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Back with my tails between my Legs.

Old 07-07-2015, 08:08 AM
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Back with my tails between my Legs.

Hi everyone,

Sorry I have missed you all. I ran to the bottle again this weekend and went on a bender. Why cannot accept the fact that I am a alcoholic!
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Old 07-07-2015, 08:18 AM
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I couldn't accept it because I did not believe it. I knew I drank too much, but me an alcoholic........no way.

As I entered a program of recovery I was able to gain enough sober time to let my head clear and begin to understand who I truly was. I became willing to a point of allowing myself time to heal. Some how we have to buy ourselves that time, I believe.

Acceptance is indeed the answer and truly seeing ourselves. It's not easy sometimes but a review of 30 + years for me and the evidence stacked up pretty quickly.

Finally I read this - I'd rather walk around sober thinking I was an alcoholic than being drunk daily thinking I was not.

click.........

When you're ready, you'll find a way. The really bad part of becoming ready is will we survive until then.......

Thanks for the post -
Glad you're back!
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Old 07-07-2015, 08:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Alchemist1978 View Post
Why cannot accept the fact that I am a alcoholic!
Maybe because if you don't think you are, you can keep drinking. I don't know. You don't have to be an alcoholic to quit drinking. But you do have to want to quit.

If you miss us, as you say, visit and post daily. Especially BEFORE you drink. Not after.
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Old 07-07-2015, 08:37 AM
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Well, denial is a huge part of the disease of alcoholism. Can you make a plan so that you get through the upcoming weekend without drinking? I'm glad to see you back.
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Old 07-07-2015, 09:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Alchemist1978 View Post
Hi everyone,

Sorry I have missed you all. I ran to the bottle again this weekend and went on a bender. Why cannot accept the fact that I am a alcoholic!
Ask yourself if it's really that you "cannot" accept it or that you "will not" accept it. As Anna says, denial is very common in addiction. Looking back through your posts you've had a lot of "day 1s" and even been to the ER/hospital due to withdrawals.....which is all pretty strong physical evidence that you are an alcoholic that you are obviously denying somehow.

For most what is necessary is a daily plan to get started That can mean a lot of things but here are some examples:

* AA /NA/LifeRing/Smart or other meeting based recovery
* Inpatient or outpatient rehab,
* Counseling ( drug alcohol specific or general )
* Online resources like SR and join daily threads/groups
* Self Paced methods like AVRT, etc
* Meditation/Mindfulness
* Self help books/reading

Bottom line though, It's up to you to take action and make a plan using resources like mentioned above. You need to take the initiative yourself and do the work - bearing in mind that no matter what method you choose, there will be things you need to do that you do not want or like to do. Addiction is strong and there is no "easy" fix, nor a permanent cure - you will need to work at it daily. The rewards far outweigh the work though.
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Old 07-07-2015, 10:06 AM
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Welp. I made that same argument. It's just a physical thing, don't make it into a big moral failing - it's not. You've created a condition in your brain that makes you incapable of moderation.

Read up on the brain's reaction to addiction - it will help.

I agree that AA was really helpful for me to break through the denial. Give it a try - instant sober friends, too.
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Old 07-07-2015, 10:50 AM
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Welcome back Alchemist!!
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Old 07-07-2015, 03:38 PM
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Welcome back Alchemist

Even slow learners like myself eventually 'got it' - I cannot drink and be the person I want to be, or have the life I want to live.

something has to give... and I chose drinking. Best decision I ever made.

I hope you can make this your turning point too

D
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Old 07-07-2015, 05:00 PM
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I'm with Dee on this - I didn't look at it so much as accepting that I am an alcoholic as realizing I can never be the person I want to be if I drink.

Plus maybe running out of fancy new ideas of how to control it so it wasn't a problem. None of them ever worked. It was always a problem when I drank. It will always be a problem when I drink. I'm an average thinker on a good day, but I can figure out how to be rid of THAT problem.

All of us against the addiction. Welcome back to the fight.
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Old 07-07-2015, 06:02 PM
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Welcome back Alchemist
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Old 07-07-2015, 06:03 PM
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Glad you put a halt to it and came back Alchemist. It's going to be fine - you will do this.
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Old 07-07-2015, 07:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Alchemist1978 View Post
Hi everyone,

Sorry I have missed you all. I ran to the bottle again this weekend and went on a bender. Why cannot accept the fact that I am a alcoholic!
Welcome back,

Acceptance is key butt I accepted that I was an alcoholic long before I stopped drinking. Acceptance is the first step but it takes a lot of work and dedication to stop drinking alcohol.

Everybody says this, but if I can do it anybody can do it. I was a pretty hopeless end stage alcoholic. I actually found sobriety to be a big relief. My drinking and become so much work and not drinking all of a sudden became the easier way out.
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Old 07-07-2015, 07:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Flynbuy View Post
I couldn't accept it because I did not believe it. I knew I drank too much, but me an alcoholic........no way.

As I entered a program of recovery I was able to gain enough sober time to let my head clear and begin to understand who I truly was. I became willing to a point of allowing myself time to heal. Some how we have to buy ourselves that time, I believe.

Acceptance is indeed the answer and truly seeing ourselves. It's not easy sometimes but a review of 30 + years for me and the evidence stacked up pretty quickly.

Finally I read this - I'd rather walk around sober thinking I was an alcoholic than being drunk daily thinking I was not.

click.........

When you're ready, you'll find a way. The really bad part of becoming ready is will we survive until then.......

Thanks for the post -
Glad you're back!
Wow, almost every word of this post is unique and true.

Good luck Alchemist
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Old 07-07-2015, 07:25 PM
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Everyone offers great advice and hopefully you can find it helpful. I agree with Carl, if you post before or while those thoughts of doing some boozing enters your head, these folks will talk you out of it. Even if you're dead set on getting drunk, post first and there is a VERY good possibility you won't.
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