Skywalker's Ninety Days
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Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 608
Skywalker's Ninety Days
ME at 90 days
Only the devil can create a disease in which the patients forget they have a disease in the first place
God Grant Me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the Courage to Change the Things I Can & the Wisdom to know the difference- At 90 days sober I am 100% fulfilling this prayer after a year of understanding it but not really practicing it. I have realized how this prayer is perfectly designed for us addicts because of the way our disease causes us to forget our rock bottom, our pain, and the consequences of using no matter how bad it got. The prayer should be said daily to remind us that we can’t change everything but there are things we can change. Our brains do NOT want us to internalize that. Our addict thinking also makes us get stuck on why other people aren’t changing. Oh man, after 23 years I still can’t understand why some people in my life can’t admit they have a problem. But then I remind myself of the serenity prayer and how the only person an addict can change is themselves first. Maybe by living through my new habits and behavior I can influence others MAYBE but that’s all I can do.
Forgetfulness is something that happened before when I attempted to get sober and today at 90 days I promise to remember that 90 days is awesome but it is still the beginning of my wonderful journey. What am I feeling today? All sorts of emotions but they are all mostly positive (anxiety always finds its way). 90 days ago I had no job, nothing to be excited for, and immense guilt. Three months later: I am working, getting ready for interviews for a higher paying job, creating fun goals for the next 3 months, and gaining many new friendships, celebrating my religious observance Ramadan/Eid, and creating tons of sober memories with people.
The last time I relapsed was when I had 4 months sober so this time I know that I must be alert. The last thing I want to do is become complacent on where I am in life. When I get bored by it all that’s when I know I should worry. What I am beginning to finally internalize is that getting sober is synonymous with getting grateful. Even when I have the worst day ever I have to force myself to thank God for something that I am grateful for. I think that is the whole point of rock bottom-we lose it all so when we get the simplest of things we appreciate it as if we never had it before. What got me to this point? Posting daily on SR, keeping busy and making goals, having deadlines for things, staying away from old friends, Ramadan has definitely helped ( the unity of fasting with others), getting excited for things I could not enjoy when I was sober like going to the movies and TV shows. Also, cutting off a LONG enabling co-dependent relationship sure as hell helped
Goals for month 4: If you have been following my posts from the beginning you can recall that I did not want to move back to my parent’s house due to familial problems/triggers/enabling and various other reasons. Therefore, I am currently preparing for a new job that can enable me to move out/relocate. PLEASE keep me in your prayers as I have been preparing for this new position since April. I hope that in my next post (4 months sober) I can give you all some good news. Also, as I continue on my road to recovery from month #3-month#4: I must remember that at least once a day I must do something positive for my disease, I must continue my current job until I find the better position because being idle and bored will be a huge NO NO esp. for me as I head into the time frame where I last relapsed.
What I am looking forward to: Summer movies, Going to the beach, having a much more clear vision as to how I will spending the Fall/Winter months as that is a high risk time for me due to my winter depression ( I may relocate to the West Coast)
I love this forum and everything is has allowed me to have in this third month of recovery. When I look back on these three months all I can say is: HARD WORK and PATIENCE- ALWAYS PAYS OFF somehow….This may sound cliché but I am starting to appreciate my life and I am excited to be alive and not running to drugs to escape my reality…I hope my post helps someone out there get excited for reaching 90 days. I don’t sugarcoat things and from the bottom of my heart I can tell you things really do change in these 90 days-it won’t be easy but it is SO worth it
“Never get comfortable, complacent, a mundane outlook on life because that’s when the thought to use will strike: have goals, make fun plans, smile, and surround yourself with people that don’t drink or do drugs”
:
:
:
Only the devil can create a disease in which the patients forget they have a disease in the first place
God Grant Me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the Courage to Change the Things I Can & the Wisdom to know the difference- At 90 days sober I am 100% fulfilling this prayer after a year of understanding it but not really practicing it. I have realized how this prayer is perfectly designed for us addicts because of the way our disease causes us to forget our rock bottom, our pain, and the consequences of using no matter how bad it got. The prayer should be said daily to remind us that we can’t change everything but there are things we can change. Our brains do NOT want us to internalize that. Our addict thinking also makes us get stuck on why other people aren’t changing. Oh man, after 23 years I still can’t understand why some people in my life can’t admit they have a problem. But then I remind myself of the serenity prayer and how the only person an addict can change is themselves first. Maybe by living through my new habits and behavior I can influence others MAYBE but that’s all I can do.
Forgetfulness is something that happened before when I attempted to get sober and today at 90 days I promise to remember that 90 days is awesome but it is still the beginning of my wonderful journey. What am I feeling today? All sorts of emotions but they are all mostly positive (anxiety always finds its way). 90 days ago I had no job, nothing to be excited for, and immense guilt. Three months later: I am working, getting ready for interviews for a higher paying job, creating fun goals for the next 3 months, and gaining many new friendships, celebrating my religious observance Ramadan/Eid, and creating tons of sober memories with people.
The last time I relapsed was when I had 4 months sober so this time I know that I must be alert. The last thing I want to do is become complacent on where I am in life. When I get bored by it all that’s when I know I should worry. What I am beginning to finally internalize is that getting sober is synonymous with getting grateful. Even when I have the worst day ever I have to force myself to thank God for something that I am grateful for. I think that is the whole point of rock bottom-we lose it all so when we get the simplest of things we appreciate it as if we never had it before. What got me to this point? Posting daily on SR, keeping busy and making goals, having deadlines for things, staying away from old friends, Ramadan has definitely helped ( the unity of fasting with others), getting excited for things I could not enjoy when I was sober like going to the movies and TV shows. Also, cutting off a LONG enabling co-dependent relationship sure as hell helped
Goals for month 4: If you have been following my posts from the beginning you can recall that I did not want to move back to my parent’s house due to familial problems/triggers/enabling and various other reasons. Therefore, I am currently preparing for a new job that can enable me to move out/relocate. PLEASE keep me in your prayers as I have been preparing for this new position since April. I hope that in my next post (4 months sober) I can give you all some good news. Also, as I continue on my road to recovery from month #3-month#4: I must remember that at least once a day I must do something positive for my disease, I must continue my current job until I find the better position because being idle and bored will be a huge NO NO esp. for me as I head into the time frame where I last relapsed.
What I am looking forward to: Summer movies, Going to the beach, having a much more clear vision as to how I will spending the Fall/Winter months as that is a high risk time for me due to my winter depression ( I may relocate to the West Coast)
I love this forum and everything is has allowed me to have in this third month of recovery. When I look back on these three months all I can say is: HARD WORK and PATIENCE- ALWAYS PAYS OFF somehow….This may sound cliché but I am starting to appreciate my life and I am excited to be alive and not running to drugs to escape my reality…I hope my post helps someone out there get excited for reaching 90 days. I don’t sugarcoat things and from the bottom of my heart I can tell you things really do change in these 90 days-it won’t be easy but it is SO worth it
“Never get comfortable, complacent, a mundane outlook on life because that’s when the thought to use will strike: have goals, make fun plans, smile, and surround yourself with people that don’t drink or do drugs”
::: 
Um Dia de Cada Vez
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Brasil
Posts: 613
Congratulations Skywalker, I crossed the 90 day mark 2 weeks ago, and it sure does change my perspective on things, sobriety long-term seems like a real possibility now, lets keep pushing through!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 608
Originally Posted by Ohme 
I am loving this site tonight and your post was so inspiring to read. Good work, and good luck!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 608
Originally Posted by BlissWithin
Congratulations Skywalker, I crossed the 90 day mark 2 weeks ago, and it sure does change my perspective on things, sobriety long-term seems like a real possibility now, lets keep pushing through!
I already see us congratulating each other on our 6 months heh 
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Well done sky!!!
90 daze is truly miracle considering where we come from - terrific!
I was told if I drank after 90 days it wasn't a relapse but a choice. I don't ever want to make that choice.
Keep up the good work!
90 daze is truly miracle considering where we come from - terrific!
I was told if I drank after 90 days it wasn't a relapse but a choice. I don't ever want to make that choice.
Keep up the good work!
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