mom's drinking then it's totally okay. I have wanted to many times and even told my mom I would if she drank. She drinks every time and I haven't been able to bring myself to leave. I shouldn't have to need my dad's permission to do so but it's nice to know that he supports me. He then told me that he told my mom that he would no longer make excuses for her or help her if she gets in trouble or hurts herself. She took that as him not caring about her but I think he is finally taking a stand in protecting himself against her disease.
Being a female and having a mother as an alcoholic is incredibly difficult. Daughters have relationships with their mothers that cannot be replicated with anybody else. My own relationship has been difficult my whole life due to her drinking and I don't feel like I ever had a present mom. I have accepted that she will eventually kill herself with this disease. I just need to come to grips that I will never have the mother-daughter relationship that I've envisioned having all my 32 years of life. It'll be a process but I think I've started that process by going to Al-anon.
Thanks for all of your help!!!
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