Lost again........
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Lost again........
♥ ♥ ♥ Live one day at a time, because tomorrow is not promised to us ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
¸.¸•:•.x°¤•¸(¯ `´•.¸¨:•.x¤º°°Hel lo to everyone ♥and kudos for all that are here! •´´¯)°°¤¸•:†¢.
I’m not an alcoholic but I have siblings who are two of which one is 16 years sober and one who is 6 months sober and one still in denial, a father that was and currently dating someone who is an admitted alcoholic and who also has admitted to me tonight the he will never go BACK to AA. I’m lost ……..and wondering how I got here with this man!? I know it is not where I want to be and began detaching myself from the pain and the emotional abuse he gives to me when I’m not around! It has become worse when I’m not around with the excessive phone calls, the accusations of me being with another man, the drive bys etc….I have dealt with the emotional abuse growing up and I have done the work to create a happy chaos free life for myself…..I have not experienced being involved to this degree with someone other than my family which I found easy to detach from! What can I do??? I agree to talk to him when he is sober and he falls back into that “comfort zone� and begins with the negative all over again! I like many like the sober man who is caring and loving not the drunk who is all about him and his own feelings. I know it is his disease but I’m drained and just want some kind of peace. One day it is “don’t leave me I will get help I know this is what I have to do if we are going to stay together� (his fear kicking in) and the next night it is the drunk who I just to do not like because it is then when I get the anger and pain projected onto me. “YOU do not give me enough attention, “YOU� do not give me what I need� YOU do not give me s*x, YOU do not give me this ….blah blah trying to put me on a guilt trip which never works!� When someone is drunk and this much I have learned it is all about them and when they are not it is part of the time about them! I feel that I have learned there is no reasoning just argument which I’m not in favor of!
How many chances can you give to someone before you just explode? I have so much going on in my life right now that I need to keep it chaos free over the next month but I feel that and know that I’m short changing myself by allowing myself to keep the peace with this person so that I do not hurt. Which I know is not right but as I said I’M LOST!
I grew up with not knowing much about the disease until my husband of only 3 months died(We both married at a young age to escape our homes of alcoholism-and we were in so much in love! High school sweethearts and best friends. We were bound to get married and wanted happiness and to be detached from the continual pain from our homes) and there was a point when I just could not take it anymore and I found myself for a week straight coming home and drinking myself to sleep now mind you I have never had a drinking problem other than that week and it is then that I began to say to myself hey what are you doing your hiding your pain and your putting yourself into more pain. It was as if I was trying to do what my siblings had done with their pain all those years (I was adopted too and not even blood related to them) and I knew that it was wrong but I was angry! I was so bloody angry at everyone and everything it was then when I landed in the hospital for swallowing pills that I hit my rock bottom and said NO MORE! I got help for all my anger that was pent up from even my childhood. I thank God for a lot of things I have in my life and I thank myself for seeing that wrong road that I was about to take which lead me to peace in my heart and new start on life. Although I miss my husband very much he would not want me to have lived my life the way I was leaning too in that short week. And I know he would not want me to be where I’m today! I have done so much work and have learned so much about this disease but never been actually involved to this degree with someone and I need help! I’m drained of the positive conversations that just end up the next day into battles or excessive phone calls with nasty accusing messages! I know that I have not done anything wrong and it is just his pain and anger that he is projecting onto me but I just do not know how to handle this! I was in counseling with a substance abuse counselor who has guided me while I did my work to be the person that I’ am today and I feel that I’m having the life sucked out of me! I know what I want I just do not know how to get there…..again!
I ‘m so proud of all of you that have chosen to come here and your choice to become sober! Please look to God as he is there to help guide you on your new journey into your new life of peace and happiness! God Bless and God speed ahead to all!
Sorry for the lengthy post! I just needed to VENT! Weather we are alcoholics or not in my case pain is pain and feelings are feelings and sometimes it just hurts no matter what the situation! No one’s pain is any different from the others-it is what is P-A-I-N…. My heart ♥ to all of you who have chosen the right path…it will get easier! Thank you for letting me share!
:sink
¸.¸•:•.x°¤•¸(¯ `´•.¸¨:•.x¤º°°Hel lo to everyone ♥and kudos for all that are here! •´´¯)°°¤¸•:†¢.
I’m not an alcoholic but I have siblings who are two of which one is 16 years sober and one who is 6 months sober and one still in denial, a father that was and currently dating someone who is an admitted alcoholic and who also has admitted to me tonight the he will never go BACK to AA. I’m lost ……..and wondering how I got here with this man!? I know it is not where I want to be and began detaching myself from the pain and the emotional abuse he gives to me when I’m not around! It has become worse when I’m not around with the excessive phone calls, the accusations of me being with another man, the drive bys etc….I have dealt with the emotional abuse growing up and I have done the work to create a happy chaos free life for myself…..I have not experienced being involved to this degree with someone other than my family which I found easy to detach from! What can I do??? I agree to talk to him when he is sober and he falls back into that “comfort zone� and begins with the negative all over again! I like many like the sober man who is caring and loving not the drunk who is all about him and his own feelings. I know it is his disease but I’m drained and just want some kind of peace. One day it is “don’t leave me I will get help I know this is what I have to do if we are going to stay together� (his fear kicking in) and the next night it is the drunk who I just to do not like because it is then when I get the anger and pain projected onto me. “YOU do not give me enough attention, “YOU� do not give me what I need� YOU do not give me s*x, YOU do not give me this ….blah blah trying to put me on a guilt trip which never works!� When someone is drunk and this much I have learned it is all about them and when they are not it is part of the time about them! I feel that I have learned there is no reasoning just argument which I’m not in favor of!
How many chances can you give to someone before you just explode? I have so much going on in my life right now that I need to keep it chaos free over the next month but I feel that and know that I’m short changing myself by allowing myself to keep the peace with this person so that I do not hurt. Which I know is not right but as I said I’M LOST!
I grew up with not knowing much about the disease until my husband of only 3 months died(We both married at a young age to escape our homes of alcoholism-and we were in so much in love! High school sweethearts and best friends. We were bound to get married and wanted happiness and to be detached from the continual pain from our homes) and there was a point when I just could not take it anymore and I found myself for a week straight coming home and drinking myself to sleep now mind you I have never had a drinking problem other than that week and it is then that I began to say to myself hey what are you doing your hiding your pain and your putting yourself into more pain. It was as if I was trying to do what my siblings had done with their pain all those years (I was adopted too and not even blood related to them) and I knew that it was wrong but I was angry! I was so bloody angry at everyone and everything it was then when I landed in the hospital for swallowing pills that I hit my rock bottom and said NO MORE! I got help for all my anger that was pent up from even my childhood. I thank God for a lot of things I have in my life and I thank myself for seeing that wrong road that I was about to take which lead me to peace in my heart and new start on life. Although I miss my husband very much he would not want me to have lived my life the way I was leaning too in that short week. And I know he would not want me to be where I’m today! I have done so much work and have learned so much about this disease but never been actually involved to this degree with someone and I need help! I’m drained of the positive conversations that just end up the next day into battles or excessive phone calls with nasty accusing messages! I know that I have not done anything wrong and it is just his pain and anger that he is projecting onto me but I just do not know how to handle this! I was in counseling with a substance abuse counselor who has guided me while I did my work to be the person that I’ am today and I feel that I’m having the life sucked out of me! I know what I want I just do not know how to get there…..again!
I ‘m so proud of all of you that have chosen to come here and your choice to become sober! Please look to God as he is there to help guide you on your new journey into your new life of peace and happiness! God Bless and God speed ahead to all!
Sorry for the lengthy post! I just needed to VENT! Weather we are alcoholics or not in my case pain is pain and feelings are feelings and sometimes it just hurts no matter what the situation! No one’s pain is any different from the others-it is what is P-A-I-N…. My heart ♥ to all of you who have chosen the right path…it will get easier! Thank you for letting me share!
:sink
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Rella-
Welcome I hear ya!!! Check out the adult children of alcoholics forum here theres lots of good info and also the family and friends of alcoholics forum. Read all the stickies and power post in those forums it will help you alot I think....
Welcome I hear ya!!! Check out the adult children of alcoholics forum here theres lots of good info and also the family and friends of alcoholics forum. Read all the stickies and power post in those forums it will help you alot I think....
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Thank you both! I have been there and will return again splendra! I have done my work for 5 years on the "child of alcoholic" but will always continue to do so....starting by returning to meetings! I guess the bottom line is that I know what I have to do it is just that I have never been involved in a relationship with a man and had to deal with this...it is scary and very difficult to handle. I feel that it is more of an emotional sprial than when it is your family-your family is always there-with this guy I do not know that I feel I even want to support him-it is sad but it is how I feel somedays! Right now I'm on my way down the shore to see him and talk AGAIN only I'm sure to have this blown up tonight when I'm home and he calls DRUNK! I do not know why I'm doing this to myself! I feel it is just being in fear of not knowing what he is going to do and what he may do to me if I walk away!
Thank you all! =) *Smile* Have a blessed day today!
Thank you all! =) *Smile* Have a blessed day today!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
