During the hard times
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
During the hard times
Its been probably over a week since my last post when I went to my first AA meeting. It was great I met some really down to earth people and I can say I enjoyed listening to everyone that shared. On a side note I always wonder since I made the choice to stop drinking what happens when the bad times come up and your just stressed the hell out? I didn't come up with an answer but I just ask myself often. Does drinking make anything better? The answer I used to give myself was F it.
I work 2 jobs and support my family while my wife finishes school. Some times I feel like just giving up. Work is stressful and feel like I can never get a break. I have 2 kids 5 and 11 and I want the best for them. My wife just got accepted to nursing school but that is a huge financial burden as we have to pay a lot of it out of pocket. I wake up full of anxiety and go to sleep the same way. Terrible cycle! I'm on meds for depression as well as anxiety. They do help but it's not enough. I don't want to numb myself to the world being on prescribed medications but it's still better than prescribing myself alcohol. Today was one of those days where I felt like saying F it. Chewed out by supervisors over nonsense and just plain tired of working 2 jobs. In the end there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel right? I'm just venting because I don't get why sometimes you feel like you're giving your all just to be given the middle finger in life in some aspects. That is one that has always baffled me.
Oh well
I work 2 jobs and support my family while my wife finishes school. Some times I feel like just giving up. Work is stressful and feel like I can never get a break. I have 2 kids 5 and 11 and I want the best for them. My wife just got accepted to nursing school but that is a huge financial burden as we have to pay a lot of it out of pocket. I wake up full of anxiety and go to sleep the same way. Terrible cycle! I'm on meds for depression as well as anxiety. They do help but it's not enough. I don't want to numb myself to the world being on prescribed medications but it's still better than prescribing myself alcohol. Today was one of those days where I felt like saying F it. Chewed out by supervisors over nonsense and just plain tired of working 2 jobs. In the end there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel right? I'm just venting because I don't get why sometimes you feel like you're giving your all just to be given the middle finger in life in some aspects. That is one that has always baffled me.
Oh well
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
For me i turned "why me" into "why not me" .
There is nothing special or exceptional about me , How could i reasonably expect my life not to involve hardship and pain …
If i met a starving man with no income to look after his family from africa or india and showed him my life he wouldn't believe that i could be miserable with my lot in life ..
I have control over my expectations , i don't have much control over where in the great heap of our society i find myself , i might get lucky but i've accepted was born with nothing much and i'll probably have to work hard to maintain myself at the level i'm at now and not go backwards materially .
It might sound gloomy but it's my life and it's good on a day by day basis as long as i focus on helping other drunks , hugging the cat , doing my job of work well despite the cynics i meet . It all might seem insignificant but it is worthwhile to me .
Hang in there , with sobriety we can take pleasure in the smaller things in life i've found , when i drank and for at least 6 months after quitting alcohol was still making me depressed ..
Keep on , you know what alcohol will give you , you don't know what long term sobriety will give you .
m
There is nothing special or exceptional about me , How could i reasonably expect my life not to involve hardship and pain …
If i met a starving man with no income to look after his family from africa or india and showed him my life he wouldn't believe that i could be miserable with my lot in life ..
I have control over my expectations , i don't have much control over where in the great heap of our society i find myself , i might get lucky but i've accepted was born with nothing much and i'll probably have to work hard to maintain myself at the level i'm at now and not go backwards materially .
It might sound gloomy but it's my life and it's good on a day by day basis as long as i focus on helping other drunks , hugging the cat , doing my job of work well despite the cynics i meet . It all might seem insignificant but it is worthwhile to me .
Hang in there , with sobriety we can take pleasure in the smaller things in life i've found , when i drank and for at least 6 months after quitting alcohol was still making me depressed ..
Keep on , you know what alcohol will give you , you don't know what long term sobriety will give you .
m
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Allentown,pa
Posts: 396
Once I got some sober time in I realize alcohol was the cause of almost all my problems and worries.
Now a days when things come up I deal with them, it's not the end of the world. But when I was drinking everything bothered me.
Quitting was the best thing I ever did. I think you will feel the same if you stick with it
Now a days when things come up I deal with them, it's not the end of the world. But when I was drinking everything bothered me.
Quitting was the best thing I ever did. I think you will feel the same if you stick with it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
For sure! I'm just sticking with it and trying to do what I can. I want to stick with it because I know all the grief drinking has brought me. Ha...I still have a DUI case pending that occurred in January. I'm just trying to maintain.
I appreciate the motivation though. I love being on this site!
I appreciate the motivation though. I love being on this site!
Originally Posted by MyTime86 
Once I got some sober time in I realize alcohol was the cause of almost all my problems and worries.
Now a days when things come up I deal with them, it's not the end of the world. But when I was drinking everything bothered me.
Quitting was the best thing I ever did. I think you will feel the same if you stick with it
Now a days when things come up I deal with them, it's not the end of the world. But when I was drinking everything bothered me.
Quitting was the best thing I ever did. I think you will feel the same if you stick with it
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
Try doing a Web Search for Recovery Speaker Messages.
A good place to start is 'Joe & Charlie Big Book Study' and 'Melbourne Steps Weekend - Recordings'.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE
I have 2 Kids also, and a wife that I have a loving relationship with ... I almost destroyed it all by continued drinking, way past the point when it got like you describe ... I am so glad to read your post ... please keep with your commitment to Sobriety and especially to your family.
A good place to start is 'Joe & Charlie Big Book Study' and 'Melbourne Steps Weekend - Recordings'.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE
I have 2 Kids also, and a wife that I have a loving relationship with ... I almost destroyed it all by continued drinking, way past the point when it got like you describe ... I am so glad to read your post ... please keep with your commitment to Sobriety and especially to your family.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Hang in there, getright15. Someone here posted a quote that I can't remember verbatim but it's essentially this- People need three things, something to do, something to hope for and something to love. As corny as it sounds this thought helps and comforts me. I'm finishing up school and will face the "real world" again at age 46. Before long I'll have a student loan payment and hopefully will be returning to decent paying Chef work. There will be a lot of hard work in my near future, and maybe it will extend through the rest of my life. But I'm blessed to be able to face it, and do so sober.
I don't know what advice to give beyond just trying to appreciate the good things. Your kids, your wife, etc. We can often bear a lot of adversity if we know it's for a good cause, and if we know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Something to do, love and hope for.
When you feel overwhelmed the reflex is to reach for booze. That's because we're alcoholics, not because booze is a good medication. There are better ways to relieve stress.
I don't know what advice to give beyond just trying to appreciate the good things. Your kids, your wife, etc. We can often bear a lot of adversity if we know it's for a good cause, and if we know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Something to do, love and hope for.
When you feel overwhelmed the reflex is to reach for booze. That's because we're alcoholics, not because booze is a good medication. There are better ways to relieve stress.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Yes, things are rough out there, GR.
The American Dream started crumbling for my generation with first the banking crisis, then the stock market going south, wiping out finances earmarked for retirement, followed by the mortgage crisis and wrapped up nicely with chronic, rising unemployment.
NYC has five boroughs, and many people need to work multiple jobs to support their families. Some have to decide between paying for public transportation to get to work and putting food on the table, or paying for health insurance or out-of-pocket healthcare. And most families cannot even think about sending their children to college, many of whom drop out of high school in order to work to augment their parents' income.
Manhattan is now more and more the playground of the wealthy, the privileged, or the financially cautious, though one could argue that being financially cautious and living in Manhattan is a contradiction in terms.
Everything in the city is very expensive, and those who are among what's left of what's euphemistically referred to as the "middle class" cannot afford to purchase a house or move away to a more affordable neighborhood in the suburbs. They're largely stuck where they are. Living paycheck to paycheck is a huge struggle for many people, and the only thing visible at the end of the tunnel is darkness. For many people who aren't wealthy, access to many of the resources simply needed to exist are often blocked, and this alone is heartbreaking.
For the most part, a college education is no longer financially viable for the majority. Mounting debt from student loans straps new graduates before they even start working, and then they face an unforgiving job market. Brooklyn Law School has decided to repay 15 percent of students' tuition costs after they can't find a job nine months after graduating.
Brooklyn Law School Will Pay Back Some Tuition To Graduates Who Can't Find Jobs: Gothamist
For anyone interested, I read an article recently about American students getting a free college education in Germany that's equivalent to the better universities in the States. I think other European countries are doing the same thing. At least in Germany, the practice is encouraged. If it were me, I'd jump at the opportunity.
Yes, it isn't at all easy or even guaranteed that parents can support a family, no less purchase a house. I deal with both the people at the top of this hierarchy and those nearer to the bottom just about every day. And I can't help but feel for them. I managed to mostly escape a great deal of the financial devastation that many people have had to deal with, but I also suffered through it as well. My relapse just after what was to become the best years of my earning potential didn't help.
When I graduated from college, I pretty much could have worked in virtually any field I chose, and I was not at all alone in this. All you needed to do was apply for a job, and if you had any skills or talent at all, you'd be hired. Easily switching jobs, even careers, for a better salary and/or lifestyle was the norm. Nowadays, you can't even get a job stocking shelves in a supermarket. It's an extremely heavy burden for those who simply need to work, and now our welfare system is taxed to the limit.
So yeah, it's good that you came here for support. I hope things get better for you.
The American Dream started crumbling for my generation with first the banking crisis, then the stock market going south, wiping out finances earmarked for retirement, followed by the mortgage crisis and wrapped up nicely with chronic, rising unemployment.
NYC has five boroughs, and many people need to work multiple jobs to support their families. Some have to decide between paying for public transportation to get to work and putting food on the table, or paying for health insurance or out-of-pocket healthcare. And most families cannot even think about sending their children to college, many of whom drop out of high school in order to work to augment their parents' income.
Manhattan is now more and more the playground of the wealthy, the privileged, or the financially cautious, though one could argue that being financially cautious and living in Manhattan is a contradiction in terms.
Everything in the city is very expensive, and those who are among what's left of what's euphemistically referred to as the "middle class" cannot afford to purchase a house or move away to a more affordable neighborhood in the suburbs. They're largely stuck where they are. Living paycheck to paycheck is a huge struggle for many people, and the only thing visible at the end of the tunnel is darkness. For many people who aren't wealthy, access to many of the resources simply needed to exist are often blocked, and this alone is heartbreaking.
For the most part, a college education is no longer financially viable for the majority. Mounting debt from student loans straps new graduates before they even start working, and then they face an unforgiving job market. Brooklyn Law School has decided to repay 15 percent of students' tuition costs after they can't find a job nine months after graduating.
Brooklyn Law School Will Pay Back Some Tuition To Graduates Who Can't Find Jobs: Gothamist
For anyone interested, I read an article recently about American students getting a free college education in Germany that's equivalent to the better universities in the States. I think other European countries are doing the same thing. At least in Germany, the practice is encouraged. If it were me, I'd jump at the opportunity.
Yes, it isn't at all easy or even guaranteed that parents can support a family, no less purchase a house. I deal with both the people at the top of this hierarchy and those nearer to the bottom just about every day. And I can't help but feel for them. I managed to mostly escape a great deal of the financial devastation that many people have had to deal with, but I also suffered through it as well. My relapse just after what was to become the best years of my earning potential didn't help.
When I graduated from college, I pretty much could have worked in virtually any field I chose, and I was not at all alone in this. All you needed to do was apply for a job, and if you had any skills or talent at all, you'd be hired. Easily switching jobs, even careers, for a better salary and/or lifestyle was the norm. Nowadays, you can't even get a job stocking shelves in a supermarket. It's an extremely heavy burden for those who simply need to work, and now our welfare system is taxed to the limit.
So yeah, it's good that you came here for support. I hope things get better for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Well, reading endgame's post was a shocker. I understand the worry and anxiety. Mine comes from other things but it has the same effect of wanting to say EFF it. I power through that, as painful as it is sometimes.
A friend suggested a gratitude list and it does help. I walked into my grocery store this morning to buy lunchables for my 7 and 9 year old as a treat and was struck by the mounds of plenty I take for granted. Piles of fresh fruit and vegetables that many people can't even fathom.
It's pouring rain with lightning and thunder booming and I'm warm and dry with a roof over my head.
The situation you're in is temporary. Your wife is working for her degree. Things will ease. And I've been learning that instead of giving my all to everything, I am far less stressed and more satisfied by saying no to things. Weed through your life and find areas you don't have to give your all to, all of the time. Alcohol will make none of it better.
Hang in there
A friend suggested a gratitude list and it does help. I walked into my grocery store this morning to buy lunchables for my 7 and 9 year old as a treat and was struck by the mounds of plenty I take for granted. Piles of fresh fruit and vegetables that many people can't even fathom.
It's pouring rain with lightning and thunder booming and I'm warm and dry with a roof over my head.
The situation you're in is temporary. Your wife is working for her degree. Things will ease. And I've been learning that instead of giving my all to everything, I am far less stressed and more satisfied by saying no to things. Weed through your life and find areas you don't have to give your all to, all of the time. Alcohol will make none of it better.
Hang in there
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Great post, EndGameNYC. You hit on a lot of issues that I talk about all the time IRL. I'll be graduating in a month or two and loans will be a fact of life for me. Luckily where I live my experience, education and skill set should allow me to be pretty successful. Or so I hope!
But bad economy or no, drinking doesn't help anything. I was spending about $650 per month of wine! That's not quite a mortgage but it's a ton of money. Looking back I don't know how I managed to get by comfortably with that much going to booze. Probably because I was such a drunk I didn't do anything much but drink.
But bad economy or no, drinking doesn't help anything. I was spending about $650 per month of wine! That's not quite a mortgage but it's a ton of money. Looking back I don't know how I managed to get by comfortably with that much going to booze. Probably because I was such a drunk I didn't do anything much but drink.
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