Hi Everyone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 51
Hi Everyone
I've been a lurker on these forums since I first got sober earlier this year. It took a lot of work and treatment to stay away from alcohol for about four months. This forum was a great place to listen to people's stories and watch other people recovering over time.
But, last week, my wife went out of town. She'd been really supporting my recovery and was always quick to stomp out my dumb idea to maybe just have one beer or a sip of scotch at dinner. Once she wasn't there, that messed up part of my brain came back in full force. I convinced myself that I was totally healed and that the alcoholics I'd met over the past few months just couldn't handle themselves. I had stopped going to meetings a few weeks before that as well, which was probably a mistake. I got arrogant and actually resented all the people who had worked so hard to help me.
I bought a fifth of vodka, telling myself I'd drink it slowly and it would be gone before she got back. It was gone long before that, along with a few 6 packs and a pint of whiskey. And then it was back to the old habits even when she got back. Sneaking a few drinks, going overboard, and having her find my hangover corpse in the morning. She told me our marriage of over ten years was over; that she couldn't even remember who I was before I started drinking. It was the most heartbreaking moment in my life, even worse than the time I was hospitalized from drinking.
I convinced her to give me one more chance, but this is definitely it. If I don't turn this recovery into a lifelong commitment, I'm losing the most important person in my life. All because of an addiction. So I decided to take advantage of every possible option, including this one. I hope I'll be welcome in this community.
But, last week, my wife went out of town. She'd been really supporting my recovery and was always quick to stomp out my dumb idea to maybe just have one beer or a sip of scotch at dinner. Once she wasn't there, that messed up part of my brain came back in full force. I convinced myself that I was totally healed and that the alcoholics I'd met over the past few months just couldn't handle themselves. I had stopped going to meetings a few weeks before that as well, which was probably a mistake. I got arrogant and actually resented all the people who had worked so hard to help me.
I bought a fifth of vodka, telling myself I'd drink it slowly and it would be gone before she got back. It was gone long before that, along with a few 6 packs and a pint of whiskey. And then it was back to the old habits even when she got back. Sneaking a few drinks, going overboard, and having her find my hangover corpse in the morning. She told me our marriage of over ten years was over; that she couldn't even remember who I was before I started drinking. It was the most heartbreaking moment in my life, even worse than the time I was hospitalized from drinking.
I convinced her to give me one more chance, but this is definitely it. If I don't turn this recovery into a lifelong commitment, I'm losing the most important person in my life. All because of an addiction. So I decided to take advantage of every possible option, including this one. I hope I'll be welcome in this community.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family. 
I suggest posting in the Class of July thread in Newcomers. It's a good way to commit to sobriety and to make friends with others also getting sober this month.
We also have a 24 hour thread in Daily Support forum where you commit to 24 hours sober once a day.
I hope the support here can help you stay sober for good.
I suggest posting in the Class of July thread in Newcomers. It's a good way to commit to sobriety and to make friends with others also getting sober this month. We also have a 24 hour thread in Daily Support forum where you commit to 24 hours sober once a day.
I hope the support here can help you stay sober for good.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
You are most definitely welcome and I know you will find support here.
I came close to losing my family too, and I know it can feel hopeless and overwhelming, but you can do this.
Do you have a plan for recovery?
I came close to losing my family too, and I know it can feel hopeless and overwhelming, but you can do this.
Do you have a plan for recovery?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
A big welcome from me too StrongEnough
SR really helped me turn my life around - you've come to a good place
the July thread mentioned above is here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2015-a-6.html
D
SR really helped me turn my life around - you've come to a good place
the July thread mentioned above is here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2015-a-6.html
D
Formerly Ringthedoorbell
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 402
You are SO welcome here StrongEnough.
You will find many here with your same issues, and much wisdom and compassion.
Please read and post often, that really helps me a lot.
Best of luck to you....you can do it!
ODAAT
You will find many here with your same issues, and much wisdom and compassion.
Please read and post often, that really helps me a lot.
Best of luck to you....you can do it!
ODAAT
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hey strongenough, I can relate. Been through that, even PM me if you would like me to elaborate. This is where the rubber meets the road. I'm pretty sure you don't want to lose you wife, so its probably time to lose the booze...agree? You can do it. People here will help you.
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