Not Bulit For This Mess
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 104
Not Bulit For This Mess
Welp!!!!!,
My ABF just called me a moment ago all frantic (per usual lately) right after am getting off from work mind you had a awful shift. I didn't want to answer the phone, but I did of course smh. He begins to tell me that his landlord is telling him that he needs give notice that he's going to vacate his apartment and he has to be out by the end of the month. Back story is that my ABF has fallen behind on his rent since he got fired from his job 2 months ago. (at least that's the lie he told me) I explain to him that doesn't sound right to me did he honestly say??? I said there's a procedure that they have to follow with the eviction process. So I ask him how much do you actually owe?? States he has been behind since Feb when he actually fell off the wagon. Slience .........
My reaction was a very calm I would be done with you to "JB". He states huh am hurt why????? I took a deep breath an very calmly stated "JB" its business nothing personal your a bad business decision at this point. But he's trying to trick me by telling me to give notice when that's not the correct procedure he states. (Deep Breathe Again) I stated that he is being completely business at this point with you and hoping you will not attempt to cause a fuss bc he tried to work with you for so long. (which I had no clue) He tells me he has to let me go bc he needs to drop his daughter off at his parents. Oh yeah, he said felt really upset and bad about just saying the truth. (he forgot to tell a lie am guessing)
Y'all know what??? I really in my heart of hearts I thought (ok hope that we would be the couple that would prevail) but this mess is just really flipping crazy at this point. This is a poor business decision!!!!! Am done (I really want to believe that yall) this is madness and I aint built for the **** yall. He told me he would call me back after he was done with his daughter. I don't want him to call me back bc I am not picking up the phone today. Am gonna just take this one day at a time bc it takes 21 days to make change into a habit.
My ABF just called me a moment ago all frantic (per usual lately) right after am getting off from work mind you had a awful shift. I didn't want to answer the phone, but I did of course smh. He begins to tell me that his landlord is telling him that he needs give notice that he's going to vacate his apartment and he has to be out by the end of the month. Back story is that my ABF has fallen behind on his rent since he got fired from his job 2 months ago. (at least that's the lie he told me) I explain to him that doesn't sound right to me did he honestly say??? I said there's a procedure that they have to follow with the eviction process. So I ask him how much do you actually owe?? States he has been behind since Feb when he actually fell off the wagon. Slience .........
My reaction was a very calm I would be done with you to "JB". He states huh am hurt why????? I took a deep breath an very calmly stated "JB" its business nothing personal your a bad business decision at this point. But he's trying to trick me by telling me to give notice when that's not the correct procedure he states. (Deep Breathe Again) I stated that he is being completely business at this point with you and hoping you will not attempt to cause a fuss bc he tried to work with you for so long. (which I had no clue) He tells me he has to let me go bc he needs to drop his daughter off at his parents. Oh yeah, he said felt really upset and bad about just saying the truth. (he forgot to tell a lie am guessing)
Y'all know what??? I really in my heart of hearts I thought (ok hope that we would be the couple that would prevail) but this mess is just really flipping crazy at this point. This is a poor business decision!!!!! Am done (I really want to believe that yall) this is madness and I aint built for the **** yall. He told me he would call me back after he was done with his daughter. I don't want him to call me back bc I am not picking up the phone today. Am gonna just take this one day at a time bc it takes 21 days to make change into a habit.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 157
This is so typical , different story same crisis.. Most of us on here have been through this stuff. you didn't Cause it, Cannot cure it, Cannot control it .
Great job taking care of yourself. JB is taking care of himself when he trys to get you involved. No reason for you to not do the same .
Great job taking care of yourself. JB is taking care of himself when he trys to get you involved. No reason for you to not do the same .
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 246
Originally Posted by gcolema2 
I really in my heart of hearts I thought (ok hope that we would be the couple that would prevail) but this mess is just really flipping crazy at this point. This is a poor business decision!!!!! Am done (I really want to believe that yall) this is madness and I aint built for the **** yall. He told me he would call me back after he was done with his daughter. I don't want him to call me back bc I am not picking up the phone today. Am gonna just take this one day at a time bc it takes 21 days to make change into a habit.
I am not built for this mess and craziness either. Take care of yourself.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
I spent my entire childhood growing up with a drunk for a father, married a very nice guy who turned into a drunk (among many other things) and so I feel you-I'm not cut out for it either! Just done!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
Hi all.. don't think any of us are .. built for this at all.. have been listening to the story of Jackie Kennedy.. she was a major drinker.. all of the Ladies in that time frame were.. here plug this in.. and listen to my days as a little girl that lived in this time frame.. https://youtu.be/2QoVJqwWwPA
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
Posts: 123
Hi gcolema2:
The funny thing is, I am different, I am built for the mess, I love the mess but I gotta leave the mess at work-(I am a substance abuse counselor)
I would be back in the mess today if I could, I miss my guy every day, but I can't do that to my family or co-workers.
When we continue to do rounds with the alcoholic (the dance of death) it affects everyone, just like their drinking affects everyone, our relationship with them affects everyone.
I thought (just like they do) I was only hurting myself but carefully and slowly
as I am out of it 60 days NC, my co-workers are telling me they were worried, they were praying, they were getting annoyed with me. I was not managing it, I wanted to, I still want to but I can't do that to them. I have to think of others, I am not here to harm others and when the alcoholic harms me, I turn around and harm someone else. That's the cycle.
I also can't do it to my son and he is watching me. I changed my number to go NC and he was not happy (doesn't like change with certain things)
He asked me the other day..."does he have the new number now because if he does, then that is just stupid?" He is right and he will loose respect for me just like I lost respect for my parents when they kept making the same mistakes.
I don't know how involved your situation is but be easy on yourself, don't try to force solutions, it takes what it takes. Keep posting and reaching out, this site has wonderful miracles on it.
Take care~
The funny thing is, I am different, I am built for the mess, I love the mess but I gotta leave the mess at work-(I am a substance abuse counselor)
I would be back in the mess today if I could, I miss my guy every day, but I can't do that to my family or co-workers.
When we continue to do rounds with the alcoholic (the dance of death) it affects everyone, just like their drinking affects everyone, our relationship with them affects everyone.
I thought (just like they do) I was only hurting myself but carefully and slowly
as I am out of it 60 days NC, my co-workers are telling me they were worried, they were praying, they were getting annoyed with me. I was not managing it, I wanted to, I still want to but I can't do that to them. I have to think of others, I am not here to harm others and when the alcoholic harms me, I turn around and harm someone else. That's the cycle.
I also can't do it to my son and he is watching me. I changed my number to go NC and he was not happy (doesn't like change with certain things)
He asked me the other day..."does he have the new number now because if he does, then that is just stupid?" He is right and he will loose respect for me just like I lost respect for my parents when they kept making the same mistakes.
I don't know how involved your situation is but be easy on yourself, don't try to force solutions, it takes what it takes. Keep posting and reaching out, this site has wonderful miracles on it.
Take care~
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
you hold tight to all of us.. for we have walked that dark path.. and some of us still walking it.. my hubby Ed is trying to let go of the morphine the Doc put him on 7 years ago.. its a mess. I see orbs and colors that float around people his is a shaking milk shake of worry... he is in bed today.. sick.. of himself is illness and his screaming at me.. I miss my hubby of 23 years ago so much.. the twinkle in the eye the laughter.. I have not heard him laugh for so long... he does listen to me every so often.. when he is at his sickest..
kiddo you hold tight to this group of Ladies and Gents for they keep me solid .. every day. or I would be under a table in tears. love and Prayers Ardy...
kiddo you hold tight to this group of Ladies and Gents for they keep me solid .. every day. or I would be under a table in tears. love and Prayers Ardy...
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