iamthird

STBAXH has not seen DD7 for 3 weeks and just shows up this morning out of nowhere. He did not want her on Father's Day. He has not paid. We are going to therapy to help DD7 deal with it (to which Dr invited him but did not show up). DD7 was standing right next to me when I answered the door so I let her say Hi and asked her to go upstairs.

Nothing has changed. He just wanted her because he wanted to see her. No care of what she has been going through the past few weeks. I shut the door in his face and told him he cannot come in and out of her life. I was so proud of myself! Normally I would give in and let him in and let him see her, come in and visit. Ugh! Felt SO good to be strong!!

Luckily, we have a therapy appt this morning to help deal with it. Day by day!!

FireSprite

GREAT JOB!!!!!!!

(And many, many (((((((hugs))))) for DD7, she must be so flipping confused!)

hopeful4

Good for you!

iamthird

Got back from therapy. He was so proud of me! I am so proud of myself!! I believe that the more and more I make choices like that, the happier will be!!

AnvilheadII

He did not want her on Father's Day

man stuff like that makes me think twice about my stance on gun ownership!!!! seriously....

i think you handled this situation with grace and calm, like a former ballerina turned traffic cop.

Refiner

You did GOOD!! How DARE him!! SHAME SHAME on him!!

Liveitwell

My ex is the same way-all about him, look at me, etc. Not one clue or care about how he has hurt abd scared her with his disgusting behavior and words. It's all about "I want to see my child". Disgusting. Anyway, sorry for the tangent-stuff with kids just really gets to me!!!! You did so well-keep fighting for your child's best interest!!!

iamthird

I used to always let him come back into DD7 life on a promise. It was SO hard to shut the door literally, but I kept remembering the therapist telling me how I had contributed to the ride my daughter has gone through because I have made it easy for him in the past. I am sure I could have let him in and they would have had a nice visit but I fast forward to after when he leaves, how she would be left wondering when he will see her again, etc...I thought of her little face and how she cried when he said he did not want to come to her therapy session when she asked him to.

It really does feel so good to make the right choices for DD7 and myself.

LexieCat

GREAT job! I know it was tough, but you are getting SO much stronger!

Very, very proud of you!

iamthird

STBAXH sent me all these emails asking what he needs to do in order to get back into DD7's life. I actually let therapist read them. Therapist(who is referral from my divorce attorney) offered to have him attend DD7's next session. STBXAH replied he would attend Wednesday's session.

By the end of the evening yesterday he emailed me saying he would not come to DD7's Wednesday session and still had work to do in his "recovery" which consists of 3 meetings per week which he has been doing since January with 2 relapses I know of.

He felt like he needed to see DD7 so bad he ambushes me at home and wants back into her life so he asks and I say he can come to session for a starting point and now he makes an excuse why he cannot do that all in the same day? Nothing has changed, still fickle...now just pertaining to DD7, not our marriage.

Just annoyed. But so glad I never let him in my house yesterday. Just reaffirms my decision not to let him in.

Liveitwell

You did the right thing-he is still all talk, no action. Words don't mean anything.