sunny34

I have been planning/needed to get out of this relationship with my AH. I finally searched and found a job 3-4 hours away. The interviews were fast and a whirlwind and I was offered the job as long as I can pass the background and reference check.
The bad thing is I have worked with AH the past 23 years and he is my only "boss" reference. I do not know what he will say. I am hoping and praying that this works out and I am able to get this job. I also do not have the best credit so I do stand a chance to not get the job.
I have told him about the job but I told him it was an internship so temporary until I am actually out. He is fine and accepting of an internship but I am not so sure about a permanent job so I am not telling him the whole story just yet.
I am also having a hard time finding a replacement for myself at work so I really hope I can make all of this work out.
I really want to be on my own with my son and I know it will be hard financially for a while but I know I can do this.
I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel if this job pans out. Please say a prayer for me that things work out.
Of course he is currently being nice to me but I am doing my best to not have second thoughts.

Refiner

Good for you! My only suggestion is to let the hiring ppl know that your only reference is your current "boss" and you can't let him know you're looking for another job. Are there any vendors or co-workers you can use as a reference?

firebolt

I second what refiner said. Clients, vendors and coworkers are great professional references!

LexieCat

I'd just tell your employer that because you currently work for your husband you are going to provide references from other people familiar with your work. You don't have to explain marital difficulties, etc. (nor should you), but they will probably see it as your simply trying to provide credible references. A family member's reference is never going to be as credible as that of a non-family member.

I'd suggest ordering your own credit report, too, and seeing what is on there. If there are negatives you can explain then it might not be a deal-killer. Basically they want to hire someone responsible, and not someone who is in so much financial trouble that they might be dishonest.

sunny34

Thank you for your responses. When I was close to getting the job offer at my last interview they wanted to know what the plan is and why I was moving since I am the one moving away from a thriving business. They were concerned I would not stay. I explained without many details that I am married to an alcoholic and I am trying to change my life. They said good for you. I wanted to be up front but not give many details. I did tell them that my AH is my reference and that I told him it was a temporary job. I do have other business references including one I directly supervised so I am hoping that is sufficient. If not I just hope he gives me an ok reference as he seems ok with things.
As far as my credit I pulled my report. The thing I am worried about is one recent 60 day late payment on a credit card and several 30 day late payments in the past few years. So not major but since I will be paying company bills it could be a deal breaker and a 60 day late is not good.
I just hope I can make it through this. It is a good job in a great location and I can put my son in a school that has a great reputation. I hope I can find a decent cheap apartment since I will be on my own for the first time in 24 years.
I really appreciate everyone's support. Thank You!

ownedbypugs

I 'm not sure about everywhere, but, I know in Maryland, all an employer can answer is 1) did this person work for you and 2) what are the dates of employment. From what I understand they are not allowed to talk about why you are leaving, if you miss time, etc.

Good luck! I hope everything works out with the job. Keep us posted.

Gettngstronger1

Fingers crossed for you, sunny34. You should be very proud of yourself for making such huge strides to better your life. Definitely keep us updated! We'll all be pulling for you.