EVERYBODY'S DRINKING.... but why?
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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EVERYBODY'S DRINKING.... but why?
Today I've had a lot of invites to parties, gatherings, BBQ's, bars....
It's the 4th of July weekend and people are back home for the holidays. They're off today. They've started partying early.
There's a food fest, a beer tent, fireworks, a parade.
My neighbor was toting a 36 pack to the truck with her five year old daughter. People are posting photos of their cocktails on social media.
It's a regular drunkfest!!!!
And while many of them won't get blackout drunk or rip-roaring buzzed.... many, many, many of them WILL essentially drink all weekend. And many of them WILL get blackout drunk. Some of them will get DUIs. Some of them will get in fights. Some of them will simply suffer massive hangovers for the next three days.
Even the ones who don't really drink that much will pour a few thousand extra calories down their throats.
Why?
To celebrate Independence?
How ironic..... these celebrants so dependent upon a chemical to have a good time, celebrating their "independence" under its influence.....
Happy SOBER 4th, everybody.
It's the 4th of July weekend and people are back home for the holidays. They're off today. They've started partying early.
There's a food fest, a beer tent, fireworks, a parade.
My neighbor was toting a 36 pack to the truck with her five year old daughter. People are posting photos of their cocktails on social media.
It's a regular drunkfest!!!!
And while many of them won't get blackout drunk or rip-roaring buzzed.... many, many, many of them WILL essentially drink all weekend. And many of them WILL get blackout drunk. Some of them will get DUIs. Some of them will get in fights. Some of them will simply suffer massive hangovers for the next three days.
Even the ones who don't really drink that much will pour a few thousand extra calories down their throats.
Why?
To celebrate Independence?
How ironic..... these celebrants so dependent upon a chemical to have a good time, celebrating their "independence" under its influence.....
Happy SOBER 4th, everybody.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Reminds me of St Patrick's day here, the alcohol companies have sewn up every holiday event on the calendar, the marketing money has convinced everyone that without alcohol and getting absolutely hammered that you'll not be having a good time!!
That's what we're up against to get Sober, but I'm glad to say it can be done!!
That's what we're up against to get Sober, but I'm glad to say it can be done!!
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
While the rest of the world is doing whatever
they want to do to celebrate our 4th of July,
I don't let it bother me because it isn't my place
to take other folks inventory.
In kindness and keeping the meaning of
the 4th in mind, I just go about my business,
smile, nod, be courteous, polite, and do
our own thing here.
In fact we are heading to the tattoo shop
tomorrow for my new tattoo for a few hours
then head home to watch some golf and eat
ice cream if I don't get to it first tonight.
I don't worry about the why's any longer
because im only capable of taking care of
me and that's about all I can handle at the
moment.
Happy sober or clean 4th for all.
they want to do to celebrate our 4th of July,
I don't let it bother me because it isn't my place
to take other folks inventory.
In kindness and keeping the meaning of
the 4th in mind, I just go about my business,
smile, nod, be courteous, polite, and do
our own thing here.
In fact we are heading to the tattoo shop
tomorrow for my new tattoo for a few hours
then head home to watch some golf and eat
ice cream if I don't get to it first tonight.
I don't worry about the why's any longer
because im only capable of taking care of
me and that's about all I can handle at the
moment.
Happy sober or clean 4th for all.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Marketing plays a big part but i also agree with Sharon i dont ask why no more (as much lol) FO im with you on your train of thought but the diffrence is when the BBQ is over id go home and continue drinking then id be drinking night after night day after day till the next BBQ i dont think most of these ppl at said BBQ would drink the same as us there may be some but % wise its going to small i doubt it would even account for 10 % of ppl at said BBQ and thats the diffrence .... i think
But like Sharon said its a job keeping myself sober nevermind worrying about ppl who wouldnt want to hear it
Good thought provoking post FreeOwl
But like Sharon said its a job keeping myself sober nevermind worrying about ppl who wouldnt want to hear it
Good thought provoking post FreeOwl
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
yessir.... well my post wasn't meant to judge people or take their inventory.
for me, this train of thought is just how I look at what's going on in the world around me, more and more. I honestly see loads and loads of people drinking in ways that - while they are not alcoholic necessarily - are just plain destructive to what I'd like my life to be about. How many times have I myself been that guy who didn't get blackout drunk - but still had 8 beers or so throughout the course of a day and because of all that beer ate more than I should have and because of that beer didn't go do active things I love...
It's useful for me to look at these very real examples all around me and see how even those who are not 'problem drinkers' still allow drinking to take a priority. Because when I look at it that way, I can see pretty clearly that even IF I could 'drink normally' - 'normally' would still be out of alignment with my preferred experience of life.
I do believe that great swaths of our country and indeed our world make alcohol far too high a priority. At holidays, it is glaringly obvious. Maybe you're right about the 10% being "like us"..... but from what I observe there's probably another 40-60% who are not "like us" but are still not at all "moderate". And it kind of makes me sad for them, but it mostly helps reinforce my own sobriety. The WHY? Well... asking why still helps me see why... and seeing why still helps me stay sober.
for me, this train of thought is just how I look at what's going on in the world around me, more and more. I honestly see loads and loads of people drinking in ways that - while they are not alcoholic necessarily - are just plain destructive to what I'd like my life to be about. How many times have I myself been that guy who didn't get blackout drunk - but still had 8 beers or so throughout the course of a day and because of all that beer ate more than I should have and because of that beer didn't go do active things I love...
It's useful for me to look at these very real examples all around me and see how even those who are not 'problem drinkers' still allow drinking to take a priority. Because when I look at it that way, I can see pretty clearly that even IF I could 'drink normally' - 'normally' would still be out of alignment with my preferred experience of life.
I do believe that great swaths of our country and indeed our world make alcohol far too high a priority. At holidays, it is glaringly obvious. Maybe you're right about the 10% being "like us"..... but from what I observe there's probably another 40-60% who are not "like us" but are still not at all "moderate". And it kind of makes me sad for them, but it mostly helps reinforce my own sobriety. The WHY? Well... asking why still helps me see why... and seeing why still helps me stay sober.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I used to think the exact same freeowl i really did i can guarentee as time goes on your opinion will change
I never used to classify alcoholism as a disease i do now & that was recently too
I used to think there was a much higher number of alcoholics rather than the 10% i used to say the whole world was alcoholic but in reality thats completly false
I still occasionally have the thoughts your having now but in reality there is alcoholic & non alcoholic and we are of a small % (i cant believe im the one saying this if you asked me a year ago there would be a diffrent answer)
I dont think binge drinking is the same as alcoholic drinking binges stop after a weekend an alcoholic can go year round (not that i was happy about that tho)
I never used to classify alcoholism as a disease i do now & that was recently too
I used to think there was a much higher number of alcoholics rather than the 10% i used to say the whole world was alcoholic but in reality thats completly false
I still occasionally have the thoughts your having now but in reality there is alcoholic & non alcoholic and we are of a small % (i cant believe im the one saying this if you asked me a year ago there would be a diffrent answer)
I dont think binge drinking is the same as alcoholic drinking binges stop after a weekend an alcoholic can go year round (not that i was happy about that tho)
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
WHY? Why do they drink so much? Because many of them have untreated alcoholism and I DO really believe that!
When I relapsed last year people came out of the woodwork that I would say qualify for AA, treatment, SR or whatever. I started drinking again and all of a sudden all of the drunks came out to play (drink) with me. 95% of them drank more than me and many would drink ALL day. When I told them I was an alcoholic and wanted to stop they said "are you kidding me? You are NOT an alcoholic! We drink WAY more than you!" Well, DUH! A few of the girls were even bragging about being "functioning alcoholics". What in the hell is a "functioning" alcoholic?
I AM an alcoholic! I have zero doubt! Just clarifying that to my AV. Haha
I'm glad I'm not drinking this year. It is NOT fun!!! It's just NOT!
Thanks for the post!!!
When I relapsed last year people came out of the woodwork that I would say qualify for AA, treatment, SR or whatever. I started drinking again and all of a sudden all of the drunks came out to play (drink) with me. 95% of them drank more than me and many would drink ALL day. When I told them I was an alcoholic and wanted to stop they said "are you kidding me? You are NOT an alcoholic! We drink WAY more than you!" Well, DUH! A few of the girls were even bragging about being "functioning alcoholics". What in the hell is a "functioning" alcoholic?
I AM an alcoholic! I have zero doubt! Just clarifying that to my AV. Haha
I'm glad I'm not drinking this year. It is NOT fun!!! It's just NOT!
Thanks for the post!!!
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I hear ya, soberwolf.
Maybe it's just my community. Maybe it's just my friends?
I don't know. But I can tell you that if you asked me to go and round you up two dozen people who would be drinking two dozen or more alcoholic beverages over the next few days - I could have you a crowd in 30 minutes or less.
Is that "normal"? Is that "alcoholic"?
I guess I can't say either way but what I AM saying is that I'm grateful I'm drinking lemon-lime-and-mint sparkling water and that even if I COULD just drink two dozen beers over the next three days without consequence - the consequence of missing out on life by even two dozen beers over three days isn't something I accept.
Maybe it's just my community. Maybe it's just my friends?
I don't know. But I can tell you that if you asked me to go and round you up two dozen people who would be drinking two dozen or more alcoholic beverages over the next few days - I could have you a crowd in 30 minutes or less.
Is that "normal"? Is that "alcoholic"?
I guess I can't say either way but what I AM saying is that I'm grateful I'm drinking lemon-lime-and-mint sparkling water and that even if I COULD just drink two dozen beers over the next three days without consequence - the consequence of missing out on life by even two dozen beers over three days isn't something I accept.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I promise you freeowl your mind will change with time i really did think exactly the same ask D he'l tell you the stuff i used to think its thanks to wise ppl like D & others that i have learnt this it came with time i honestly cant believe im actually writing this if you search my earlier threads im sure youl find threads exactly similar to this
I had a prohibition phase for at least 20 months of my sobriety then Iran went & opened 150 rehabs (you can get executed for drinking in Iran) & that was it i was like prohibition would do nothing esp when ppl are risking thier lives to drink
I have realised because of this thread how much stuff i view diffrently nearly 2 years in
On a sidenote the sky has just opened with lightning and its immense
All i can say is your thoughts will probably change as mine did as time goes on
i dont mean to sound rude btw i just remember thinking the exact same stuff
I had a prohibition phase for at least 20 months of my sobriety then Iran went & opened 150 rehabs (you can get executed for drinking in Iran) & that was it i was like prohibition would do nothing esp when ppl are risking thier lives to drink
I have realised because of this thread how much stuff i view diffrently nearly 2 years in
On a sidenote the sky has just opened with lightning and its immense
All i can say is your thoughts will probably change as mine did as time goes on
i dont mean to sound rude btw i just remember thinking the exact same stuff
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
One of the things I've noticed in my more recent sobriety (a little over two years) is that what appears to be a drunk fest isn't always that. I've observed that often on a holiday weekend I'll see people loading up car boots with boxes of beer or wine, taking them home or to places and then not necessarily consuming very much at all.
Because I'm sober at the end of gatherings I'm noticing that very often eskies and fridges are still relatively full -- probably because my own snout isn't in the trough these days.
Be careful of imagining that everyone is out there drinking until the bar is dry, have a look at what everyone is actually doing, many of them are not only sober after a drink or two, many don't even start. And don't forget that a huge percentage of the population aren't even going to drunk fests, they are the people out enjoying themselves.
Because I'm sober at the end of gatherings I'm noticing that very often eskies and fridges are still relatively full -- probably because my own snout isn't in the trough these days.
Be careful of imagining that everyone is out there drinking until the bar is dry, have a look at what everyone is actually doing, many of them are not only sober after a drink or two, many don't even start. And don't forget that a huge percentage of the population aren't even going to drunk fests, they are the people out enjoying themselves.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
People loves to get high from time to time to have some fun. Yea, many of those people at those 4th of July parties have alcohol problems but its not my place to judge them for there acting. The only person I can control is myself.
Before I had a drinking problem, I would have fun being buzz. It would get me loosen up and feel free. Now I would get drunk or stay drunk for days if I start. I try not think about it too much because I will tell myself it's okay if you have a few.
Also think you are focusing too much on only the people who are drinking alcohol. You will see a lot of other people who don't drink at those parties too.
Before I had a drinking problem, I would have fun being buzz. It would get me loosen up and feel free. Now I would get drunk or stay drunk for days if I start. I try not think about it too much because I will tell myself it's okay if you have a few.
Also think you are focusing too much on only the people who are drinking alcohol. You will see a lot of other people who don't drink at those parties too.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Good thread. I must agree with serenidad about many people being alcoholics but don't realize it. It completely escapes them. The other thing I believe contributes is corporatism. Let's face it, beer commercials are everywhere. The business of alcohol is huge and there are many casualties. As far as Holiday's, heck its just a time for people to blow off steam. Its an age old tradition and frankly I don't see much wrong with it. To each his own.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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There are several hundred people here right now that are not drinking. I spent the afternoon with my family doing things around the house, went for a hike and did some shopping, and at no point did I see anyone drinking.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Brasil
Posts: 613
Very few people at parties drank like I used to drink. And I'm sure they would not get drunk so often as I did, or care about booze so much as I did.
Its not my business really, I leave early when I go to parties now. Drunk people talking are annoying as hell.
Its not my business really, I leave early when I go to parties now. Drunk people talking are annoying as hell.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
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I'll admit that I get frustrated with how prevalent alcohol and drinking is on holidays. I was just looking at a friend's facebook page today with pictures of people on the river in Austin, Texas, literally hundreds of people drinking beer on innertubes and boats.
I've come to accept though that there is a certain type of person who can party it up and drink heavily on holiday weekends and then hang it up til the next holiday weekend a few months later.
My brother is one of these people. He is a "guy's guy" and "gets his drink on" probably three to four times a year. He's a family man and only does it when camping with the guys, the beach, whatever. You could probably count the number of times he drinks per year on two hands. Two to three of those times are heavy drinking sessions.
I used to wish I was one of those people that could "enjoy" partying a few times a year but I'm just a bird of a different feather.
On a sad note, I saw today a posting about a young (maybe 23) handsome guy who died at an outdoor festival, drinking in the hot sun and he died of dehydration. So even for the holiday warriors, drinking is still really dangerous.
I really just don't like alcohol for anybody.
I've come to accept though that there is a certain type of person who can party it up and drink heavily on holiday weekends and then hang it up til the next holiday weekend a few months later.
My brother is one of these people. He is a "guy's guy" and "gets his drink on" probably three to four times a year. He's a family man and only does it when camping with the guys, the beach, whatever. You could probably count the number of times he drinks per year on two hands. Two to three of those times are heavy drinking sessions.
I used to wish I was one of those people that could "enjoy" partying a few times a year but I'm just a bird of a different feather.
On a sad note, I saw today a posting about a young (maybe 23) handsome guy who died at an outdoor festival, drinking in the hot sun and he died of dehydration. So even for the holiday warriors, drinking is still really dangerous.
I really just don't like alcohol for anybody.
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Join Date: May 2014
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Whether the original post was intended to take inventory or not, that's certainly what it seems to be. Boozin', for many people, is a part of life, ranging from occasional indulgence, to livelihood, to way of life. Screaming "BRAINWASHED!" or lamenting why others do what they do precludes me from dealing with the primary source of my drinking problem, which, weirdly enough, happens to be me.
Today, I own my choice not to drink, as well as to own my choice to purpose my day and my perception around a couple things:
1) I have no business examining other people's lives or playing the victim.
2) When I start to examine other people's habits, drinking or otherwise, I need to refer to #1.
The evidence you present is anecdotal, which I certainly relate to. But I also own the lense I'm looking through as well. I don't like seeing nothing but booze? Time to change my lense, maybe work at seeing things as they really are, rather than how.my addiction can color things when I let it.
My activities tomorrow morning are centered around veterans' stuff. Being a Navy veteran, Independence Day has a deep meaning to me, regardless of my alcoholism. After that, BBQ, baseball, fireworks, etc...people may be drinking, they may not. If someone is too soused, I plan to refer to point #1 and adjust accordingly.
My business is MY business. Someone else's business is NOT my business.
"Always Believe!" -The Ultimate Warrior
Today, I own my choice not to drink, as well as to own my choice to purpose my day and my perception around a couple things:
1) I have no business examining other people's lives or playing the victim.
2) When I start to examine other people's habits, drinking or otherwise, I need to refer to #1.
The evidence you present is anecdotal, which I certainly relate to. But I also own the lense I'm looking through as well. I don't like seeing nothing but booze? Time to change my lense, maybe work at seeing things as they really are, rather than how.my addiction can color things when I let it.
My activities tomorrow morning are centered around veterans' stuff. Being a Navy veteran, Independence Day has a deep meaning to me, regardless of my alcoholism. After that, BBQ, baseball, fireworks, etc...people may be drinking, they may not. If someone is too soused, I plan to refer to point #1 and adjust accordingly.
My business is MY business. Someone else's business is NOT my business.
"Always Believe!" -The Ultimate Warrior
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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Lots of good and interesting points here... thanks for sharing all!
Maybe my 'mind will change'. Maybe I'm "taking inventory" and just don't see it.
Maybe I'm just having trouble expressing what I'm trying to express.
I went to a dinner party last night. Everyone there was drinking. None of them drank to excess. But ALL of them had at least 2 drinks. A few had 5. Next door was a bar. A dozen of my high school classmates were there on the patio. They'd included me on a facebook invitation earlier in the day. They were drinking there from 4pm and had plans to go to several other bars - and drink all night.
When I see these things, what I used to see was fun. Now what I'm seeing is a curiosity and a gratitude. Curiosity that so many people do in fact spend so much time drinking. Gratitude that I'm not.
Maybe my 'mind will change'. Maybe I'm "taking inventory" and just don't see it.
Maybe I'm just having trouble expressing what I'm trying to express.
I went to a dinner party last night. Everyone there was drinking. None of them drank to excess. But ALL of them had at least 2 drinks. A few had 5. Next door was a bar. A dozen of my high school classmates were there on the patio. They'd included me on a facebook invitation earlier in the day. They were drinking there from 4pm and had plans to go to several other bars - and drink all night.
When I see these things, what I used to see was fun. Now what I'm seeing is a curiosity and a gratitude. Curiosity that so many people do in fact spend so much time drinking. Gratitude that I'm not.
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