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It can happen overnight (four years for me) and here I am in the hospital



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It can happen overnight (four years for me) and here I am in the hospital

Old 07-13-2015, 01:39 PM
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It can happen overnight (four years for me) and here I am in the hospital

Here's my story and I hope it will be a lesson for people on the fence or those deciding to go back.

Been drinking in moderation for about 8. The round the clock stuff started about four years ago. I always thought I was young and it couldn't happen to me or that I had some years left in me.

These last few months have been the worst of it. Additional stresses and stuff made me pick up vodka more and more. I was going through nearly a fifth a day. I was proud when I didn't finish it, but I'd polish it off in the morning before work and get another at 7 am. I did the pint bs, thinking I'd limit myself. I'd be back at the store later that day. Who was a fooling?

Any case, I went on a bigger bender over the fourth and basically stayed with another of my kind where we drank all day. At the end I was throwing up everything, even water. Sleeping all the time. Didn't put a morsel down my throat ever. Couldn't drive home. Spouse had to come get me and the other person's spouse helped him with the double cars. Spouse is not supportive and very sick and tired of this which is weird because he had NO IDEA the extent of this.

back at the homestead, I was very thirsty and up all night drinking ice water. Threw it up almost seconds later, sometimes in the bed. this outraged him more. He finally told me he's taking me to the hospital or calling 9-11. I refused. Kept refusing until he told me my signs looked really bad and that I might go into a coma. This scared me and we went. I had to be wheeled in the hospital. After some initial tests, they determined all of my electryotes were way off. Potassium and magnesium all messed up. Heart beat and blood pressure sky high. The admitted me to ICU. I was shocked. I've never been in a hospital.

They were able to semi-stablize me after a few days in ICU but I've been on a potassium drip the entire time. It wasn't until today that I can sort of walk without my IV pole.

This is hands down the worst experience of my life. It doesn't help that my husband is more angry than sympathetic. He keeps bringing stuff up, telling me how irresponsible I am, how I wrecked the family (I did, but I apologized and I'm getting into out patient therapy asap).

Levels are pretty stable now. Heartbeat is around 90 (better than over 100), blood sugar is usually low, but after sitting around, I guess it's going to go up, and blood pressure is finally normal again.

Mentally, I'm feeling very guilty and I can't believe I did this to my body. My little trick in my mind was that I would go see my family doc after I was sober for a few months so I didn't get bad news about the liver. the dr. said my something was a 39. Does anyone know what this number is? He said I don't have cirhossis (sp?) but would have developed it within a few months. Magnesium is 1.5.

so, I guess I ended up with a much fuller checkup than I ever imagined. I hope this is the turning point I need. I'm really scared right now. My stomach is in knots and I wanted to share that it finally happened. So please take care.
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Old 07-13-2015, 01:44 PM
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I'm sorry you had such a stay experience, it sounds like you are getting help now though. Will you be doing a daily outpatient when you are released in the hospital.
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Old 07-13-2015, 01:45 PM
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Wow. Thanks for sharing that. Hopefully a few more days rest will find you feeling better.
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Old 07-13-2015, 01:51 PM
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i had a friend who had a simliar situation had to use a walker for months he finally recovered and had been sober for a good while. Last i heard he was back at it again however *sigh*.

Hopefully you wont have to have a repeat performance sounds very scary and reminds me just how bad it can get.

keeping coming around people here can help
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Old 07-13-2015, 01:54 PM
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Eek. I hope you feel better soon. Thank you for sharing.
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Old 07-13-2015, 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted by notgonnastoptry View Post
I hope this is the turning point I need. I'm really scared right now. My stomach is in knots and I wanted to share that it finally happened. So please take care.
Don't hope - make it happen. You are the only one that has the power to make the correct choices, and it sounds like getting into the outpatient program was a good one. Listen to everything they have to say with zero preconceive notions and if they suggest you do something, do it. You'll find something that works for you..but you have to give things a fair chance.

Being scared is expected....even if you set aside the last few days the prospect of not drinking is very scary to an alcoholic. But really the fear is just your addiction talking....sober life is better than the alternative for an addict. And you have the power within you to get there...you just need to acknowledge it, accept help and move forward.
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Old 07-13-2015, 01:59 PM
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Thank you for sharing youl find tons of support here
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Old 07-13-2015, 02:54 PM
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Not giving medical advice as you have already been to the doctor, but he is probably referring to liver enzyme function tests AST (range should be 10-41 IU/L ) or ALT (range should be 5-46 IU/L). Mine are 18 and 12 accordingly.

Sorry that you going through this and your husband isn't more supportive. I was lucky as my husband saw it as a disease that I had inherited. It definitely wasn't a choice to become an alcoholic. I've been sober for a few years and life is so much better without putting that toxic crap in my system. Good luck on your sober journey.
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Old 07-13-2015, 03:02 PM
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I'm glad it wasn't worse for you and glad you're feeling a little better.

I agree with Scott notgonnastoptry - make it happen. Make this a turning point.
Work like you've never worked before to change your life.

It really is possible.

I understand you're not feeling great right now but give some thought to how you might stay sober - what kind of support is available outside your home?
what lifestyle changes do you need to make?
if you're self medicating for stress what other options are there to deal with that?

thats the beginning of a recovery plan right there

D
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Old 07-13-2015, 03:06 PM
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Wow what a roller coaster ! You are really lucky by the sounds! Glad you have found SR x
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Old 07-13-2015, 03:10 PM
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I've just been discharged but it's taking a while to get the paperwork through the system, so I'm still connected to the IV which has been my fifth appendage for the last sixth day. I asked them to take it off so I can begin packing, but they said it's the last thing that comes off.

I am taking (stealing?) the yellow blanket that I was given to indicate I was at high risk of falling to remind me of this horrible time in my life. I also took a picture of my IV machine or whatever it is called and made it the profile of my phone. I never want these days far from my mind. I start intense behavior therapy on Wednesday. Six hours a day. Besides the substance abuse, I have other personal issues going on which led to these patterns.

I guess I don't understand why 39 is a bad number? It's not great, but it seems within normal range?

Doctor who discharged said all vitals are fine now.

I'm also crying because I'm going home because the last time I was there was my lowest point ever. I'm not actually in a hurry to get there.
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Old 07-13-2015, 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Soberween View Post
Not giving medical advice as you have already been to the doctor, but he is probably referring to liver enzyme function tests AST (range should be 10-41 IU/L ) or ALT (range should be 5-46 IU/L). Mine are 18 and 12 accordingly.

Sorry that you going through this and your husband isn't more supportive. I was lucky as my husband saw it as a disease that I had inherited. It definitely wasn't a choice to become an alcoholic. I've been sober for a few years and life is so much better without putting that toxic crap in my system. Good luck on your sober journey.
Thanks! Needless to say, I've been poked, prodded, and all else by the hour. I've seen so many doctors. I imagined going to my primary and trying to hide the worst of it, and now it's all out on the table.
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Old 07-13-2015, 03:35 PM
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Notgonna - Thank you for telling your story. I know it was painful, but others will benefit from your honesty.

I was drinking round the clock when I found SR. I never dreamed I'd let that happen. It completely ruled my world by the time I found the courage to stop. I'm so glad you're here and on your way to being free. It's caused you nothing but misery - you have no more use for it.
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Old 07-13-2015, 03:40 PM
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You dodged the bullet this time. Unfortunately alcoholism only gets worse but when we stop things slowly but surely get better
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Old 07-13-2015, 04:54 PM
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Why can't you go to inpatient treatment?

When someone drinks themselves to the brink of end-stage alcoholism, as both you and I did, I HIGHLY suggest making recovery your ONLY priority and go to inpatient.

IOP is all well and good, but 30 solid days in a safe environment with on-site medical supervision will allow your body to heal.

I did a LOT of damage to my body from my stint in the ICU. I'm still paying for it after almost 2 and a half years of sobriety. I understand the IVs. I understand the constant monitoring of vitamin/mineral levels. My liver panels were off the chart.

If I had drank again in early sobriety, even just a few drinks, I would be dead. My body just wouldn't have been able to handle it. Please think about inpatient. We're talking about your life here.
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Old 07-13-2015, 07:27 PM
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I really admire your courage and honesty. What you described sounds pretty damn scary. We are lucky that the body has an amazing ability to heal.
I have not drank in forty some days now and I'd like to share one of the reasons why. I inured myself awhile back and was drunk when it happened. The injuries were serious and I was in the hospital for 10 days. Being in the hospital and the condition I was in because of being drunk (although I can't blame it 100% on alcohol), I told myself that I had lost my drinking privileges. It really was that simple. I looked around at all the equipment, the team of people caring for me blah blah blah. And just simply told myself "you're done drinking" because this is ridiculous. Anyways I just wanted to share that, maybe you can find something useful in it. I wish you the very best.
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Old 07-13-2015, 07:36 PM
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I got a bunch of paperwork to go home with. When I looked over my initial diagnoses (alcohol keto-something) metabolic asid-something, acute kidney damage, I realize I was at death's door. The paper work is not near, so I'm sorry to be lazy about the names.

That threw me into a panic and now I feel so scared and anxious again. I want to run back to the hospital where I felt safe. This is the end of day five. I should be feeling better, right?

I hope I wake up tomorrow in a better mood. I feel anxious and really shaky, but two doctors said I was totally cleared of withdrawal. Please help me not panic all over again. I'm eating, drinking water, and keeping food down. My energy level just plummeted again though.
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Old 07-13-2015, 07:47 PM
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Thanks for sharing. I was in my mid-30s when I went through a life-changing experience just like yours. I was sitting around exchanging x-mas presents with my family when I went into withdrawal seizures, I'd also never been in a hospital before and after a couple weeks I went back out and tried to start drinking again. Bad idea, because as soon as that door (seizures, hospitals, etc) opens up, it doesn't get better until you quit drinking. Against my instincts, I went to inpatient rehab and am now 3 years sober and kicking butt.

Don't rule out inpatient. There's never a good time for it. Everyone there has jobs, families, the whole 9 yards. Same goes for those in hospital and detox. We all try and talk ourselves out of truly getting sober because we can't imagine life without booze.

You were at death's door. At this point, what have you got to lose by giving treatment a fair shake? If you keep drinking, I am certain these symptoms will reoccur in time. Get help. It's available. It works. It can save your life. Welcome aboard and just remember that many of us here were also very shaken and afraid and have found success after kicking the drink. Good luck!
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Old 07-13-2015, 08:01 PM
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I'm sincerely grateful for your honesty. And grateful you survived. Wishing you all the best.
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Old 07-14-2015, 01:57 AM
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I'm glad you're doing better now, notgonnastoptry. I know you're shocked and feeling low but let this be the catalyst for the changes that will give you back your life.
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