PinotNOmore

Honestly, I'm not optimistic. This S*#t is baffling. I love my life. love my family. Things are REALLY good. Watching childhood movies tonight and I want that innocence back! My addiction is in the mild-moderate stage, I think. Posting for my own accountability. Gonna try day one tomorrow, but I already hear arguments in my head. Pretty sure its hopeless...

Debbie329

Every sober life starts w a day one.

Dee74

Thats pretty normal.





The way to keep moving forward is to feed your good side - make a plan, find support, make lifestyle changes...

let that addictive side wither and die...

You can do this PNM.

Put the work in and you will succeed...guaranteed

mecanix

What i asked myself was how many more days , weeks or months of my life was i going to P*** away , having poor relationships with those i love , living paycheque to paycheque, risking my life / livelihood and others by driving the morning after the night before , Feeling sick and getting sicker ..

You might think your doing ok , i found out that whilst i was getting drunk things were going on that i was unaware of and the time of my life was passing me by ..

I know what 20 years of too much drinking gave me , i didn't know what 20 years sober might give me .. a few years in it seems worthwhile .

m

Verte

Pinotnomore...do not pick up that drink tomorrow. There is most definitely hope for you. The life you work in the midst of not drinking is progressive and beautiful. A new innocence. Stick around SR. Everyone here truly does support along the way.

MelindaFlowers

Welcome,

You say that your addiction is in the mild to moderate stage right now. I think there are two ways to look at that. The toxic, unhealthy way to look at it would be to say well I'm not that bad so I can keep drinking. And if you were to think that then I think your problem would be more than mild to moderate.

The healthy productive to look at it would be well my addiction has not cost me that much yet and my health is still pretty good so I should stop now while I am ahead.

I was somebody who pushed it to pretty severe level. I highly recommend stopping now before you get to the really really bad stuff. And yes, it does get that bad.

Also remember that mild to moderate is a stage of alcoholism, not a type.

MythOfSisyphus

Keep fighting, Pinot. You're not doomed to fail and as long you're determined to try.

SansaS

Why not give sobriety a red hot go? What have you got to lose? Come and join us in the July class 👍

SansaS

Sorry my iPhone has gone crackers. Double posting lol

Marcher13

Pinot I think you've reached a stage where you know that things are actually getting pretty bad but you are avoiding looking your addiction in the face. I know because I did it too.

I remember Dee saying one time that the only way we can drink is if we hold the glass/bottle up to our mouths. It is a decision to drink the same as it's a decision not to drink.

What can you do today to not drink? And more to the point, what are you going to do with your life today?

FreeOwl

It's not hopeless

Ruby2

I lay in bed this morning thinking of how little of my 30s and 40s I actually remember. I'm 50 now. That's 20 years of my life I can't get back. I went from mild to moderate to drinking every night and all day on weekends. I didn't lose much on paper but I sure wasn't giving life a shot.

You can quit. It isn't hopeless. I did detox and inpatient treatment to kick start my sobriety. Maybe that would help you. But you have to take action. One day at a time. You can do it.

IOAA2

^^^^^^^^^^^^
Hi.
I know when I start something with a negative mindset it usually ends up negative. Try thinking positive, it will work.

If you’re an alcoholic try reading a lot of posts on this site. I don’t recall an alcoholic saying “I continued to drink and my life got better.” Also I never heard it at any of the thousands of AA meetings I’ve attended.
Alcohol takes, takes and takes because it is progressive, powerful, baffling, cunning and insidious.

BE WELL

Elizabeth333

I continued to drink, even when it didn't even work. My final memory is a nightmare of lost job, absent family and laying by the side of the road with an officer bending over me. I asked him to shoot me in the head, which quite nicely he refused to do. Waking up sober again today - is truly a gift.

soberclover

It is good that things in your life are good. You also identify your addiction as mild to moderate. I know that this addict didn't stay in this range long; my addiction jumped to moderate to severe. And things in my life weren't good any more. If you are posting, you know that this will become a problem. Please give sobriety a try.

ScottFromWI

It really doesn't matter what "stage" your addiction is in Pinot, it's addiction plain and simple. You say you want accountability...why not join a daily thread here on SR to get started? You have a strong propensity to come and post here after a relapse or just post once about trying again, but you then dissapear.

Hopeless is a term that you cannot use when talking about addiction because sobriety is based on action - on our part. You can certainly hope for it, but you won't get it unless you make a formal committment to it and accept your addiction for what it is. Anyone is capable of it - you included.

PurpleKnight

You can do this Pinot, but hope never got me far, I needed a plan, be proactive in my actions, change up my routines, what activities I got involved in, what people I hung out with!!

We have to make Sobriety happen, and it can be done!!

thomas11

You stated: "Pretty sure its hopeless..." and that you "love your life". Obviously you have a concern since you joined this site. You would be doing yourself a huge favor if you become "hopeful" instead of hopeless and make a change before you "hate your life". If you spend enough time reading on this site, you will see that is not only a possibility, but a reality. good luck to you.

Meraviglioso

You can do this. Look at all the people here who have done it and are doing it every day. That's not to say it will be easy- for me personally it has been the hardest thing I've ever done. But I too love my life and realized that by drinking I was missing out on so much by being in a drunken haze and more importantly risking losing it all. We're all here to support you.

ccam1973

PNM, you know you can do this. There is a lot of good advise here. Take some time and really think about what you want. If you really want to remove drinking from your life, you have the power to do just that. It takes effort and will power, but it is within your grasp to accomplish.

I think just about everyone here with some time under their belts would say... "if I can do this then anyone can". I'm one of them and it is so true. Anyone can do this with determination.

You are a very strong individual. You can do this for yourself, you will benefit from all of the effort you put in, you will get your life back to where you want it to be.

Mecanix had a very good post. You might think you are doing ok, but there is something in you that keeps bringing you back here. Wanting to be sober.

I had forgotten how much fun life could be sober. I hadn't had that feeling in over 21 years. Now that I have a year under my belt, I know everything that I was missing. I wasted 21 years, for the most part, they are erased from my memory as if they didn't happen. The only memories I have are from pictures that I was lucky enough to take throughout that time.

My point is, you won't know what you are missing out on until you give this a good try. It is tough and will be a change to your life, but it is so worth the effort you will put in.

Give this a good shot, lean on SR as much as you need and just don't drink. You deserve this for you.