My XAH and my new relationship...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 235
My XAH and my new relationship...
Hi All
I haven't been on in a while but am feeling quite strange about my XAH and his behaviour recently.
We are divorced and have been separated for three years. I have moved on. I met a lovely man in February and we are in a relationship.
Since my XAH and my new man's X found out about us, both of them have behaved horribly. My XAH (who I have to be in contact with due to the kids) has always sent me the most awful, nasty texts and emails. He is still drunk most of the time and has made no effort whatsoever to get sober. XAH has suddenly decided that he loves me and keeps sending me stupid texts. I bought a new phone so I can block him when he starts up, but it is really annoying and sometimes distressing. Last week he called me more than 30 times before he gave up (he was drunk and abusive and so I refused to answer after I hung up on him). He's all drunk and abusive and then starts sending the "I love yous", "You are mine forever" and "good night my love". YUCK!!!
My new man's X is doing almost the same as my XAH. They have been divorced for a couple of years. However, once she found out about me she started sending my new man the same "I love you" garbage like my XAH is doing. She is also quite the nutter - living her life out on Facebook like a 15 year old girl, abusing people via text and FB messages (I blocked her after a few nasty ones). She even got a mutual friend to harass my new man and me so we both had to block the mutual friend too.
I kicked the XAH out to get peace! I had it for a few years and now I'm copping it from him and my new man's X.
Is this normal? I know it's not. How long can these people keep up this garbage for and WHY do they do it? I just want peace and to be happy.
I haven't been on in a while but am feeling quite strange about my XAH and his behaviour recently.
We are divorced and have been separated for three years. I have moved on. I met a lovely man in February and we are in a relationship.
Since my XAH and my new man's X found out about us, both of them have behaved horribly. My XAH (who I have to be in contact with due to the kids) has always sent me the most awful, nasty texts and emails. He is still drunk most of the time and has made no effort whatsoever to get sober. XAH has suddenly decided that he loves me and keeps sending me stupid texts. I bought a new phone so I can block him when he starts up, but it is really annoying and sometimes distressing. Last week he called me more than 30 times before he gave up (he was drunk and abusive and so I refused to answer after I hung up on him). He's all drunk and abusive and then starts sending the "I love yous", "You are mine forever" and "good night my love". YUCK!!!
My new man's X is doing almost the same as my XAH. They have been divorced for a couple of years. However, once she found out about me she started sending my new man the same "I love you" garbage like my XAH is doing. She is also quite the nutter - living her life out on Facebook like a 15 year old girl, abusing people via text and FB messages (I blocked her after a few nasty ones). She even got a mutual friend to harass my new man and me so we both had to block the mutual friend too.
I kicked the XAH out to get peace! I had it for a few years and now I'm copping it from him and my new man's X.
Is this normal? I know it's not. How long can these people keep up this garbage for and WHY do they do it? I just want peace and to be happy.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Lisa, if he's seriously disturbing and harassing you (and you have the phone records) you may have to think about taking an order out against him. Do a bit of research on what is possible. Your man would be advised to do the same against his ex.
The possibility of legal consequences can have a magic effect.
The possibility of legal consequences can have a magic effect.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
You can have peace and you can be happy. No one has the right to abuse you and force themselves on you. I would contact the authorities and file a restraining order against him. Your new man should do the same. You both need to sit down and decide how you are going to handle this and come to a mutual agreement. There will be problems down the road if one of you handles it and the other doesn't.
Remember don't feed the trolls. No response is the best response.
Remember don't feed the trolls. No response is the best response.
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