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Need Some Help With Strategies

Old 06-28-2015, 02:29 PM
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Need Some Help With Strategies

Some people have told me to ask about getting a plan together, which after recovering from the initial hangover, would be good. Maybe this will help me feel more conviction.

Getting through this next week, will be the toughest. Specifically, they'll ask me to go out to the bar next Friday. I often make this mistake of going out to the bar, and on Monday decide that I will not go on Friday again. But I go. I always go.

What are some strategies that I can use to keep myself away? I did already tell a friend that I am quitting drinking, so if I tell him that I can't go out that night, he'll likely understand.

I also noticed that there are some online meetings here, so might two or three times of those keep me occupied? I think at least one live meeting this week will help. Because of my weekend, the ability to get around is somewhat limited. I need to connect with people face to face again though. I never did do very well in meetings, because I'm actually incredibly shy in person - but they're valuable still.

If I can get through to Saturday without hitting that bar, I'll know that I at least have some capability left in me. It'll instill a bit of confidence in me again. Can you toss me some ideas? Meditation maybe? How do I imbue this ragged little man with some good work.

Holy **** I'm a broken person.

Thank you. Thank you for letting me ask all of these questions in these threads.
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Old 06-28-2015, 03:13 PM
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SR has online mtns every tuesday & friday at 9pm est in the chatroom other recovery sites have online mtns too

As for plan building theres a lot of useful links in this thread here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tml?styleid=93

Good luck bud
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Old 06-28-2015, 03:18 PM
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Originally Posted by TheSereneTheif View Post
What are some strategies that I can use to keep myself away?
Here's the strategy I use when someone asks me to go to a bar or other alcohol-fueled event:

I tell them "NO!"

Trickier will be telling yourself no. Read up on Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT). You'll learn to recognize the tricks your addiction will play to get you to change your mind about staying home or staying sober.

Stay close to SR, you'll get through the weekend.
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Old 06-28-2015, 03:19 PM
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Ok. Next Friday you come here and PM me and ask for permission to go to the bar.
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Old 06-28-2015, 03:31 PM
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Originally Posted by trachemys View Post
Ok. Next Friday you come here and PM me and ask for permission to go to the bar.
haha, that is beautiful. What a response! TST, would you like to put a small wager on what trach's answer will be?

I would just like to add that I personally did and do not advertise the "not drinking or quit drinking" thing. First, no one needs to know, people have a tendency to put their own spin on it, and god knows down the line how far off track they get with telling other people about your decision. Also, actions speak much louder than words. Just do it. Just don't go out this week, no need for any elaborate explanation. And don't give into peer pressure (I know, its hard).
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Old 06-29-2015, 09:43 AM
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Originally Posted by thomas11 View Post
haha, that is beautiful. What a response! TST, would you like to put a small wager on what trach's answer will be?
Haha. Yea that definitely put a smile on my face.
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Old 06-29-2015, 11:45 AM
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Reaching out for support BEFORE doing anything is a always a great idea!!

For me in my own head, in isolation, I would make bad decisions, my addiction wanted me to drink and without a second opinion on things I tended to give in whereas having something outside of myself to keep me focused created lasting results!!
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Old 06-29-2015, 01:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Purpleknight View Post
Reaching out for support BEFORE doing anything is a always a great idea!!

For me in my own head, in isolation, I would make bad decisions, my addiction wanted me to drink and without a second opinion on things I tended to give in whereas having something outside of myself to keep me focused created lasting results!!
This is a great idea. I mean, lately I haven't been reaching out to anyone before I do all this stupid stuff. Mostly because everyone thinks I'm still a sober person. So it would just create a lot of worry around my family and whatnot. But I really need to get into the habit of coming here and posting when I'm feeling like I might fall. Thanks for the advice.
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Old 06-29-2015, 01:54 PM
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Find a dance class, a meet up group, a hobby, something to do on Friday nights so you won't be at the bar but won't feel like your lonely or "missing out".
- I'm just giving random ideas with the dance class and hobbies- find something that you will enjoy doing instead of going to the bar is the basic gist of it
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Old 06-29-2015, 02:27 PM
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Yes, planning ahead will really help. Make plans to do something on Fri night that is not involving alcohol and very different from anything you would normally do. It will help you get through Fri night and as you said, it will give you more confidence for Saturday.
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Old 06-29-2015, 02:55 PM
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Strategies that worked for me

I had to cut off everyone in the very beginning.
You find out real fast who your real friends are and who your "drinking " friends are and boy is there a HUGE difference.
I have an addiction specialist counselor through my doctors office for free that's been awesome.
He taught me to think of new things or old things you used to do before addiction that you can have as healthy distractions.
I would color alot.... Go online and print off a lot of mandalas...intricate designs that you can color and focus on instead of drinking.
I went to AA which helps in alot of ways even if all you do is listen. You know you're in a group of people just like you and you're not alone. Plus you can learn some things from them too.
Pray everyday. All day if you have to.
Celebrate Recovery is a Christian based program you can google it in your area.
Start taking care of yourself again. Eat right sleep lots of water.
I even started volunteering at a homeless shelter which was a God send. It's helpful not only to those you serve but it will make you feel good. And it will also show you what could happen to you if you don't stop drinking....alot of the men at my shelter are addicts or recovering. So you can meet good people that have had bad things happen that can also open your eyes.
I'm only 16 months sober and NEVER thought life was possible without alcohol. I've been very blessed with the placement of people and help that have been put in my path. And when I get too comfortable and start taking it for granted I feel out of sync and I need a meeting. I keep an AA link on my cell phone home screen so I know where meetings are everyday.
My doctors office was great too. I was on a drug for a year to help with cravings and with prozac added too once the alcohol wore off and I had to start actually deal with life and feelings I got depressed. Well I was probably already depressed and I used alcohol to medicate....
And the biggest break through for me was to admit out loud that I was an alcoholic. I told my parents. I told my job. Once it's out I had a huge relief. I was so tired of being so many different people. It is exhausting. That's the key. Finding yourself again under all the garbage you've piled on.







Originally Posted by TheSereneTheif View Post
Some people have told me to ask about getting a plan together, which after recovering from the initial hangover, would be good. Maybe this will help me feel more conviction.

Getting through this next week, will be the toughest. Specifically, they'll ask me to go out to the bar next Friday. I often make this mistake of going out to the bar, and on Monday decide that I will not go on Friday again. But I go. I always go.

What are some strategies that I can use to keep myself away? I did already tell a friend that I am quitting drinking, so if I tell him that I can't go out that night, he'll likely understand.

I also noticed that there are some online meetings here, so might two or three times of those keep me occupied? I think at least one live meeting this week will help. Because of my weekend, the ability to get around is somewhat limited. I need to connect with people face to face again though. I never did do very well in meetings, because I'm actually incredibly shy in person - but they're valuable still.

If I can get through to Saturday without hitting that bar, I'll know that I at least have some capability left in me. It'll instill a bit of confidence in me again. Can you toss me some ideas? Meditation maybe? How do I imbue this ragged little man with some good work.

Holy **** I'm a broken person.

Thank you. Thank you for letting me ask all of these questions in these threads.
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Old 06-29-2015, 03:22 PM
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I said that in half-jest. I've never had a problem going to a bar and not drinking. "No, I'm driving". Get's you free bev's all night. And that's what I did. I didn't drink and I was the DD.

It's when I took the first drink that it all went to hell. One wouldn't do it. Two was just the orchestra warming up. Before you know it I was over the state line in that open all night bar, knowing I was on a multi-day bender.

If you're going to quit drinking...that's it. You don't drink. Doesn't matter where you are or what the situation is. You don't drink.

Repeat after me:

"I don't drink"
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Old 06-29-2015, 05:35 PM
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Originally Posted by trachemys View Post

If you're going to quit drinking...that's it. You don't drink. Doesn't matter where you are or what the situation is. You don't drink.

Repeat after me:

"I don't drink"
I've been reading quite a bit about avrt, and your words seem to mimic it. I mean, you're right. I need to make that decision and hold to it. I've made the decision to quit drinking and I can fully and completely commit to it if I choose.
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Old 06-29-2015, 06:14 PM
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Stop doing anything associated with alcohol. That includes people that drink and places where drinking occurs. Have a dry house develop sober friends, start a program of recover, work on your spirituality, find fun things to do without alcohol., seek professional treatment.

Unless we change we will stay the same
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