Drugs-recovered-alcohol-traded-for-the-other
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Join Date: Jul 2015
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Drugs-recovered-alcohol-traded-for-the-other
As a late teen I hung around the wrong people and ended up addicted to drugs and 18 months in state jail. Once released I never had the desire for them again. Now in my early thirties and have been drinking. Basically traded one for the other. Bing drinking is ruining my mental stability. I don't want 12 steps, I just want limits. Anyone ever start and then can't stop every time?
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Welcome to SR Mdwab. 
Pretty near all of us I think. Some are able to stop after a night a while, and others keep going for weeks, months or even years while picking up almost right after waking up.
Originally Posted by Mdwab82 
Anyone ever start and then can't stop every time?
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Welcome.
Came a time I lost the power of choice and no matter how bad I wanted to stop I couldn't. Went on for many years like that.
Can ya explain what ya mean by ya "Just want limits?"
Came a time I lost the power of choice and no matter how bad I wanted to stop I couldn't. Went on for many years like that.
Can ya explain what ya mean by ya "Just want limits?"
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1,053
No. Sometimes I could have a few and stop. The issue is I'm never quite sure when I could stop and when I couldn't. And even if I controlled it for awhile I would think about it and over time it would escalate.
So yes when I drank there were many nights I only had 1-3. But there were other days when I had much more
So yes when I drank there were many nights I only had 1-3. But there were other days when I had much more
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 5
The amount of much more is what worries me. I can put down 12-18 and be full of regret and anxiety the next day. Friends tell me I need to know my limit, but I've never been able to find a limit, it's either full on drunk and sick the next day or not drink at all. 1-3 just irritate me because there's no more to come. But don't get me wrong I have a good paying respected profession and I excel at work constantly. But all my off or down time is spent trying to release stress or forget work and all my many responsibilities. I am newly married to someone I have been with over five years, and am taking care of elderly parents. I used to exercise, then fell off that wagon. My weight has ballooned out of control to where I can't fit into anything I own or I look sloppy in it. I guess this kinda is rock bottom because I'm tired of the way I embarrass myself when I drink and the way I feel the next day. I want to be a happy, healthy person and am just finding no motivation. The world is closing in really heavy on me and I feel trapped by everything I have to do on a daily basis.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Hi Mdwab!
Why not just go with the zero option? It makes life so much easier. So much of the anxiety, the struggle, the drain on your mental capacity comes from the battle of trying to moderate. It's not a battle that will ever be won as a long term solution. And it's not even a battle worth fighting. Alcohol is not worth it. The zero option is the only thing that brought me true peace. There is no struggle and the relief is indescribable.
Once I ditched the booze, the other things were more easily dealt with. All the things you describe in your post are hard. You're just making them infinitely harder by binge drinking. Drinking exacerbates anxiety, sometimes to the point of emotional paralysis.
Best to you. I hope you find relief soon. I know first hand how hard it is to live like that.
Why not just go with the zero option? It makes life so much easier. So much of the anxiety, the struggle, the drain on your mental capacity comes from the battle of trying to moderate. It's not a battle that will ever be won as a long term solution. And it's not even a battle worth fighting. Alcohol is not worth it. The zero option is the only thing that brought me true peace. There is no struggle and the relief is indescribable.
Once I ditched the booze, the other things were more easily dealt with. All the things you describe in your post are hard. You're just making them infinitely harder by binge drinking. Drinking exacerbates anxiety, sometimes to the point of emotional paralysis.
Best to you. I hope you find relief soon. I know first hand how hard it is to live like that.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi Mdwab, your statement " The world is closing in really heavy on me and I feel trapped by everything I have to do on a daily basis."
In my opinion this is alcoholism that is progressing. Your world shrinks, and the one thing that makes it temporarily better is alcohol. The members here will offer you great advice, and reading here daily will be very helpful. I wish you the very best.
In my opinion this is alcoholism that is progressing. Your world shrinks, and the one thing that makes it temporarily better is alcohol. The members here will offer you great advice, and reading here daily will be very helpful. I wish you the very best.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 770
Yup,
I can relate to trading one addiction for another.
when I was ready to stop it was with the help of trauma counseling .
also, 12 steps are not the only way , I can't post links on my tablet but there should be a thread at the top of the new comers section that has all the programs you can use.
I can relate to trading one addiction for another.
when I was ready to stop it was with the help of trauma counseling .
also, 12 steps are not the only way , I can't post links on my tablet but there should be a thread at the top of the new comers section that has all the programs you can use.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Mdwab
I think a lot of us have moved from one addiction to another. I did - until I finally realised I was trying to fill a void in me that could never be filled with 'stuff' - I needed to work on healing that void.
That's worked out much better for me.
I can't control my drinking once I start - there's no off wotch and no way for me to put one in, so setting limits for myself is useless.
Again, abstinence works better for me - I was beating my mind and body around pretty hard with how much and how often I was drinking.
D
I think a lot of us have moved from one addiction to another. I did - until I finally realised I was trying to fill a void in me that could never be filled with 'stuff' - I needed to work on healing that void.
That's worked out much better for me.
I can't control my drinking once I start - there's no off wotch and no way for me to put one in, so setting limits for myself is useless.
Again, abstinence works better for me - I was beating my mind and body around pretty hard with how much and how often I was drinking.
D
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
'Limits' were elusive, illusory, even flat out lies for me.... Though I spent a long long time spinning those lines to myself.
I've found out that limiting myself to none has turned my life into a much better place for me and everyone around me.
So I'm sticking with the limit of sobriety. Makes everything a lot easier, too. Just one limit to remember, one limit to observe, one limit to honor.... Easy peasy, no negotiations needed.
Welcome
I've found out that limiting myself to none has turned my life into a much better place for me and everyone around me.
So I'm sticking with the limit of sobriety. Makes everything a lot easier, too. Just one limit to remember, one limit to observe, one limit to honor.... Easy peasy, no negotiations needed.
Welcome
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Midwab: You wrote:" Friends tell me I need to know my limit, but I've never been able to find a limit, it's either full on drunk and sick the next day or not drink at all. 1-3 just irritate me because there's no more to come. But don't get me wrong I have a good paying respected profession and I excel at work constantly."
Sounds to me like you're probably an alcoholic. If so, there's no "limit". Few if any can drink moderately "within their limit". And it gets far worse. As for the "good paying job", this, as well as everything else, gets sacrificed eventually to the booze. The choice is yours. Good luck. All the best.
W.
Sounds to me like you're probably an alcoholic. If so, there's no "limit". Few if any can drink moderately "within their limit". And it gets far worse. As for the "good paying job", this, as well as everything else, gets sacrificed eventually to the booze. The choice is yours. Good luck. All the best.
W.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 5
Thank you all for the kind words of encouragement. I have kept this all so well hidden I feel like it's only my secret. Today is my first day off in a while and I have tomorrow off too. I woke up this morning thinking, I can drink today and not have to worry about working tomorrow. Once I realized my thought process I decided to do something different. Today after my dr.appt I'm going to spend some time doing things I need to do. I have made the conscious decision to NOT drink today. I need new shoes and pants for work, so that is what I'm going to do this afternoon is go look for these items. Cook dinner for the folks at home and then watch netflix. I have a plan and that is something I strive on is structure. So I am going to implement it in my days off so I don't have time to drink because I'm not planning on ding it. I realize this is only a small step, but I feel it's a step in the right direction. 
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
i felt a bit off by not doing my usual drinking at first but it got easier.
when i drank i routinely bit off more hten i could chew in life freaked out about it and drunk the struggle away. I'm still learning to not bite off more then ic an chew and keep things simple.
But quiting drinking has been a great choice for me. Your life will change considerably by not drinking in a good way too.
when i drank i routinely bit off more hten i could chew in life freaked out about it and drunk the struggle away. I'm still learning to not bite off more then ic an chew and keep things simple.
But quiting drinking has been a great choice for me. Your life will change considerably by not drinking in a good way too.
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