Im sorry...
Im sorry...
I'm sorry to the people I've hurt through the years with my drinking. I'm sorry to my mother who worries so much about me when she knows that I'm out drinking. I'm sorry to the random people I've annoyed at bars whole being intoxicated. I'm sorry to the women I've dated over the years who cared deeply about me and watched me drink away the relationship.... I've always been told that I'm a fun person to go drink with because I know how to have a good time the problem is the guilt, remorse and shame the next day from not knowing what I did or who I talked to and who might've seen me in a drunken stupor... I don't want to be the fun drunk anymore... Anybody else ever wake up terrified the next morning of what happened the night before?... Sorry for the long post just needed to get it out there... Thanks for reading
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
I've been told the same, that I'm fun to go out with.
But just like you, the anxiety the day following a blackout is horrific. Trying to piece together the night with receipts, credit card records, random crap I bought at a bodega, etc. I'm right there with you with feeling horrible the day after, wondering what I said, what I'd done, and who saw me. Knock on wood, nothing truly horrible ever happened, but lots of crap did.
I'm now sober for 130 of the last 131 days and 19 weekends in a row. I can't express enough how big a relief it is never dealing with the worry of drinking. As someone who just binged, I didn't ever have physical withdrawals and while hangovers could get bad, the mental anguish from the guilt was so much worse.
But just like you, the anxiety the day following a blackout is horrific. Trying to piece together the night with receipts, credit card records, random crap I bought at a bodega, etc. I'm right there with you with feeling horrible the day after, wondering what I said, what I'd done, and who saw me. Knock on wood, nothing truly horrible ever happened, but lots of crap did.
I'm now sober for 130 of the last 131 days and 19 weekends in a row. I can't express enough how big a relief it is never dealing with the worry of drinking. As someone who just binged, I didn't ever have physical withdrawals and while hangovers could get bad, the mental anguish from the guilt was so much worse.
Thanks everybody reading your replies lets me know that there is a life without alcohol... For some reason imagining going to events barbecues concerts etc. and not drinking just seems possible right now but I know it can be done. Thanks again!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
I'm sure it doesn't seem possible to get through events like that sober, but once you get a few under your belt, the confidence will grow and you'll also probably realize that most people don't get drunk and those that do, look like fools. You might get a few weird stares or questions when you order a club soda instead of a beer, but it's really mostly just in your head. People don't care what you are drinking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Yeah, there is no "winning" with problem drinking. If you go out and paint the town red, its the blackouts, the money, the dangerous behavior, and of course our mouths get in is the most trouble, on the other, the alcoholic who sits at home doesn't have those problems, but still has tons of other issues to deal with. Social media, phone calls, treating family bad, hiding it and list goes on. Stick with man.
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