I Don't Fit In: Here, There or Anywhere
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Sorry, Stratman! Perhaps a counselor could help? Until I dealt with a lot of old stuff from way back I usually felt like an outsider. Once I worked through that old stuff (definitely not an instantaneous process), I found myself enjoying being around people and feeling much more comfortable in my skin.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 562
I think you got a lot on your plate right now if I remember correctly. We all fit in somewhere......there are 5 billion people in this world. Focus on your goal. Distract yourself w something you like to do. Go for a ride.....get some ice cream.....feel the fresh breeze against your skin........breathe in breathe out.......breathe in breathe out......relax.....
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Hey Strat, I think you fit in right well on these forums -- always have thought so & still do. We're all oddballs here, no discriminating 
Just stay sober & I think you'll find a comfortable place. Better than under a bottle.
Just stay sober & I think you'll find a comfortable place. Better than under a bottle.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
One of my favorite lines,"90% of the people don't care about me, 5% of of the people don't like me, and 5% do." I don't worry about the 95% but I spend a lot of time developing relationships with the 5%
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,357
Everyone's a type.
I really enjoy your posts and especially the music you choose.
That feeling that I didn't belong was at the core of my self loathing. That was something I picked up from being treated the way I was growing up. It wasn't reality, just a old crack in the lens.
I really enjoy your posts and especially the music you choose.
That feeling that I didn't belong was at the core of my self loathing. That was something I picked up from being treated the way I was growing up. It wasn't reality, just a old crack in the lens.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Hey guys, thanks a lot. Not just about the board here but sometimes in general, a bit of a round peg in a square hole I am. F it, looks like I will have to expand a bit and probably a lot because it hasn't always always been this way (or has it? Bit of both). About the board: totally grateful I am. I have learned so much just from reading about things and also got a lot of good advice and support around really important stuff. And felt it was ok to open up a bit, or a lot. I know myself I have made good progress, I was in a state and it didn't happen overnight it was a very long progression. It hasn't been all smooth sailing here either but hey, I'd rather be a skilled aul sailer than some jumped up yuppie with all the right equiptment who doesn't know what he's at? Lol ©
I dunno though, some days I think of loads of cool things that I want to post here, relevant things and also maybe funny or interesting but I try to hold back because I don't want to be P'n people off or forgetting the reason I am here. Which is about all the heavy drinking, the problems that come with it, and moreso the underlying causes (and cures for them) behind it. Because I don't get many replies sometimes (I have gotten sufficient help with my main problems so for me that is awesome) or many of those 'thanks' so I can't really figure out sometimes if I am just P'n people off? I'm a bit intense and fairly dynamic and always have been I do know that. And thats not a bad thing. I look at that Jake the Snake book sometimes and think OMG man, there are some seriously dull and inane people out there unfortunately. The stuff they go on with sometimes but hey. Instead of being annoyed about it, I just be thankful that I'm kinda not really that, it makes more sense right? I just need to find some healthier outlets for all of my twisted frustrations or work on finally resolving them all would be best.
I know its not a popularity contest here. I hate those, i.e the Fakebook again. I didn't play along with that for very long, I was 'winning' at it for a time when I did but I just can't stand all the fakery on there if I'm honest. Not everyone but a lot of fakers and *****'s are on there! Now granted, I was drunk but I a-sorta rebelled against that and I would say did a good i.e. bad job of it. I broke that F'n thing, at least for myself. And I managed to alienate myself and push all my friends and associates away. It wasn't all for devilment, there were some specific reasons for that (has to be?) and I would love to be to able to understand them better. A really mixed up time period for me in general, drinking non stop and taking everything I could get out there and find for myself. Everything. PTSD quite likely. That said, it's not a reflection on my friends or all the people I've met over the years or challenged to jousts online even but I absolutely do have more in common with the people on this board in general than anywhere else I have tried to put myself out there before (which is everywhere and anywhere at all). Ok, I'l leave that much as one post because that is only about the board here (phew!)
I dunno though, some days I think of loads of cool things that I want to post here, relevant things and also maybe funny or interesting but I try to hold back because I don't want to be P'n people off or forgetting the reason I am here. Which is about all the heavy drinking, the problems that come with it, and moreso the underlying causes (and cures for them) behind it. Because I don't get many replies sometimes (I have gotten sufficient help with my main problems so for me that is awesome) or many of those 'thanks' so I can't really figure out sometimes if I am just P'n people off? I'm a bit intense and fairly dynamic and always have been I do know that. And thats not a bad thing. I look at that Jake the Snake book sometimes and think OMG man, there are some seriously dull and inane people out there unfortunately. The stuff they go on with sometimes but hey. Instead of being annoyed about it, I just be thankful that I'm kinda not really that, it makes more sense right? I just need to find some healthier outlets for all of my twisted frustrations or work on finally resolving them all would be best.
I know its not a popularity contest here. I hate those, i.e the Fakebook again. I didn't play along with that for very long, I was 'winning' at it for a time when I did but I just can't stand all the fakery on there if I'm honest. Not everyone but a lot of fakers and *****'s are on there! Now granted, I was drunk but I a-sorta rebelled against that and I would say did a good i.e. bad job of it. I broke that F'n thing, at least for myself. And I managed to alienate myself and push all my friends and associates away. It wasn't all for devilment, there were some specific reasons for that (has to be?) and I would love to be to able to understand them better. A really mixed up time period for me in general, drinking non stop and taking everything I could get out there and find for myself. Everything. PTSD quite likely. That said, it's not a reflection on my friends or all the people I've met over the years or challenged to jousts online even but I absolutely do have more in common with the people on this board in general than anywhere else I have tried to put myself out there before (which is everywhere and anywhere at all). Ok, I'l leave that much as one post because that is only about the board here (phew!)
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 444
Stratman
Among many other qualities that come through in your posts, I find your absolute candor and honesty to be really refreshing. That is a gift you have.
How many of us haven't looked at our posts and wondered why nobody seemed to have looked at them? It's just insecurity as we open up and hope to fit in, to be of help etc... but you just laid your fears out there...
You are a refreshing soul and you are appreciated.
d
p.s. if someone would give me a little thumbs up I would really appreciate it!
Among many other qualities that come through in your posts, I find your absolute candor and honesty to be really refreshing. That is a gift you have.
How many of us haven't looked at our posts and wondered why nobody seemed to have looked at them? It's just insecurity as we open up and hope to fit in, to be of help etc... but you just laid your fears out there...
You are a refreshing soul and you are appreciated.
d
p.s. if someone would give me a little thumbs up I would really appreciate it
!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Hey Strat, I get paranoid on the boards sometimes too -- I'm sure I'm "ignored" by large swatches of the forums, and mocked in PMs, and routinely non-thanked. This isn't the place to keep yourself to yourself, tho. As long as your posts are recovery-oriented, and stand the chance to help you or someone who reads them quit or stay quit, then -- "it's all good"!
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
Most times I don't even feel like a square peg, and definitely feel,different from the other holes, and then well look at this bunch of misfits I keep coming back to. Like it or not Strat you're in
And I definitely get the sense that your posts are genuine Strat, and that is what really counts.
And I definitely get the sense that your posts are genuine Strat, and that is what really counts.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Lol Don. There are some funny cats and dogs on here I gotta say too
Good points guys. Yeah that was one of the first things I noticed about the boards was that hey, I can relate to a lot of this madness: from at home, and on the street, and in my head and that people here have been doing boatloads of d & d to both enjoy themselves and to deal with the stuff. I better suss this out for a file I might be in the right place for a change!
Definitely being honest and doing my best to be totally that, mores with myself than anyone else as thats where I was really running into trouble with myself in recenter years.
Good point too Courage. That is actually something I have been dealing with too over years but that I learned something about more recently. That, no matter what you do not everyone is going to be happy. Not every one is going to appreciate your style and profile so what can you do? What I learned recently was to just be yourself anyway! Because that is the only way you can do anything right. You can't 'angyify' everyone into seeing you in the proper light, or get onto every other person's specific level That you or not from for yourself the same reasons. Those are things I was trying out and going wrong with online when I was drinking tbh.
Good points guys. Yeah that was one of the first things I noticed about the boards was that hey, I can relate to a lot of this madness: from at home, and on the street, and in my head and that people here have been doing boatloads of d & d to both enjoy themselves and to deal with the stuff. I better suss this out for a file I might be in the right place for a change!
Definitely being honest and doing my best to be totally that, mores with myself than anyone else as thats where I was really running into trouble with myself in recenter years.
Good point too Courage. That is actually something I have been dealing with too over years but that I learned something about more recently. That, no matter what you do not everyone is going to be happy. Not every one is going to appreciate your style and profile so what can you do? What I learned recently was to just be yourself anyway! Because that is the only way you can do anything right. You can't 'angyify' everyone into seeing you in the proper light, or get onto every other person's specific level That you or not from for yourself the same reasons. Those are things I was trying out and going wrong with online when I was drinking tbh.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
stratman, If you notice my username you will see "II" at the end.
WHY? cuz I got so fed up with this place and feeling like I didn't belong and had NOTHING to offer I asked the mods to kill my account AND all my posts.
they did.
and whaddya know - here I am again. I have had posts deleted, given warnings by the mods, been called IN threads that I am cruel, mean, spiteful.
and at the same time I have had so many PMs thanking me for being straight up and blunt. and how they always look forward to my posts.
so here's what I know.....SPEAK YOUR TRUTH. don't try and defend what you say, just tell it from YOUR center, your heart.
you are a valued member of SR. your opinion/advice/story MATTERS. you totally fit in this band of misfits.
WHY? cuz I got so fed up with this place and feeling like I didn't belong and had NOTHING to offer I asked the mods to kill my account AND all my posts.
they did.
and whaddya know - here I am again. I have had posts deleted, given warnings by the mods, been called IN threads that I am cruel, mean, spiteful.
and at the same time I have had so many PMs thanking me for being straight up and blunt. and how they always look forward to my posts.
so here's what I know.....SPEAK YOUR TRUTH. don't try and defend what you say, just tell it from YOUR center, your heart.
you are a valued member of SR. your opinion/advice/story MATTERS. you totally fit in this band of misfits.
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