Charioteer

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone on this site for all of the amazing things they have posted. I'm in the process of splitting up with my lovely-yet-troubled AW after "being a man" and enduring years of pain and suffering, and I have found so many posts here to be very helpful, thoughtful, and infinitely relateable. I've even cut-and-pasted excerpts from different posts into a document that I carry around with me, so I can read your words any time I'm feeling weak or sorry for myself or second-guessing the actions I'm currently taking. It can just be so hard to hurt the people you care about.

Thanks so much for lending me your strength.

Charioteer

I'd also like to post something here that a friend of mine sent in an email when I asked him for advice. I found it helpful, and I hope someone going through something similar might as well.

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I'm sorry.
You can't fix her though, it's not up to you.
I tell you this as a man who frequently starts drinking at 11am. I have some authority on the matter.
I don't see this cycle ending.
Or, if it does, it is not going to end well.
Of course you see all the wonderful things that made you fall in love with her at the beginning. The reasons why you chose her and loved her and all that.
But.
How many years has it been?
How much danger has she put you in?
How far in debt have you gone?
It's asking too much for too little in return.
You will find somebody else to give you what she does.
Just do what you can to protect yourself.
Let it go, man.
Listen to me this time.
It will only get worse.
You didn't fail, the situation just didn't work out.
It happens.
You can't change her.
The drugs are not the problem; the drugs are a side-effect of the problem.
Do not sacrifice yourself for nothing.
Don't cut and run, just cut and walk away.
You'll feel better sooner than you realize.