sunny34

I am happy and sad all at the same time. I use to love July fourth, family time and fireworks are huge to me. We always had a family tradition of spending it with my AH' s family and that was fun until the past 5 or so years and he has ruined every one of them either from drinking or being mad at one person or another. He doesn't seem to really like the fireworks and I am always his designated driver while he drinks himself crazy.
This year will be different. I am driving 3 hours away to spend it with my kids. I am really looking forward to this time with them and will do my best not to worry about him. I am so thankful that in the morning he has a dental appointment so is unable to travel with me as he has now been talking of changing his plans and going there with me so that we can be back by the fourth and spend it with his family. I really hope he does not show up at the kid's because I do not want to spend it with him He ruins every holiday for me. If it weren't for this dental appointment he would ruin my fourth again.
I am so tired of his craziness.

I currently have job applications in where my kids live and plan to relocate as soon as something goes through. I hope and pray I can find work before my son (16) starts school. I currently have him staying at his sisters because things are not going well between him and his AD. AH and son have been getting along a lot better since he is out of the house but I know from past experience that it will be back to the same thing within a couple of days to a week. I need to get my son more help and keep him out of the house with the AH and hopefully he can learn to deal with the anger he has built up about his dad. I really thought I was doing the right thing keeping my family together but now that I have 2 grown children who both have problems and a teenager that has problems I see how wrong I was.

I don't know why I am here and writing all of this except that I am alone with no friends and I just feel the need to let it out sometimes. Everyone here has so much wisdom and you guys always make me feel better like maybe I'm not as crazy as I feel.

happybeingme

You are smart for making plans. Good for you. I would tell your husband you don't want to spend the holiday with him. Have a nice long weekend with your kids

sunny34

I am so glad I am leaving. He is suppose to be finishing paperwork before we leave work because we are off for the holiday tomorrow. I keep hearing loud talking and laughing and I look out the window and him and all the workers have chairs pulled up in a circle and they are all drinking bottles of beer. The weekend hasn't even begun and he is already drinking. A couple more hours and my journey begins. I am getting excited to be out of here for a few days. My son (16) called and ask me if I could come there tonight instead of tomorrow so that is what I am going to do.
I cannot believe he is already drinking. Ugh

SeriousKarma

Hi Sunny, It sounds like it's time for you start a new tradition for the fourth. Whether or not your AH tags along, I hope you have a great time with your kids.

I'm curious, does your AH know that you don't want him to go to with you, and the reason?