babybingo

I'm interested to know about people's journeys to sobriety. I've been drinking too much steadily for years. I have a few days off, then I 'itch' to return to it. But recently that's been changing. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and I'm thinking about the bigger picture about my future.

So my question is:
1. Did you make the decision to quit immediately and that was it? (like a switch going off)
2. Did you try multiple times to quit but fail and eventually find a way to stay sober?
3. Did your attitude to drinking change and it lose its appeal perhaps?
4. Or was it a different way?

This week I had 3 nights without drinking. Last night I drank a bit but not much. I don't feel the desire to drink today because it wasn't very exciting last night and I think I ought to look after myself more.
Sorry if this has been covered before but I'm just interested if anyone else has felt like I do now and managed to stay with it.
thanks!

Dee74

Hi babybingo

I went back to drinking many times, but looking back I was really looking for a way to drink 'responsibly'.

As my drinking had never been responsible, I never found it.

Coming here to SR and accepting that not drinking was the change I needed, everything has been great...it's not always easy, especially in the early days but stick with it - it just keeps getting better and better really

D

walktheline1

I'm 27 and have been sober for 3 extended periods since I was in my teens. The first one was 6-8 months in my early 20's and it was purely for athletic performance. It didn't stick. The second one was 1 year in my 24-25s and it was for a girl. We broke up and I started drinking again. This time it's only been a week, but I'm doing it for myself. Hopefully it'll stick this time with some added tools. I have a different goal this time, a different attitude, and I'm looking at alcohol as an allergen instead of as a drink. I have no problem not eating shellfish cause I get sick, why should alcohol be any different?

Also, every time I've mulled it over and mulled it over, and then finally one night or one hangover just threw me over the edge and I get rid of all my booze and decide to make the change.

There is no one right answer for sobriety. I think you gotta just try it and find what works for you. Do whatever you have to do to stay sober.

IOAA2

Hi.

At a “certain” time I was ready to stop. The pain and misery indicated alcohol was not a health drink for me.
I and many need help staying stopped and AA was the only recovery in place which has helped many millions to this day.

In the first couple weeks it was tough work and changes were required to gain sobriety like being honest with myself about mu drinking and accepting the fact I could no longer drink in safety one day at a time in a row.
Once we stop we get better and better and better and………..

BE WELL

lighter

1. no
2. Yes
3. No and yes.
4. I guess I gave up three times. First time because it interfered with my degree, and I started again after. Second time because I kept on getting in fights. Third time I gave up for myself.

None of the times I admitted to myself I was an alcoholic. Only happened a couple of years after I quit.

Tumble

I'm still confused about my drinking. Like you me and oh drink wine together at night. It's our time!

I've started to change my drinking habits as started with the anxiety and panic attacks. I try not to drink to much anymore and have to really control myself at weekends. What I also found is I got really hung up and scared about withdrawals. This has made me not drink and also drink.

Mark1014

1. I knew for a long long time that I had an increasingly bad relationship with drinking (I'm 48). The switch didn't flip because of one particular episode....just the accumulation of far far too many days lost in the bottle.
2. I tried many times to cut back and many times to quit that resulted in failure.
3. At around 7 or 8 months of sobriety I started losing that feeling that I was really missing out on things because I don't drink. So now at nine months, on more days than not I really embrace the gift of sobriety and don't view it as something I have to endure like I did earlier on. I have a growing disdain for the place alcohol holds in the world.

I don't know for sure why I've had longer term success this time. Part of it has been finding SR. My perspective continues to evolve and takes me further and further from my old life.

Wishing you all the best...

Saskia

1 and 2. I'm 70 and have been an off and on drinker since I was 20. I was able to quit immediately several times until this last one. About 4 years ago when I had been sober for 13 years, I had ONE glass of wine. That led to 3 years of gradually increasing drinking. I tried to stop many times but didn't succeed until I did a full court press: SR, AA, IOP, therapist. I've been sober now for almost 11 months (with one brief slip).

3 and 4. No - I became very frightened for my health and was tired of feeling so awful about myself.

Best thing I ever did for myself was to invest the time and energy into making my alcoholism my complete focus for a number of months. It's still a very high priority!

lakeofglitter

Hi,
I had many periods of sobriety all my life (I'm 50). I quit for relationships, jobs, moves, health, etc. Yet I always returned to abusing alcohol eventually.
My "moment" happened when I realized that I spent my life running...running away from myself and always looking for external factors to make me well. Kinda like a drug.
I had to stop and learn to be okay with me. The good, the bad and the ugly. I'm seven months sober now. I discovered that drinking was the solution...not the problem. I had to fix "me".

Ultramarathoner

1. Yes.

2. I failed at reducing my drinking multiple times but only made the decision to become alcohol free once.

3. My attitude changed in conjunction with a health issue (non alcohol related). The event made me question and helped me clarify the life I wanted to live and the legacy I wanted to leave.

Thirdwave

Hi All,

I quit when my "private personal" problem became external and a problem for my family. While i was still able to hide and (somewhat) control and conceal my addiction i was prepared to let it continue in the dark. I probably would never had quit if it were for my sake only. But because of some extremely irresponsible things i did while drunk my family came into the situation. Fortunately they entered with love and care. I quit because i could not look my beautiful wife and children in the eyes and lie to them any longer.

I quit because i couldn't deal with my preoccupation for alcohol in any and all events and at all times. A day at a the beach, shopping with my wife, working in the yard the constant voice (AV) in my head was to get a drink, guzzle it and then try to act normal so that nobody would notice. Got sick and tired of that and then when my problem became exposed i had to admit to my family that it was out of control. Only then when i brought others in did i take seriously the desire to be sober.

Wishing you the best Baby, if i can do it and 100's of others on SR can do it so can you. Stay Strong

Blessings,

esoxlucius

49, nearly 5 months sober, longest time since I was 18.

1. No, just kept trying and trying (i.e. not giving up on giving up)
2. As above, tried many many times to give up or cut down, all ended in failure. We are talking hundreds of times over the past decade plus.
3. Now it is losing its appeal and urges are rare. Very conscious that I could be struck by a powerful urge at any time so not complacent.
4. Conscious of the fact that I tried to learn from every failure and finally (touch wood) the accumulated learnings have got me further than ever before. I believe that learning from failures play a huge role and isn't automatic.

Saskia

Baby bingo, thank you for this thread! Reading these incredible and honest responses is both inspiring and humbling.

babybingo

I think it is fascinating to read everyone's responses. It makes me feel happier to know that different people have tried different approaches and been successful. Thank you all for your replies so far- it's really helpful.

FreeOwl

I didn't reach sobriety.

I reached FOR it, and embraced it, and every day I make that choice again.

I became a sober person by choosing to be a sober person and working at it. I became a sober person by consciously being focused on being a sober person - every day.

I chose to see sobriety as a good thing, not a punishment. That part took me a while. I tried sobriety once, relapsed, then made the choice to really embrace it.

Before that.... I'd made many half-hearted attempts at limiting my drinking and even a few at staying sober - for a while. But it wasn't until I really and truly, deeply and fully decided to embrace sobriety that I was able to remain sober.

I don't think it's a destination we reach.

I think it's a lifestyle we reach for, embrace, and work to maintain.

ElleDee

Hi...

I am the Queen of Relapse. Probably because I didn't really want to quit. I stopped many times. I didn't really "try" because as soon as that first urge hit again I was running to the liquor store.

I finally had to do something. My health was suffering. Mentally I couldn't take the anxiety anymore and it was taking a toll on my liver. I'm a diabetic and the alcohol totally messes with my blood glucose. Also, I have to admit, it wasn't that much "fun" anymore.

It's been almost 6 months and sometimes I miss it or I think I miss it. But I know it won't be the same if I pick up again.

DoubleDragons

1. I didn't make the decision to quit immediately. I spent years trying to moderate or change my drinking patterns to keep alcohol in my life. It never occurred to me to quit drinking all together until I saw a family member fall down hard from her drinking problem. I saw too many parallels between my drinking and hers and that is when it finally dawned on me that "no alcohol" was a choice I could make, as well. When I started sobriety, my idea was to give sobriety "a long term try" so that I could make a truly fair comparison of the drinking life versus the sober one. A few months into it, it was undeniable that the sober life was a better one, in every which way.

2. My first attempt at sobriety was 9/29/13. I have been sober ever since. I relied very heavily on SR, books that made sense to me, meditation and my spirituality and the support of my husband and family.

3. My attitude has changed completely about alcohol. Having grown up in a heavy drinking later alcoholic home, my opinions were so skewed towards drinking. I honestly believed everyone drank every day and that it was a normal part of life. When the veil, was lifted I saw that most people don't drink that much at all and I find myself feeling sorry for those people who are ingrained in the drinking life. Jason Vale's book really helped me to see drinking alcohol in a whole other logical light.

4. Mostly my desire to drink has dissipated. I still occasionally get winsome at certain trigger times, like holidays or outings where I typically would have drank with friends. However, after the short-lived desire goes away, I am always proud and incredibly relieved that I didn't drink. I love my sober self. I am proud of her. I feel authentic for the first time in my life and I am in my forties. I will be sober for two years at the end of September.

babybingo

'I love my sober self. I am proud of her. I feel authentic for the first time in my life'

DoubleDragons I think I need to adopt this as my own personal motto in life!
thanks!

ArtFriend

Good questions!

zjw

years ago i had a 30 day stretch to prove I didnt have a drinking problem. Then i had a drink with dinner one evening then another and was buying a 6 pack on the way home and picked up right where i left off and drank like a fish daily for years after.

Finally i had panic attacks all the time they got so bad i decided to quit thinking maybe it would work. I tapered off and Have not relapsed ::knock on wood::

I only quit becuase of the panic attacks. But in time I realized many more benefits to being sober.