redfox15

Hi everybody,

I have a binge drinking problem that is starting to affect my relationships and I have decided that I need to stop before it gets worse.

I'm 29 next week and have been binge drinking most weekends since I was 17, probably. This is nothing different to most in my social groups, but what might be a bit different is that while a lot of my friends are cutting back, I am still doing embarrassing things.

A couple of months ago I was the worst I've ever been -spewing onto myself in bed, no memory etc. My girlfriend of 7 years was really upset about that. Then just last Friday I went out, didn't get too drunk, but did something fairly minor though still silly/due to drink which cause my GF to snap and move to her parents house while I sort things out.

The funny thing is is that it's like there are two versions of me - one who can go out and have one beer, or three or four and be just fine. No problems at all and happy to stop drinking. But then there is the other version of me, the one who decides it is going to be a big night and then goes on a binge.

I'm going to see a councillor tomorrow, but thought I would write a post on here too. Even the act of writing has been useful.

I've spoken to some councillors on the phone and think my first step is going to be to identify my binge drinking triggers. Hopefully I can stop the binges but still be able to have one or two beers. I just want to stop the 'bad version' of me from coming out to play...

Thanks for reading, any advice is most welcome :-)

CaseyW

Welcome to SR, redfox15. I was never able to predict after I took that first drink whether I was only going to have one more or if I was going to have ten or twelve or fifteen more. My addiction was in charge once I took that first sip. Total abstinence from alcohol--ie not taking that first drink no matter what--has been the answer for me. Wishing you the best and glad you're here. There is a better way of life waiting for you and it's not in the bottom of a beer or whiskey or wine bottle.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Redfox!!

Saskia

Welcome, Redfox! My experience has been like Casey's. Good that you recognize that you have a problem and will be seeing a counselor. This is also a very supportive and friendly place.

davaidavai

Does having one or two drinks appeal to you? I don't really get that. I want to have the latitude to have 5 drinks. And then I'll probably have 10. 1 or 2 is just enough to put me in a little funk.

I like to think that my drinking would be appropriate for a tribal context, in which I am some sort of farmer, or blacksmith, or something, like my father and his father before him...but I'm not.

Hevyn

Good to meet you redfox! I agree - writing my thoughts here helped me feel less anxious. Everyone understands the challenges you're facing. You'll find plenty of encouragement here - you can do this!

I clung to the idea that I could be a social drinker for many years. I didn't want to have to stop all together - but every time it was in my system, unexpected & dangerous things happened. In my 20's I still had some control - but eventually I became completely dependent on it. It would've been much easier to stop when I knew I was in trouble - before my life fell apart. Glad you are here - there's always someone to talk things over with, 24/7.

gettingsmarter

Welcome redfox.

Angie247

Welcome redfox15! Writing has been a big source of comfort to me since I stopped drinking. I write down all the negatives about drinking, the positives about being sober, and some about the experiences and feelings I had while drinking and they were not pleasant experiences. Staying close to SR has been so helpful for me too. There's so much support here.

Soberwolf

Welcome RedFox

Ruby2

Welcome redfox to SR.

least

Welcome to the family. I tried to moderate my drinking too, but always failed. It's easier for me to just not drink at all.

Dee74

Welcome RedFox

let us know how the counselling goes

MelindaFlowers

Hey Redfox,

There were quite a few times I drank and did not get into trouble but there were also many times where a drink and got into trouble. There was no controlling it because once you start drinking your judgment goes away and then who knows what will happen? I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around some of the things I did in blackouts.

So I can relate to having the two personality thing. The problem was that my personality that wanted to drink large amounts of alcohol always get reappearing.

I also had my significant other threaten to leave many times. I would control my drinking for a while but then it would get out of control again and I would do something even worse than before and the threats would return.

I had to let go of the fantasy that I would ever be somebody that would go out and have two or three beers and be happy with that. Really the problem was that if I had two or three beers I was not happy or fulfilled with that amount. I would actually feel more agitated and actually angry after a few then I would if I had none at all.

So basically even if I tried to moderate it just would not of worked and would've made me feel worse than just being sober. If you haven't had a DUI or done anything really terrible yet then consider yourself ahead of the game. I was pretty close to complete disaster so I had no choice but to stop. Are you ready to stop drinking alcohol?

redfox15

Hi all, thanks for the good welcome.

I'm not ready to stop drinking all together yet; I am not sure if I need to. If I'm in a low risk environment e.g. dinner with certain friends, or family, at the airport (I travel frequently), I never feel any desire to drink more than one or two. Nor any anger/frustration at having to stop. What I want is to be able to apply this across my life.

I visited the councillor today, together with my GF. The screening tests did show I have a drinking problem, as expected, but also indicated very low dependence on alcohol. Based on these, the councillor thinks I should look at how I'm drinking, cutting back and attend some group classes. I'm happy to do all this.

I also got given some pamphlets now on cutting back and stopping all together. There seems to be some really good instruction on what low risk drinking is, and how to recognise this vs risky situations.

I'm going to stop drinking all together for a while (having not had a drink since one beer on Saturday). I'm not sure how long - maybe a week, two, a month or more. What I want to do is see how difficult it is, when I do feel the urge to drink etc. If I feel the want, I will then look at reintroducing low risk drinking, keeping a 'drink diary' etc. and see how I go.