mnh1982

Sooo, I'm filing for default. (Meaning, I'm requesting that the judge in the divorce case just rule in my favor & grant whatever I've requested in the original custody, child support & property distribution paperwork).

ExAH is literally NOWHERE to be found. Every week or so I'll get a random text message from an unrecognizable number about how he "loves us both & misses us so so much & will call soon".

He doesn't & hasn't called & he doesn't & hasn't showed up at the house in over a month now. No one has any idea where he is or who he's with. I got a letter from DOL in the mail a few days ago-his unemployment benefits are on the verge of running dry. I have a sneaking suspicion that right around the time he stops receiving money, is when he'll turn back up begging to be forgiven.

At this point, I can genuinely say that I don't wish him any ill. I do hope that someday, he gets his life together & can be a positive, clean, healthy part of our son's life. But I am not in love with him. I have no desire to be around him, myself. I cannot fathom going backwards by allowing him back into MY life in any way.

So, here's to positively thinking that the judge will grant the default instead of making me wait. Here's to standing my ground.

And also...
I've met someone.
And he's pretty great.
That's another story, though, I think...

How ar eyou all doing?

Vale

See mnh, there are a billion fish in the sea,
good ones, great ones, bad ones..........
and ones that truly suck.

We've seen you hurt, seen you struggle--
----now we see you breaking through the
overcast into the sunshine on top.

It is good to see!!
Best of luck my friend!

CarmenLove

Hi Mnh,

I was just wondering about you yesterday.

So glad to hear you are feeling positive and moving forwards Sister!

anxiouswife2

life really does have a way of working out. karma, i believe, is real.
the past 2 years of my life have literally been a round trip to hell.... however; i've met someone too & the most patient human being on earth i think. i was in no place to focus on a relationship for several months & he waited me out.
our hardest decisions often end up being a piviotal moment to turn it all around.

here's to new beginnings

Jorgenss

It is amazing how "sorry" and available they become when their unemployment runs out. Unfortunately, for me it took several attempts of his "needing" me for me to understand that it wasn't my job to fix that.

Sending you hugs and peace during this time.

ella213

You did it!! And honestly the fact that he disappeared is kind of a blessing, complete abandonment speaks loud and clear.

Fate2012

Hi MNH,

Congratulations! I'm going through the default stage with the AEH. I will keep my fingers crossed and say prayers that everything will go your way so you can moved forward.

Question for you, AnxiousWife 2 and others....

How did you meet the new person in your life? I tried Tinder but that was a joke.

anxiouswife2

I ran into an old high school friend & it just happened. we're from the same small town so he was kind of aware of my background, and what i was going through. started as a rekindled friendship and these days we are dating, but taking it very slowly as i find myself still a little gun shy. online dating scares me but im sure thats my own trust issues and dateline nbc obsession talking! haha

mnh1982

The same as Anxious. Ironically, exAH & I went to high school together too...It's just a small town & a lot of us have either stuck around, or left to go to college/work etc & returned.
The new relationship is with someone I knew of in high school but wasn't ever friends nor particularly acquainted with. He too is a single parent, has dealt with divorce & very much understands the quirks of small town living.
We're taking it incredibly slowly & gently with each other.
I'm not a huge fan of online dating myself but I wouldn't say rule it out, especially if you're just easing back into how to talk with people.It's worked for others I know, just was never my thing...