River65

It just bugs me. A frequent poster has admitted she/he is not aiming for sobriety (why even on this board after 2000 posts in Newcomers I don't know- after 2000 posts I don't think they are a newcomer) but gets reply after reply and a newcomer asking for help gets like 7 replies? I lurk here and there but it bugs me.

Dee74

Like I said last time you raised this, I try to answer every thread in Newcomers River, and I'm not alone in trying to do that. This forum is well served

This community is like any other though - if you get involved and post a little, more people get to know you , and you'll get all the replies you want

D

River65

Dee - I can't believe you remembered me! It just bugs me - sorry - I'll go away. I usually just lurk but sometimes stuff just bugs me. Oh well, I'm sober - I got that. Thanks bud - much respect -River.

Verte

Hi River,

To be honest, it bugs me as well and I am aware that every now and again I spend to much time engrossed with a singular subject. (Saint Dee has super powers though and is in a league of his own. Just kidding, he is just a super human being).

I was once that newcomer and had my handful of responses to my initial Thread and then expressed great need for support in subsequent Threads in the best way I knew how. The responses and sense of community meant and means the world to me! TBH I read, re-read, re-re-read usually with tears in my eyes. River, this is a timely reminder. Thanks.

Yesterday I thought about why I engaged in posting where it may not have been needed. What I concluded is that even though I have been here on SR for over a year and it has been a 'home away from home', I am never really sure that what I have to say has an impact. Kind of like, I hit 'return' and it goes into ... the ether??

How are you doing today River? Do you need a cyber hug? Here, take one anyway. Don't be a stranger. Great to hear that you are sober.

Dee74

going away is the last thing I want you to do River - post more!

D

Verte

I will now take this moment to write, "Hang in there, Kaiflyguy. I read that you have had a few rough days and my heart goes out to you. As others have written, it gets better and it is beyond worth the short term struggle. Keep coming here for support. Everyone is here for you."

Sorry I did not write this out to you when your posts indicated that you could use a boost. I can do better.

FreeOwl

The other aspect is that many of us are not just here constantly waiting to post....

I try to post replies to newcomers, but depending on my time and availability I miss a lot....

I'm sure that's the case for a lot of us.

Aellyce

Hi River, I agree with Dee's comment. You will get more attention if you also give your attention to others and engage in a variety of conversations and threads. Even more so if you raise topics that are of interest to many, perhaps a little provocative or controversial, or you are just sharing something that touches many. But best is to get involved yourself -- it'll come back to you with interest.

I've officially been a member for many years but have only been posting actively for ~1.5 year. But since then, I've been in so many varied and rich interactions on SR I could never do justice to it by talking about it. I honestly believe it's primarily because I tend to be very initiative myself and approach people, different conversations, whatever I am interested in. Also probably something to do with expressiveness. SR in a way is similar to real life relationships and social life imo. I also personally prefer to be involved in others' threads and contribute that way than putting myself in the center, I tend to get the best experiences that way.

Jump in and it'll happen

ScottFromWI

I think it's also important to remember that each and every person here ( including greeters, mods and admins ) are volunteering their time to do so. There is generally someone here to reply, but not always. And some forums are much more active than others. If anyone ever sees a post with few replies, giving it a bump never hurts. It's perfectly acceptable to bump your own post too....the more noise you make the more you'll get back :-)

Marcher13

River if I counted the replies to my threads and compared them to some others I'd never post again. Replies aren't about popularity, the big threads are the ones where a lot of us have something in common on or where a lot of people feel a need to post. Sometimes the big threads are a huge learning curve for a lot of people where contributors are drawn in.

FeenixxRising

Why are you going away?

Coldfusion

One thing that inspires me to reply to a post is if I see that the OP is on line. So I am making an exception in this case...

gettingsmarter

River don't go away.

Dharma33

Yes, do come around more often River!!

Fluffer

Why do the train wreck threads gets hundreds of replies and massive traffic? Why did millions of people tune in weekly to see the antics of the Kardashians? I guess they find the drama and bickering to be highly entertaining.

Spacegoat

Why does Hugh Hefner have 100 girlfriends and I have been on 7 dates in the past decade was the analogy I was thinking of.


OP's question has been answered thoroughly though. It's a combination of interaction and meaningful content me thinketh.


BTW: let's be honest, everyone was wondering who the posters' in question are lol. Peace to all is all I can say. River, be well.

FarToGo

HAHA, thanks Fluffer, you made me laugh this morning!

xx

MythOfSisyphus

I hope you won't leave, River. I sometimes feel bad about this very thing. For the most part I try to say hello to every new person that stops by SR, but it's not easy! I work 45 hours a week and go to school so occasionally I find myself really busy- especially on the weekends when I have assignments due (usually at midnite on Sun) and work is slammed. I feel guilty if I don't say anything but I feel bad if I post just a generic "welcome SR", too.

Some of the posters here have been at SR for many years. Very often I will post no matter how busy if someone that I've interacted with for years is going through a tough time. And I'll often stop in to post if a newbie is lost and trying to find their way. But there are thousands of people on SR, between the regulars and the ones that "drive-by post". It's impossible to write something to everyone.

Lastly it depends on the timing of the posts. If I miss a day, or it's really busy before I get home from work, a given post may drop off the 2nd or 3rd page. There are that many posts here, millions of them altogether.

But let me talk just to you for a minute, River. I'm glad you joined SR. Whatever happened to drive to a forum devoted to recovery, it may well have been good luck in disguise. I hope you'll stick around give us a chance. We are listening, even if we don't always post back right away.

It's great to have you with us, River65!

PurpleKnight

Posting on most threads, especially anyone new, is something that I try to do on a daily basis, but as others have mentioned it all depends on what is happening in real life, also as seen with this reply being 8hrs after the original post, time zones are a factor, depending on when a thread is posted will determine what Forum activity there is at that moment.

There is then the variable of thread topic, the threads that run into pages are usually titled something along the lines of "I tried to moderate last night, and you know what, I don't think I'm an alcoholic" or if it is a thread from someone who has been around for a long time and people know it's going to be some full of wisdom, it tends to get more clicks.

So as other people have said, dive in, be a part of the community and your name will become more familiar!!

Ruby2

I sometimes read posts and "thank" the helpful comments that jive with what I would say. Quantity doesn't always mean quality. Maybe I'll consider changing that.

People post where they're comfortable. I've got over 5,000 posts now, I think. If I needed help I'd come to Newcomers instead of the alcoholism forum because I've made more connections on newcomers. I know that the regular people who come around will see me and know who I am and lend their hand and wisdom.

Posting and coming here more, rather than less has been key to me. And I do bump posts even if I don't have any suggestions if the posts have gotten buried in the traffic on page two.

Be well and come back.