WhySoSirius

Hi everyone,

I've been cruising through the forums at SR for the last 6 months or so. My wife of 36 years and I are long time drinking buddies and we find ourselves in what I have thought for a long time would be an inevitability - it's out of hand. Being caregivers for two of our parents over the last 10 years - both deceased now - gave us a solid reason to amp up the drinking and now we're in a hole. My wife drinks to passing-out/black-outs nearly every night. She gets mean and tries to pick fights on facebook - and if there's nothing there to find then she turns to me to find something to get angry about. We've hit the wall and tomorrow she's going into a 30 day residential treatment. As for me, I have a business that I simply can't walk away from so I am going to do my best to quit - no, I am going to quit - while she's gone. My plan is to visit with my doctor to see if I can get some kind of anxiety mediation to taper through the first few days and then find an AA meeting every night while she's gone. I want to be 30 days clean when she returns.

I've been drinking so long - since my high school days - and I'm 55 years old now, so it's been a part of my life for most of my life. There are moments when I think "I can do this!" and there are moments when I think "How if the HELL am I going to do this!" The longest I've quit for that I can every remember is 5 days. No DT's, no shakes, no morning pick-ups. But when that clock hit's 5pm, there's one thing on my mind... you know the routine. I've been drinking probably 7-12 units a night for probably the last 3 or 4 years. Not quite sure what to expect from my body when I just stop. I have a business trip I leave for early tomorrow morning and I get back late Thursday. I don't think I'm going to try to stop until I get back home, so D-Day is Friday. I have a very important business partner with me on this trip and I am afraid of the anxiety if I try to quit now and have to deal with it on this road trip and if I stop on Friday I'll have at least the weekend to get my bearings. I'll be relying on this site a lot for support, questions, someone to listen to me and to talk to. But I know one thing: THIS HAS TO BE SUCCESSFUL. If it's not, I think my family is doomed. So, here we go... stepping off the plank alone and hoping there is not a school of sharks waiting for me.

CaseyW

Welcome to SR, WhySoSirius, and congratulations on choosing a better way of life. Hope you decide to go ahead and stop today. There's nothing magical about Friday that makes it a better day to start your recovery. You and your wife will be in my thoughts and prayers today...

least

Welcome to the family from a fellow Buckeye. You've made a smart decision to get sober. It's hard at first but is worth the effort it takes.

Ruby2

Welcome to SR, whysosirius. You aren't leaping into a sea of sharks though I understand how you feel. We're all in the water with you.

Quitting is scary but it can be done. It certainly helps if you both quit at the same time. My husband is also an alcoholic, currently struggling to remain sober following a relapse.

If you know that your witching hour is 5 p.m., quitting time, try to be conscious about setting new routines that don't involve drinking. Maybe exercise. Visiting family. Anything to shake the association of 5 with alcohol. It will not be easy st first. It will feel weird and uncomfortable. The longer you go through that time frame without drinking, the easier it will get but you have to take action and not drink for that to work. Be well. Come here for support and to read what others are going through and to learn.

Be well

angd1978

Welcome! Us Buckeyes need to stick together and what Least said!

2ndhandrose

Welcome, WhySoSirius, to the best place on the internet to help you in your quest for a better, sober life!

Like you, I have been drinking since I was a teenager, I am now 56 yrs. I did take a 6 yr break but relapsed in my early 30's and now here I am with 6 months and 20 and 1/2 days sober days and counting!

I found that I needed to make a solid plan to take place when I would normally be drinking, so I would make a dinner plan with my non drinking sister, for instance, and commit to it.

Hanging out at SR is also very encouraging, as you read about other's experiences, you will probably find yourself nodding along and saying "yeah, me, too". It is very helpful to know you aren't alone.

I wish you and your wife the very best outcome, total abstinence and renewed life!

WhySoSirius

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and comments. This is a great bunch here and I look forward to spending many hours getting to know you all. I'll keep you posted on my journey.

Quirky

Whysosirius, we are so glad you are joining us.
We are here to support you on your journey.
Read and post often, doing that has helped me so much. Best of luck to you and your wife.

DitzyDandelion

Welcome aboard. They are lovely here. Have you posted in the Class of July thread. Lots of support there.

WhySoSirius

Class of July. I like that.

WhySoSirius

Any thoughts on medications that my Dr. might give me to help with the anxiety the first few days? Will most Dr.'s prescribe? What do they generally give you? I'm nervous about the nervousness.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum WhySoSirius!!

Soberwolf

Welcome WSS youl find loads of good advice here

Heres a link to class of july 2015 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html

WhySoSirius

Thank you for the comment, thoughts and prayers - more meaningful than you know. It's weird, but I don't have an issue drinking when I'm on the road, meaning, I have no issue having 3-4 glasses of wine with dinner with a client and stopping (more than the recommendation, I know, but it's not two bottles and it's not a hangover the next morning). I am just worried that if I start to get the cold sweats and the anxiousness while I have to be on my game that it might be better to just take it easy while out this week and sever the habit on Friday when I don't have the commitments of doing business for a couple days. I don't know - for some reason that seams more comfortable to me. I am really not trying to push off the date, but I have these business commitments that I can't get out of. Am I misdirected here?

CaseyW

Misdirected? I don't know. That's a personal question that really only you can answer. Alcohol withdrawals can be bad obviously, but I just know my addiction could always find an excuse to find a future date for me to stop drinking. It's always a little bit of a red flag to me when I see someone on here saying they're going to stop any day besides today because I remember those dozens or probably even hundreds of times I did the same thing and always find an excuse to keep postponing the inevitable.

Wishing you the best and I hope to see you contribute here regularly. Recovery is a wonderful way of life...

Dee74

Hi whysosirius

I can see that you're already rationalising that maybe you should put off the starting date...

There's no good time to quit. The best time was yeasterday...or 30 years ago,
The second best time is today.

The longer you put this off the harder it will get.

If you're worried about withdrawal, do see a Dr - get yourself checked out - there's worse things that can happen than you feeling a bit ordinary in a meeting.

D

Marcher13

Welcome Sirius. We have a lot in common -- I'm a few years older than you, have been married 39 years, care for my elderly mother and have my own business. I ditched alcohol a little over two years ago, my life has never been better. My health -- which was reasonably good before -- is very good. Readings for cholesterol, bp etc have all improved.

I suggest you make today your day. There will always be a reason not to start today unless you bite the bullet and, to quote Dee, 'take alcohol off the table'.

One other thing, I can see your reasoning for this coinciding with your wife's treatment but don't allow either recovery to be dependent on the other, your recovery is your own.

Good luck and PM any time if I can help.

tursiops999

Welcome Sirius. I also drank around "happy hour" -- start at ~5 - 7 PM when I got home from work. When I was first getting sober, I found an AA meeting that met at 6 pm every day ... and I went to it every day. That really helped break the association and get me through the difficult hours.

I quit during a week that I had to be out at clients' offices, and although I wasn't at my best (couldn't sleep, and very distracted), I got through it. It was good to just strike while the iron was hot.

WhySoSirius

Valuable input everyone - thank you so much. I saw my doctor yesterday on this and, surprisingly I think, he told me I should drink on this trip, but asked me if I could lower the volume. He said the volume I have been drinking does put me at risk for withdrawal seizures, even if I've never had DT's in the past when putting a pause on the booze. He gave me a script for Atavan to help with any anxiety when I cut it out on Friday but told me if I start to shake at all to go to ER immediately and then made me promise to see him on Monday. I'll keep you posted. And the Mrs. entered rehab this afternoon.

CaseyW

Wishing you the best on your trip, WSS, and your wife on the first day of her journey as well...keep us updated when you can please. Good job on consulting a doctor today, many people are afraid to take that step.