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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3
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Hello everyone,
I've been around this forum quite a while, and firstly I'd like to thank everyone for all the stories you guys share, they are very inspiring.
So I'm an alcoholic and drug addict. My father was an alcoholic and he died of liver cirrhosis when I was around 13. The way I drink now really hurts my mother's feelings, because she does not want me to end up like my father. I do not know exactly where it all started, I guess it's like for everyone, having a few beers, hanging out with your friends, what's the worst that could happen. I had my first beer when I was 15 and starter drinking heavily at 18. Eventually I ended up using amphetamine. I was using drugs for about 3 years and thank god, somehow, I managed to stop, yet the drinking is still a huge problem.
Now I am 23 and it seems like alcohol is all around me. Whenever I go somehwere I end up having a few beers, which leads to a ton more and here I am in my bed, waking up in the morning. I do not drink alone, drinking usually happens when I am out. I knonw I have toxic friends, who put pressure on me, yet somehow it is really hard to brake ties with them, since we share a lot of history, feelings. Once I did managed to stop drinking for 6 months! That was one of the biggest achievements in my life, but all that time I was spending in uni and home. I do not know how to socialize without alcohol, it all looks scary and makes me anxious. One time, I drank so much that I passed out on the street, my head was spinning, the cars were passing by and some kids who walked by picked me up and walked me home, it was really embarrassing.
It is really strange how the demons are playing tricks with my mind. I always find an excuse to drink, whether it is a finished essay, or a long day at work. And I absolutely cannot control my drinking – I instantly get hooked after just having a one beer and then there I am, wasted and miserable. I am still trying though. Whenever I fall I get up and keep going. Alcohol restricts me from doing so many things in this world and I believe that one day I will overcome this problem and do many things and fulfill my dreams.
–John
I've been around this forum quite a while, and firstly I'd like to thank everyone for all the stories you guys share, they are very inspiring.
So I'm an alcoholic and drug addict. My father was an alcoholic and he died of liver cirrhosis when I was around 13. The way I drink now really hurts my mother's feelings, because she does not want me to end up like my father. I do not know exactly where it all started, I guess it's like for everyone, having a few beers, hanging out with your friends, what's the worst that could happen. I had my first beer when I was 15 and starter drinking heavily at 18. Eventually I ended up using amphetamine. I was using drugs for about 3 years and thank god, somehow, I managed to stop, yet the drinking is still a huge problem.
Now I am 23 and it seems like alcohol is all around me. Whenever I go somehwere I end up having a few beers, which leads to a ton more and here I am in my bed, waking up in the morning. I do not drink alone, drinking usually happens when I am out. I knonw I have toxic friends, who put pressure on me, yet somehow it is really hard to brake ties with them, since we share a lot of history, feelings. Once I did managed to stop drinking for 6 months! That was one of the biggest achievements in my life, but all that time I was spending in uni and home. I do not know how to socialize without alcohol, it all looks scary and makes me anxious. One time, I drank so much that I passed out on the street, my head was spinning, the cars were passing by and some kids who walked by picked me up and walked me home, it was really embarrassing.
It is really strange how the demons are playing tricks with my mind. I always find an excuse to drink, whether it is a finished essay, or a long day at work. And I absolutely cannot control my drinking – I instantly get hooked after just having a one beer and then there I am, wasted and miserable. I am still trying though. Whenever I fall I get up and keep going. Alcohol restricts me from doing so many things in this world and I believe that one day I will overcome this problem and do many things and fulfill my dreams.
–John
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome to SR, John! I'm glad you found us. The good news is that you're wise to move to address the drinking now instead of later. It gets worse the longer you wait. The good news is that there's hope! Life can be a lot better sober.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 202
Welcome back John. You already have taken a big step to narrate the intensity of the problem. You are still at a very young age of 23. It is really good that you have acknowledged the problem at such early age. Now is the time to do something about it.
The later , the action, the tougher and tougher it will be to quit . You also mentioned about your father.. Certain damages to vital organs , like liver, are irreversible , once they reach, certain stage . Hence, your mother is worried. She knows and you know it.
We fully agree, it is very difficult to abandon the current friend circle and social life. But if it is messing up, with our lives, we must take the hard step.
From my experience, such hard steps, once taken, get easier day by day. Try to remember , how did you manage for 6 months, without drinking . You will find sober friends and fun activities without alcohol. It is just matter of time. Please make a plan to quit. See a doctor to ensure safe detox. Keep posting on SR. Join any support group.
If you do that, you would not repent like I did. I wasted , almost 2 golden decades of precious life , to alcohol.
All the best.
The later , the action, the tougher and tougher it will be to quit . You also mentioned about your father.. Certain damages to vital organs , like liver, are irreversible , once they reach, certain stage . Hence, your mother is worried. She knows and you know it.
We fully agree, it is very difficult to abandon the current friend circle and social life. But if it is messing up, with our lives, we must take the hard step.
From my experience, such hard steps, once taken, get easier day by day. Try to remember , how did you manage for 6 months, without drinking . You will find sober friends and fun activities without alcohol. It is just matter of time. Please make a plan to quit. See a doctor to ensure safe detox. Keep posting on SR. Join any support group.
If you do that, you would not repent like I did. I wasted , almost 2 golden decades of precious life , to alcohol.
All the best.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi John, it probably felt good to get that off your chest and out in the open. As others have said, your age is a huge advantage, I think many would agree that you are ahead of the curve. It sounds like you have had an extended period of sobriety before so that's great, you know the benefits first hand. By your own admission you have said that once you have a beer, its over. That is a bad sign. The only thing I have to offer is that you mentioned one day fulfilling your dreams, I would encourage you to tackle this problem before you reach the point where you no longer have dreams. Wishing you the best.
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