Jeni26

I'm honestly reaching the end of my tether.

My AH is arranging to go to a beer festival on Friday. I have organised to stay out that night as he is bound to be drunk and unreasonable. He is really bugging me and has been on the phone to friends every night making plans. I had sort of come to terms with it, but now he is encouraging our son to join him. I want to scream!!! He is so far in denial that he cannot/will not take any responsibility for his behaviour.

Our son is 22, so not a child, but he is being encouraged to think that getting drunk is ok and bizarre behaviour funny.

I'm so worried for their safety. I don't think I will ever make my peace with this.

I'm crying right now.

ladyscribbler

That was a big catalyst for me to change my life. I didn't want my sons growing up with drunken, out of control behavior being modeled as normal.
Your son is an adult. Have you had an adult conversation with him about alcoholism, especially the hereditary aspect? Are you open with him about your own recovery? How does he feel about his dad's drinking? On a practical note, do they have a DD for this drunkfest?
My ex used "encourage" everyone around him to drink, teetotalers, his recovering alcoholic father, everyone. I can't count the number of times he brought me a drink that I hadn't asked for and then got angry with me for refusing it. He wanted to normalize his alcoholism so he tried to put a drink into everyone else's hand to take the focus off himself.

Jeni26

They are taking a train. He has never driven drunk (so far anyway).

I have spoken to my son in detail about alcoholism. He knows all about me, I've invited him to go to AA meetings with me but he hasn't wanted to. But then again, I've always taken my own alcoholism very seriously. When my H gave up drinking with me in May 2012, he never used the term alcoholic to describe himself. He has admitted to me the fact that he didn't like the person he became when he was drunk. But he never did anything for his recovery. I used to admire that about him. I thought he was stronger than me.

But of course that always gave him an opt out clause. Without ever admitting a problem, he could go back to it easily. And now he's like a child in a sweet shop. He's manic about drinking...and yes, I think he's using our son to justify his drinking.

I hate this.

Liveitwell

They are very sick people. Keep the lines of communication open and put your boundaries into place. I don't know where it states that it's part of a parents role and responsibility to get drunk with their kids/family members BuT that seems to be the case in alcoholic families. Prayer helps me, too, deal with things out of my control. I hope this helps you!! Peace to you.