Hereandnow2

Hi guys! I need some help. I am very codependent with my mother as she is with me and my sisters. Yesterday we got into a huge argument in which she said some really awful things. As a child she would Teeter on the lines of the threatening suicide and at times she actually did. One time she said she was going to kill her self and it would be my fault. Now, when she gets upset or angry with me I feel like a little child who is terrified. How do I detach from her and still have a relationship? I'm reading Cody codependent no more and that seems to be helping I'm also going to see a therapist. Yesterday was one of the worst days of my sobriety. I was so upset and hysterical I just wanted to shut everything off and drink. Instead I ate a giant bowl of ice cream and took two hour nap also watch some stupid reality TV. I cried most of the day. Unfortunately my eight-year-old heard some of the conversation and was very upset I then had to explain to him why I was saying I'm scared. The problem is I really love my mom and most of the time we have a fairly positive relationship however she seems to be getting worse as she's getting older and it's becoming more difficult.

ScottFromWI

Sounds like you are doing a lot of the right things by seeing your therapist and doing some good self help reading. It's always an option to simply take some time off from the relationship too. Spend time with your children and enjoy your own company. It's not going to hurt you or your mother to simply take a break.

saoutchik

Also Hereandnow threatening to commit suicide and say that it would be your fault - that is an unacceptable thing to say even if you were not in recovery

As Scott says I would break contact with for a while to reduce the "drama" you are enduring