Day 4
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: West Coast - USA
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Day 4
Start of day 4. Man yesterday was a struggle. The morning started off great. Got up at 5am and worked out. Went to work refreshed and my co workers and I knocked it out of the park. Towards the end of the day my AV started to come around. Subtle at first then as I was leaving work it started pouring on. I don't remember what I did or what I thought to overcome....just remember getting home. I was grouchy and irritable when I arrived...and continued to be so throughout the rest of the day/night. I didn't get a lot of sleep.
I noticed last night as I was trying to go to sleep I have a lot of regret. I believe that this is the main source/reason of my drinking problem/abuse. I've always drank. Don't get me wrong. I went through a time from 2003 - 2008 where I barely drank though. No issues at all with AV and feeling like I needed it. I would a few times...count on 1 hand how many times I got drunk. The biggest difference between now and back then...I actually was satisfied with the man in the mirror. I had no regrets and IMO thought I was living a good life...a meaningful life. I think on this a lot lately. I want to see a therapist.
Now its the start of day 4. Got me some caffeine and slowly starting to feel better. Going to go workout and clear my head. May go sit in the sauna afterwards. I know I do not want to go back in the closet where the skeletons are....they have 6 packs of IPA and vodka for my pleasure. Gotta keep them at bay. haha ya know?!
Anyways that's it for now. Everyone have a great day.
I noticed last night as I was trying to go to sleep I have a lot of regret. I believe that this is the main source/reason of my drinking problem/abuse. I've always drank. Don't get me wrong. I went through a time from 2003 - 2008 where I barely drank though. No issues at all with AV and feeling like I needed it. I would a few times...count on 1 hand how many times I got drunk. The biggest difference between now and back then...I actually was satisfied with the man in the mirror. I had no regrets and IMO thought I was living a good life...a meaningful life. I think on this a lot lately. I want to see a therapist.
Now its the start of day 4. Got me some caffeine and slowly starting to feel better. Going to go workout and clear my head. May go sit in the sauna afterwards. I know I do not want to go back in the closet where the skeletons are....they have 6 packs of IPA and vodka for my pleasure. Gotta keep them at bay. haha ya know?!
Anyways that's it for now. Everyone have a great day.
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Nice work on day 4 Delta. The regret and past will always be there, but learning how to acknowledge it ( rather than dwell on it ) is really the crux of the problem. I'd highly recommend seeing a therapist if you want to and have the means. I found that it was very helpful for me to have someone trained in the field help me sort out all the crazy stuff going on in my head, both with my addiction and anxiety/OCD...it's all related.
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Originally Posted by DeltaBravo 
I noticed last night as I was trying to go to sleep I have a lot of regret. I believe that this is the main source/reason of my drinking problem/abuse.
Regret is pretty much a given, I think. You can work through it in time. It's really good that you've pinpointed it might be one of your triggers to drink. So, with that in mind, try not to let it coax you back to the drink. Focus on staying sober.
I think many of us, if not all, have some regrets. In time, we can appreciate the entirety of our stories, and see how it all fits together to make sense of things in the now
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Thanks for the words Scott That means a lot. Love the Les Paul btw.
I wrote this just now and was going to post it on facebook...Thought other wise...because a lot of my friends and family would be like...Man what is up?! Another great thing about posting here. Likeminded people.
"To innovate is to destroy and to duplicate is to create at times. I found myself replicating a thing that created a monster inside of me that devours and needs to be fed constantly. Now I have to innovate from scratch to destroy this very thing I've been feeding. Comfort zones are enabling environments and always will be. Never think for a minute your skeletons cannot creep up on you and snatch your passion or will to succeed".
I wrote this just now and was going to post it on facebook...Thought other wise...because a lot of my friends and family would be like...Man what is up?! Another great thing about posting here. Likeminded people.
"To innovate is to destroy and to duplicate is to create at times. I found myself replicating a thing that created a monster inside of me that devours and needs to be fed constantly. Now I have to innovate from scratch to destroy this very thing I've been feeding. Comfort zones are enabling environments and always will be. Never think for a minute your skeletons cannot creep up on you and snatch your passion or will to succeed".
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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Hi DeltaBravo,
Good job on day 4.
I have noticed that although I do get random cravings there are a lot of them that hit me like clock work. I pretty much expect them at certain times of the day or week (right after work, friday night after work is the worst,payday..........) Find a way to log or keep track of them and you can have a plan for when they are going to hit.
Keep it up.
Good job on day 4.
I have noticed that although I do get random cravings there are a lot of them that hit me like clock work. I pretty much expect them at certain times of the day or week (right after work, friday night after work is the worst,payday..........) Find a way to log or keep track of them and you can have a plan for when they are going to hit.
Keep it up.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
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Hey DeltaBravo,
Keep going. Keep it up. All those feelings do actually seem to go somewhere productive as long as we stay the course and continue to make decisions in our best interests. Right now I am "between" therapists because of a move, but I will tell you that there is nothing like having someone else's undivided attention to talk about anything about life that I wish - get it all out of my head and out there.
Enjoy your workout. You are doing great.
Keep going. Keep it up. All those feelings do actually seem to go somewhere productive as long as we stay the course and continue to make decisions in our best interests. Right now I am "between" therapists because of a move, but I will tell you that there is nothing like having someone else's undivided attention to talk about anything about life that I wish - get it all out of my head and out there.
Enjoy your workout. You are doing great.
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Originally Posted by Soberpotamus
Great job on day 4
Regret is pretty much a given, I think. You can work through it in time. It's really good that you've pinpointed it might be one of your triggers to drink. So, with that in mind, try not to let it coax you back to the drink. Focus on staying sober.
I think many of us, if not all, have some regrets. In time, we can appreciate the entirety of our stories, and see how it all fits together to make sense of things in the now
Regret is pretty much a given, I think. You can work through it in time. It's really good that you've pinpointed it might be one of your triggers to drink. So, with that in mind, try not to let it coax you back to the drink. Focus on staying sober.
I think many of us, if not all, have some regrets. In time, we can appreciate the entirety of our stories, and see how it all fits together to make sense of things in the now
Yea my regret is truly the cause and source the more and more I think about it. Nothing calms that pain of regret better (for me) than getting drunk. Not drinking....Getting drunk.
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I hope you are ready to deal with the pain straight on, DB. Drinking (or drunking) it into submission is a small bandaid. Eventually, even that won't work, as tolerance runs its course. Many here will attest to it.
Better to deal with it sober, and get on with things, right?
I had to deal with grief piled on top of grief when I got sober. It's a festering wound that will kill you when you keep pouring alcohol down your throat.
Better to deal with it sober, and get on with things, right?
I had to deal with grief piled on top of grief when I got sober. It's a festering wound that will kill you when you keep pouring alcohol down your throat.
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Funny how when your day gets better and you feel better...the AV comes in. Hump day and my dark passenger is already trying to get me primed for the weekend. Subtle thoughts here and there. Nothing too crazy yet. I foresee an epic showdown Friday/Saturday.
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Originally Posted by DeltaBravo
Thanks Sober. Yea my regret is truly the cause and source the more and more I think about it. Nothing calms that pain of regret better (for me) than getting drunk. Not drinking....Getting drunk.
Great job on day 4, right behind ya at 3.
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Originally Posted by Jillian2563
And I know what you mean about it being hump day. I too am already thinking about tomorrow night and Friday night wondering how I'll handle it.
One day at a time!
One day at a time!
Yea I know Jillian...One day at a time truly.
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Originally Posted by Jillian2563
Me too. But then it leads to more regret. A vicious cycle. I'm thinking the more sober time that passes, the regret will lessen, or at least I hope so.
Great job on day 4, right behind ya at 3.
Great job on day 4, right behind ya at 3.
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Delta said: I know I do not want to go back in the closet where the skeletons are. Excellent phrase, haven't heard it before quite like that. So when you and the AV are in their epic battle on Friday, maybe try and remember your own words. Day 5 coming up! right?
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