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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Suffern
Posts: 3
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could use some help here.. my gf has been in the program now for almost 9 months(court ordered).. we always had an open book about texts and phone calls i never checked hers she never checked mine,, wouldnt matter if she did all i ever do is work and come home,, well after 3 times i caught her lying to me about who texted her or was on the phone i checked her texts and sure enough she is texting and calling this guy in recovery..and its not just friendly chat..how is it i put up with all the drunkeness and ******** fines and tickets and dealing with the house and then i get crapped on? not right
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
some people have a lot of OTHER issues besides JUST drinking. and it sounds like you had the misfortune of finding this out the hard way.
you have the opportunity NOW to decide what you are willing to put up with and where you draw the line. you don't HAVE to put up with any more BS, you are not obligated to do so. you have a contract with yourself to do your best and be your very best, healthiest, happiest self.
shocks like these are never EASY to deal with. i'm so sorry.
you have the opportunity NOW to decide what you are willing to put up with and where you draw the line. you don't HAVE to put up with any more BS, you are not obligated to do so. you have a contract with yourself to do your best and be your very best, healthiest, happiest self.
shocks like these are never EASY to deal with. i'm so sorry.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Portsmouth, VA
Posts: 33
My husband came home from rehab on 20 June. He met one girl there our age (48) who he had given a nickname to the first day she walked in the door. He told her as he told all of the guys there, they had a place to stay if they were ever in the area. He had one phone call and a couple texts to/from her.
I confronted him on this because I was not comfortable with it. He sees it as completely innocent, which that is just the type of guy he is, but it doesn't make a difference to me. I told him I was not comfortable with the phone calls, texting and definitely not having her stay at the house, she will not stay at the house. He was like, "okay, I was treating it like any of our friends who would come to town". Um, nope, not the same.
Sorry to babble on, but I wanted you to know you are not alone in your feelings. From my reading, people (A) get close to each other because of what they are going through.
I confronted him on this because I was not comfortable with it. He sees it as completely innocent, which that is just the type of guy he is, but it doesn't make a difference to me. I told him I was not comfortable with the phone calls, texting and definitely not having her stay at the house, she will not stay at the house. He was like, "okay, I was treating it like any of our friends who would come to town". Um, nope, not the same.
Sorry to babble on, but I wanted you to know you are not alone in your feelings. From my reading, people (A) get close to each other because of what they are going through.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
This! A lot of people want to blame alcoholism on their bad behaviors, but that is just not so.
So sorry you are hurting. XXX
So sorry you are hurting. XXX
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
Nope, it's not right. And alcoholism isn't an excuse for that kind of behavior.
So what's your next move?
So what's your next move?
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