Sister3

I felt so great the other day. I said NO when my heroin addict sister had yet another amazing story on why she needed money...then....she texts me all day the next day. All the dirty, disgusting details on how she had to get money because I didn't help her. Pan handling, prostitution...I had a panic attack. One step forward with saying No, then jumping yards back with feeling so much guilt and responsibility for what she had to do...I wish I could feel empowered by saying no and leave it alone, I always wonder what the consequences will be...😓

totfit

Just remember, whatever the consequences, they are not consequences of you saying no to her requests for money. You are in no way doing anything to her. She is doing this to herself. If you give her money, there are consequences. She will use. Hopefully, this will never happen, but how would you feel if you gave her money and she OD'd? I think you should just tell her not to throw her "crap" in your face. It is hers to own and not yours. I am sure that this is heartbreaking, but the best thing you can do for her is not to enable.

Sister3

Thank you. Everything you said plays in my mind every day, its what I tell myself...just very hard to actually do it...

CodeJob

Block her dear sister. She is guilt tripping you.

Morning Glory

When you first start setting boundaries it feels horrible.
Don't worry about how it feels right now. You are not going to be comfortable when saying no. It takes practice.

She didn't have to do that. She is choosing to live this lifestyle.
If she jumped right into panhandling and prostitution it is because she is already comfortable earning money in this way.

OCD, PTSD, and Depression will cause us to overthink everything and catastrophize. Try to think of the good you did for her by saying no. She wasn't able to quickly run out and buy heroin thanks to your boundaries. If she buys it without your help that's her responsibility and the way she gets the money is her choice.

Live2Run25

If you give her money, you are just enabling her. Please don't do it. She wants you to feel bad when you hear the horrible things she has to do and knows you will give in. Truthfully, the only consequences she is suffering are her own. She chooses to live this way. Do not get sucked in.

Drop the rope.

Leftover

She wants you to feel bad, guilty, responsible for her behavior. If you are responsible for it, then in her addicted mind, she is not. That is the ultimate manipulation. The consequences are the result of her addiction not of your detachment. Walk away. Stay strong. Push on. Give her to your God.

Your heart will always love. ������

odaat13

wow. sorry about that. you telling her NO is the best thing you could have done. you have no reason to give her money to use. her trying to blame you for the dirty crap she did is just a way to cover up the immense guilt and sorrow she feels for her own low points.

the user in my life does a similar thing.....i call it word vomit. just admitting all the wrongs they did which only makes you feel bad. really manipulative. it is not your fault. seems like she uses your love and support to support her own addiction. she knows you love her and will use that to her addictive advantage again and again. here for you...