I've gotten picky with frienships
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
I've gotten picky with frienships
I think the following story is a sign that my AlAnon program is working.
I used to have some unhealthy friends, most of the time they were alcoholics.
Upon moving back to my hometown this year, I reconnected with a couple and started a new professional club with them and another person. After a very short time, the lady of the pair began exhibiting some very odd behavior. This included obvious attempts to get me enmeshed in a lot of drama, such as her hamfisted attempts to control our organization. She really turned into an incompetent blundering control freak. Classic untreated AlAnon material.
Now she is hot that I have quit her club and quit spending time with her.
I mentioned to my home group that she had become a second qualifier to me in the program. This idea of cutting toxic people out of my life is a relatively novel concept I wish I had known 30 years ago.
I am grateful to AlAnon and SR for the support and sanity.
I used to have some unhealthy friends, most of the time they were alcoholics.
Upon moving back to my hometown this year, I reconnected with a couple and started a new professional club with them and another person. After a very short time, the lady of the pair began exhibiting some very odd behavior. This included obvious attempts to get me enmeshed in a lot of drama, such as her hamfisted attempts to control our organization. She really turned into an incompetent blundering control freak. Classic untreated AlAnon material.
Now she is hot that I have quit her club and quit spending time with her.
I mentioned to my home group that she had become a second qualifier to me in the program. This idea of cutting toxic people out of my life is a relatively novel concept I wish I had known 30 years ago.
I am grateful to AlAnon and SR for the support and sanity.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
I've done a bit of that as well. I see and understand so much more about my relationships with others since I began Alanon and SR. I didn't realize how unhealthy some of my friendships were (mostly As and assorted problem drinkers), and my life is more peaceful because of it.
It hurts some though, one of the friends I've limited contact with has been in my life for nearly 30 years, we were just teens when we met. Her drinking has progressed to a point to where she can become emotionally abusive and bullying when she's drunk. I simply don't answer her calls after a 8:00pm because I know she's likely smashed and I don't want to deal with it, and the beauty of it is, I now realize that I don't have to deal with it. Her drinking/drama is not my problem.
You can never have too little drama and BS in your world!
It hurts some though, one of the friends I've limited contact with has been in my life for nearly 30 years, we were just teens when we met. Her drinking has progressed to a point to where she can become emotionally abusive and bullying when she's drunk. I simply don't answer her calls after a 8:00pm because I know she's likely smashed and I don't want to deal with it, and the beauty of it is, I now realize that I don't have to deal with it. Her drinking/drama is not my problem.
You can never have too little drama and BS in your world!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Also had to decide just this morning to not pursue membership in a professional organization I was considering. It is run by someone who is not even one of their board members, who exhibits all the personality traits of an active alcoholic. All the members do exactly what this individual tells them to.
A saying from one of our SR friends comes to mind:
"When they show you who they are, BELIEVE them!"
A saying from one of our SR friends comes to mind:
"When they show you who they are, BELIEVE them!"
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