Nowsthetime

Hello:

Went to another city by myself and I didn't drink. My test went ok. I have to wait 3 months for the result. When I finished it I really wanted a drink, but I know better. AV has been rampant since I have been fighting a lot at home, but I'm not giving in. This is why I am posting. Last time my AV started like this I gave in. This time I'm following my plan and posting when feelings start. I also went for a 30 minute walk yesterday when I was craving. I'm having good and bad days, but I'm still so happy that I wasn't drinking. I was speaking to my husband about being happy about this and how horrible I was. As usual he starts minimizing it and telling me I wasn't always so bad. I guess I'm that the alcoholic isn't the only one with bad memory... I have my plan and I'm working it.

There's no use to have a plan if I don't follow it so I'm doing it this time.

What always helps is coming here and reading. It's always a reality check.

Stay strong friends! We can do it!!!

doggonecarl

Good of you to post. Stay strong.

Incontrol15

Nice post. Good for you. It is cool how reading posts here can reset my resolve. Kinda keeps it real.

You're doing great! Keep up the good work.

Soberwolf

Good post Nows

Nowsthetime

I'm a little pissed off so this is why I posted. I am feeling happy to be sober but angry at the world right now so I decided to post and be accountable to myself.

Anna

Feeling happy with yourself is a good place to be.

Why are you feeling angry with the world? I think if you can accept that there is very little you can change in life, except your own reaction to things, you might begin to feel less anger. Life just is and not everything in the world is the way we want it to be, but that's okay. Just focus on you and your recovery.

CaseyW

Glad to see you sticking to your plan, Nowsthetime. Don't be afraid to post once a minute if necessary. You don't have to take that first drink today no matter what.

I think our spouses/partners who have stuck with us through the heavy drinking are often scared that changing our lives by not drinking may also change how we feel about them. They may hate the drinking but they also fear the unknown.

Nowsthetime

Yes Anna... I'm just having a moment. I have had lots of stress and anxiety for this test so I feel some sort of relief but now the wait. I also had to hear some rude xenophobic comments today (as usual in my line of work) and it got me fired up. I also had an argument with hubby this morning so that didn't help either. I keep trying to explain to him that it is not my job to make him happy. That he has to be happy from within... We are going to be ok. He is depressed and it blows for me.

Arghhh. I am really trying to control my temper at home and in general and I have been better but I still have a lot of work to do. The kind of good thing is to know that I can't blame alcohol for some of my crazy behavior. I have to be accountable since I am grown now.

I have anger issues...

Always a work in progress...

PurpleKnight

Keep pushing through!!