How many times did you relapse before recovery?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 33
How many times did you relapse before recovery?
Hey there,
To those of you who have been sober for a while please feel free to share how long you've been sober for and how many times you relapsed.
I've had several relapses but I'm going to keep persevering.
Nick.
To those of you who have been sober for a while please feel free to share how long you've been sober for and how many times you relapsed.
I've had several relapses but I'm going to keep persevering.
Nick.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Not sure what constitutes "a while". I've been sober 17 months. Before that I was sober for a year, and then had a 3 week relapse. I consider it a relapse because I had really quit for a solid amount of time, and very deliberately picked back up.
Before my first sobriety date a little after I joined this forum, I'd told myself and other people that I was quitting. But I never made a serious effort -- any time, as soon as it got hard, I caved and drank. I don't consider that a relapse -- it's just not a real quit.
Good luck to you!
Before my first sobriety date a little after I joined this forum, I'd told myself and other people that I was quitting. But I never made a serious effort -- any time, as soon as it got hard, I caved and drank. I don't consider that a relapse -- it's just not a real quit.
Good luck to you!
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Hi NickOz21, Welcome to SR!!
I was in recovery for 6 years and then relapsed for 22 years
and here I am back in the sober saddle and working on recovery for the past 6 1/2 months.
Never going back again!
Stick around SR and you will find great support and resources to help you formulate a plan to stay quit.
I was in recovery for 6 years and then relapsed for 22 years
and here I am back in the sober saddle and working on recovery for the past 6 1/2 months.Never going back again!
Stick around SR and you will find great support and resources to help you formulate a plan to stay quit.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I tried every week or so 'to stay sober' for 15 years maybe?
I realise now though what I actually really wanted was to find a way to drink responsibly.
Once I accepted the need for change, and accepted my relationship with alcohol was irredeemably toxic, I've stayed sober since 2007.
D
I realise now though what I actually really wanted was to find a way to drink responsibly.
Once I accepted the need for change, and accepted my relationship with alcohol was irredeemably toxic, I've stayed sober since 2007.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,123
I got into my recovery a month after turning 55. On the 12th of this month, I have 2 years 8 months. Personally I don't believe you have to expect a relapse. My Sponsor just turned 29 years sober, she has never "gone out".
So many folks I know in double digits still are taking daily action in their recovery. Meetings, Committments, sponsee's, volunteering, working the steps with their Sponsee. Being of service to the group and individual. Basically staying connected in these ways & more....gives you a major advantage in sticking to your recovery! Be willing and open minded. And, of course, have a connection with your Higher Power!
Try staying busy and active each day of your own recovery. As the saying goes " Surround yourself with the winners"!!
You can do this!
Bobbi
So many folks I know in double digits still are taking daily action in their recovery. Meetings, Committments, sponsee's, volunteering, working the steps with their Sponsee. Being of service to the group and individual. Basically staying connected in these ways & more....gives you a major advantage in sticking to your recovery! Be willing and open minded. And, of course, have a connection with your Higher Power!
Try staying busy and active each day of your own recovery. As the saying goes " Surround yourself with the winners"!!
You can do this!
Bobbi
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Well, this is a tough one to answer
I tried many times to "moderate" and to quit. When I was 27, I managed to stay sober for a year. Here and there, I'd stop for a few days and a few weeks at a time. Six months a couple of times.
Then I joined SR in 2011. I drank again, and didn't quit for good until April of 2013 (age 35).
The final result of all the years of drinking (about 15 years total) was that I had come to a place where I fully accepted I could no longer handle any amount of drinking. Not one drop. Ever.
I tried many times to "moderate" and to quit. When I was 27, I managed to stay sober for a year. Here and there, I'd stop for a few days and a few weeks at a time. Six months a couple of times.
Then I joined SR in 2011. I drank again, and didn't quit for good until April of 2013 (age 35).
The final result of all the years of drinking (about 15 years total) was that I had come to a place where I fully accepted I could no longer handle any amount of drinking. Not one drop. Ever.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
I agree, tough to really answer. For years I had a vague awareness that I didn't drink like everyone else I knew. My drinking had...an edge to it, for lack of a better word. A few times over the years I'd vow to ratchet it back a notch, and a couple times I took "breaks" from drinking. But eventually I kind of gave in and just tried to mitigate the damage instead. For example, I quit going out to bars so I wouldn't have to drive.
But back in October 2012 I finally got so sick of it that I no longer wanted to live if living meant being a drunk. Somewhere around the 3rd or 4th I took my last drink. Since then I have not had a drop, so no relapses at all. Maybe it's because I just got burned out on it to the point where I gave up on booze. Obviously if I was foolish enough to drink again I'd back where I was. But I have no desire to pick up a wine glass again now.
But back in October 2012 I finally got so sick of it that I no longer wanted to live if living meant being a drunk. Somewhere around the 3rd or 4th I took my last drink. Since then I have not had a drop, so no relapses at all. Maybe it's because I just got burned out on it to the point where I gave up on booze. Obviously if I was foolish enough to drink again I'd back where I was. But I have no desire to pick up a wine glass again now.
AA member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 872
I tried many times to stay sober,it was staying stopped that was my problem.
I once stayed sober 3 years,on my own.
Eventually I went to AA,since that day over 12 years ago,I have not needed to drink.I still attend meetings,not going is not an option,left to my own devices I know I would drink again.
Relapse need not be a part of recovery.
I once stayed sober 3 years,on my own.
Eventually I went to AA,since that day over 12 years ago,I have not needed to drink.I still attend meetings,not going is not an option,left to my own devices I know I would drink again.
Relapse need not be a part of recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Family had to do an intervention on me
back in Aug. 1990 placing me into the
hands of those familiar with knowledge
of addiction and recovery.
I spent 28 days in a rehab facility with
a 6 week outpatiant aftercare program
attached to fulfill my rehab experience.
Fast forward to today, some 24 yrs of
many one days at a time sober, AA meetings,
service work, passing on my own ESH -
experiences, strengths and hopes of what
my life was before, during and after alcohol
with many struggling with addiction like I
did, i'm forever grateful and blessed to be
here sober, healthy, happy and honest with
you guys.
The PROMISES as written in the Big Book
of AA will and do come true is we work for
them. And they have for me slowly but surely.
back in Aug. 1990 placing me into the
hands of those familiar with knowledge
of addiction and recovery.
I spent 28 days in a rehab facility with
a 6 week outpatiant aftercare program
attached to fulfill my rehab experience.
Fast forward to today, some 24 yrs of
many one days at a time sober, AA meetings,
service work, passing on my own ESH -
experiences, strengths and hopes of what
my life was before, during and after alcohol
with many struggling with addiction like I
did, i'm forever grateful and blessed to be
here sober, healthy, happy and honest with
you guys.
The PROMISES as written in the Big Book
of AA will and do come true is we work for
them. And they have for me slowly but surely.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I went to my first AA meeting in 1990. I started living sober in 2014. I never kept track, but I would guess I 'quit' about 500 times during those 24 years. Maybe more.
I thought about quitting every day. When I started thinking about living sober things got better in a hurry.
I thought about quitting every day. When I started thinking about living sober things got better in a hurry.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
10 years sober.
Never had a relapse before. In order to have one of them relapses I would have had to have some time without a drink and had some changes happening in my life. I never had that. I don't even count the 30 or so days I didn't drink a long time ago as time sober. No changes. I was just dry. So I didn't relapse. I just started drinking again.
Never had a relapse before. In order to have one of them relapses I would have had to have some time without a drink and had some changes happening in my life. I never had that. I don't even count the 30 or so days I didn't drink a long time ago as time sober. No changes. I was just dry. So I didn't relapse. I just started drinking again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
I had many failed attempts at moderation in its many and varied forms over the course of five years.
I made a firm decision to become entirely alcohol free about one year ago and have not drank since.
We're all on individual journeys and there's no universal way to succeede. I admire your perserverence!
I made a firm decision to become entirely alcohol free about one year ago and have not drank since.
We're all on individual journeys and there's no universal way to succeede. I admire your perserverence!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Yep, tough one to answer. I've been sober 12 months now.
I spent 21 years drinking heavily. The first 10 I knew I needed to quit but didn't really try. The next 9 I thought about trying, woke up every morning and swore I wouldn't drink that night... each night I convinced myself I deserved a drink. The last two years I gave up on quitting, drank around the clock and didn't care about quitting.
Then I found SR and gave it a good try to quit. Two or three relapses and then I went 9 months sober. Relapsed for one year then quit again.
Now I'm one year sober.
You can do this. It's a tough battle, but there are plenty of success stories here to help motivate you.
Stay strong Nick.
I spent 21 years drinking heavily. The first 10 I knew I needed to quit but didn't really try. The next 9 I thought about trying, woke up every morning and swore I wouldn't drink that night... each night I convinced myself I deserved a drink. The last two years I gave up on quitting, drank around the clock and didn't care about quitting.
Then I found SR and gave it a good try to quit. Two or three relapses and then I went 9 months sober. Relapsed for one year then quit again.
Now I'm one year sober.
You can do this. It's a tough battle, but there are plenty of success stories here to help motivate you.
Stay strong Nick.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
I started occasional binge drinking when I was 21 and had trouble with limits almost right away. I had some long sober spells, the last good one was for 13 years. I relapsed after gastric bypass surgery when I had a single glass of wine. That led to about a year of daily drinking, maxing out at a regular-sized bottle of wine per day. Since then, I've been on SR.
I'm one of those people who kept on relapsing over and over. I took Dee's advice to heart when he asked "What else do you need to add?" It took me two years of regularly adding more tools (and becoming increasingly frustrated and discouraged!). Finally I went back to my favorite pdoc who gently maneuvered me into an intensive outpatient addiction program. Between SR, AA, the outpatient program and a whole lot of support I finally managed to stay sober almost a year ago. I had one brief setback a few months ago when my PTSD seriously kicked in but quickly got right back to routine. I now have a med to take if that happens. If the outpatient program didn't do the trick, I was fully prepared to do inpatient rehab.
I now finally feel quite solid and look forward to continuing to live a clean, sober and joyous life.
I'm one of those people who kept on relapsing over and over. I took Dee's advice to heart when he asked "What else do you need to add?" It took me two years of regularly adding more tools (and becoming increasingly frustrated and discouraged!). Finally I went back to my favorite pdoc who gently maneuvered me into an intensive outpatient addiction program. Between SR, AA, the outpatient program and a whole lot of support I finally managed to stay sober almost a year ago. I had one brief setback a few months ago when my PTSD seriously kicked in but quickly got right back to routine. I now have a med to take if that happens. If the outpatient program didn't do the trick, I was fully prepared to do inpatient rehab.
I now finally feel quite solid and look forward to continuing to live a clean, sober and joyous life.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
I decided on march 16, 2014. Since then I had a couple of drinks once in early May.... Relapse doesn't have to be part of it, at all. Don't be complacent. My relapse taught me to ALWAYS be vigilant and work on recovery everyday. I had 13 months and I let my guard down and my AV "got me". I didn't do what was needed and I fell. All me, my choice.
I was able to get back on the wagon but that's the thing you never know, what the next time brings and it is a dangerous game to play.
Don't get me wrong. For YEARS I said I needed to quit, but once I made the desicion and became proactive (did the work) it was on.
Engage as much as you can. Live recovery, read, research and participate. It's a great life and you can make it what you want it to be.
I was able to get back on the wagon but that's the thing you never know, what the next time brings and it is a dangerous game to play.
Don't get me wrong. For YEARS I said I needed to quit, but once I made the desicion and became proactive (did the work) it was on.
Engage as much as you can. Live recovery, read, research and participate. It's a great life and you can make it what you want it to be.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
In the midst of horrible hangovers, I am sure I said "I will never drink again" maybe a thousand times.
But I never seriously tried to quiet until I joined SR, two years ago. I chose the name "firstymer", because it was my first serious attempt at quitting. I haven't had a drink since the day I joined here.
My point is this: If you have committed to stay sober, you may fail. And if you do, you figure out why you failed and adjust your plan. But, just because this may be your first serious attempt to quit, it doesn't mean you are destined to fail the first few times you try. I am living proof, sober proof, of that fact. And if I can do it, trust me, anyone can do it.
But I never seriously tried to quiet until I joined SR, two years ago. I chose the name "firstymer", because it was my first serious attempt at quitting. I haven't had a drink since the day I joined here.
My point is this: If you have committed to stay sober, you may fail. And if you do, you figure out why you failed and adjust your plan. But, just because this may be your first serious attempt to quit, it doesn't mean you are destined to fail the first few times you try. I am living proof, sober proof, of that fact. And if I can do it, trust me, anyone can do it.
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