ckoures

I've dropped by here once in awhile. I guess you could say I toyed with it, much as I toyed with being sober. I've become something that repulses me, and that becomes a trigger because you know... God forbid I feel anything.

I just moved out on a 20-year marriage. I did some bad things. He did some violent things. But I've got to quit drinking. I've got to become something more than a caricature of a mid-life drunk divorcee.

I've read so many of your posts. I learn so much every time I come here and see your strength. So I'm going to lean into the wind that is this - and pray I somehow have the strength to become what I should be. This sure as hell isn't it.

biminiblue

You absolutely have the strength.

Take it a day, an hour or a minute at a time.

There is always someone here so come and post when you get overwhelmed or feel uncomfortable. The longer I am away from the drink the better things get. I am also divorced - that gets better too

ScottFromWI

Welcome back. You can be anything you choose, and choosing to come here shows that you do have the strength to start out anew. What you were in the past wont' ever be forgotten, but it does not dictate the future in any way. You dictate that based on your actions today and moving forward.

toadie54

I like this proclamation..."become what I should be"...welcome back and the day starts with the number 1!

Margaux1969

Hi ckoures: I see you're from Missoula, one of my favorite places on the planet. A beautiful town, but also a very drinky town. And you're surrounded by so much gorgeous nature. I'll be thinking of you and wishing the best for you as you begin your journey! xoxoxo

least

Welcome back! You can make a better life without drinking. I know you can do it.

pleasehelpmeout

You can do it. It's normal to feel things. That's part of being human.

I, too, didn't think it was possible to live sober. Now I'm so happy I've made that choice. If only those of us that have put it behind us could push a fast-forward button and show you how you'd feel weeks into quitting. It's like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

You have the key. Release yourself from the prison. YOU CAN DO IT and we are all here to help you

NestWasEmpty

Like some already said - Take it 1 hour or 1 day at a time work through it , keep busy and "Never" forget the reasons why you want to stop - That's Key for me . You have that right it's like living in HELL 24-7 . Make a plan -than find ways to stick to it . Post post post , read read read . When that want feeling comes , change what your doing .
If I understand correctly you've done it before . Just make it work this time , get stronger -push . SR will help !!

fini

ckoures,
yeah, i repulsed and repelled me, too.

the shame about who i was started to lessen pretty quickly.
later, i learned how to use some tools to deal with what remained and ongoing stuff.
it's amazing how it can be on "this side".

good to see you here again.

Incontrol15

I walked out on a 15yr marriage. All my fault. Alcohol fed the wrong thoughts in my mind. Cheeted on my wife and lost my 2 boys as a result. What followed was a 2+ year binge where I was drunk all day. Alcohol was the first substance i ingested each day and normally the last.

I was sick of myself. Disappointed in myself. Hated myself. Alcohol just made those feelings stronger.

I suggest you seek counseling so you can learn to let go of regret and start loving yourself.

Depression will lift significantly soon after quitting, but looking back at your older posts, there's some things from your past that need resolved.

You can do this.
I've been piecing my life back together and I feel I'm always moving forward. Feels great.

Welcome back!

PurpleKnight

Welcome back!!

ckoures

Thank you so much for your support. I'm so embarrassed and disappointed in me. Have been for a long, long time. Guess it gives me something to work on.