Hunter101

Hey,
I cant stop drinking! I keep telling myself I am going to, but I cant!
Here is my daily routine:
7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Work.
5:35 p.m I pick up 4 beers and drink them, finish them by 6:10 p.m.
Get home at 6 p.m. eat dinner
6:30 p.m. i am at the gym till 7:30 p.m.
7:35 I pick up another 16 beers and polis them off by 11:00 p.m.
11:10 p.m. I am in bed, fall asleep, wake up and repeat cycle!!!
I just cant stop!

I am in a bad marriage and I cant leave and am lonely! I know this doesnt help my drinking, caue when I am angy or lonely I drink more!
I am an alcoholic! I cant do AA. I see a therapist who is always telling me to qui, but I cant seem to make it.

Elizabeth333

Hi - you can stop. There are many here, including myself, who never thought they could - start at one minute at a time. You have found the drive within yourself to work out - and that takes drive!!!! You also found the drive to come here and ask for help.

zjw

geeze thats rough. I'm surprised you still make it to the gym. I'd try and shake up the routine. stay at the gym another hour or so or come back from the gym and make a nice healthy green smoothie to replenish your body after a workout. When your ready to sit around and relax before bed drink some tea etc..

geeze 4 beers before you eve get to the gym too? I'd never even make it to the gym I would stop at just 4 once i start i dont stop.

You really have 1 foot in each world its gotta be yanking you in 2 differnet directions. For me one side would desperately want to just get totally drunk and the other side would be yanking me to the gym the battle and torment inside of me would be horendous until i caved into one or the other ways of life. Being a full on drinker is a struggle. But trying to have it both ways could quite possibly be worse but just not drinking and and living a healthy life is considerably easier then both.

try and break the cycle and shake up your routine?

Hunter101

Ya!!!
Its a bitch!!!! I love the gym, thats why i go. But the drinking just wont stop!

ccam1973

I used to have the same cycle... until I had kids then I had to cut the gym routine out.

You can stop if you want to. It sounds like the gym and being fit motivates you. Try to use that same motivation to quit. Think of how your body would benefit from not drinking tonight; not before or after working out. See how you feel tomorrow, but give it a serious try tonight and just don't drink.

Something so simple, but so hard... I know, I was there. It does get easier with time, but you have to get past the initial hurdle of breaking the routine. Come up with a plan to do other things instead of drinking when you get home from the gym... even if that is to go to bed earlier than normal.

Use this community as much as you need. Lean on us often and when ever you are feeling weak.

It is tough, but you can do this. I promise, you won't regret the decision to not drink tonight. Every ounce of energy you put into being sober is totally worth what you will get out of it.

ultradad

Hunter, I feel you and it does suck! So, why can't you do AA? I know there's lots of ways out there to get sober, but AA has worked for everyone whose applied it's principles. I used to think I couldn't do AA either, but by the grace of God and AA I've been sober for 14 months so it can be done.

Good luck to you!

Tang

I used to drink a shot of vodka before I did p90x. I replaced it with a glass of water. Much better results. I'm not going to tell you ending an addiction or bad habit is easy, but why not replace those beers with water?

JerryFish

Your story sounds similar to mine when I were drinking. Minus the drinking and the relationship. I was always alone.

Btw, why can't you do AA?

And you CAN do it. I'm 7 days sober now after about 5 years of the same pattern as yours. I quit and called my doctor. Do at least that last part, call your doctor. There is help available.

Mountainmanbob

It's amazing how many claim to be alcoholic
yet say they, "can't do AA"

It's a shame
for I have seen some real
beat down alcoholics
come into AA in the last several months
that are sober today and doing fine.

Just talked with a Lady yesterday
older Lady
who just got 4 months sober in AA

Question -- why do we cheat ourselves ??

MM

ScottFromWI

Based on your schedule above, it looks like you have roughly 4 hours of each each day exclusively reserved for drinking. Whether you do AA or not, a good start would be to devote some of that time towards recovery. There are plenty of options besides AA out there, you can read about many of them here in the Secular forums area or just ask. I would imagine your therapist has other options too.

cassidy33

"The drinking won't stop!" It wont stop unless you do the work. It's like going to the gym. You have to do the work to stay fit. I know how you feel being in a cycle that you hate.

Why cant you do AA? I too thought that myself, but I couldn't have gotten and stayed sober without it. I'm 3 years sober now. I used to hit a meeting once, sometimes twice a day in my first 6 months. I don't go to meetings anymore unless I'm really triggered to drink. It's not like you have to be married to AA forever.

Try getting a Big Book (AA) and reading the personal stories in the back. You could probably find them online as well. Those really helped me....to know people have struggled with this for centuries.

GnikNus

SR is a good place to come for help breaking the habit and the cycle. It's helped many of us quit and stay quit.
On a side note, just curious- you go to the gym after drinking 4 beers and eating dinner?

Fly N Buy

If youcannot stop and have tired various methods including f2f meetings, perhaps you'll consider another level of help - OP or IP rehab. Many have been where you are and have found a way out. I drank for over 30 years and have garnered almost 13 months - in row no less!

Sobriety is possible but we have to change - it doesn't just happen or fall from the sky.

I too was in a bad, loveless, resentful marriage. My wife was most of the problem in my life. I swore I'd divorce her after a year of sobriety.
I am truly amazed how much she's changed in my first year of sobriety - Wow!

Thanks for the post - it is always helpful to share with others our struggles. You are not alone, friend.

Hunter101

Yes, I drink the beers, then eat dinner then go to the gym!

edward73

we can quit bro..... Im on day 3 again after many years complete abstinence. AA was introduced to me at the age I started drinking 13 to support my mother............. Im 41 now been doing AA and celebrate recovery whatever to beat my best thinking.... Beer===== equals a hungover mind and body, totalled cars trucks 5x at least, 3 prison terms and numerous relationships due to foolishness while drunk on BEER my drug of choice OUCH !!!!!!!!! I dont have family members to support me so this is another venue to find some family, freinds a community where we have suffered from the repeated use of alcohol. I know Im responsible for my drinking pattern and hope you find the joy being sober real soon buddy.... I trained a parole officer at the gym as a personal trainer now Im a parolee again....

Hunter101

WOW! Thanks.
I do like my beer though, at least I think I do.
Im gonna try to do without it today!

edward73

I hope nobody has to go thru the torture I have been thru in my life due to taking the first drink or bottle can of beer.......... I have been out of prison, on this side of fence for 5 months now and have probably drank 10xs all to return the incomprehensible demoralized state everytime and yes a blackout everytime..... I am blessed today to be free and am trying to love more than to be loved...... Ok Im going to keep checking back regularly

thomas11

Holy cow, you're a manly man! work all day, drink, eat, hit the gym, drink more, unahppy marriage, counseling. I'm surprised you can fit this all in 24 hrs.

I would prioritize and starting pickin' em off one by one. Number one on the list must be alcohol. Your plate is full dude, I feel for ya.

BlissWithin

I'd see a doctor first, he can give you medication to ease the withdrawals, 20 beers a day is a lot to detox from.

Hunter101

Lol.
Thanks