Divorce final
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 13
Divorce final
So, I just got home from a two-day visit to Florida for the final judgment hearing. Considerable time and money spent to answer six questions that were already on the forms; in and out of court in five minutes. You have to love the court system!
Can't say I did too well out of the settlement. I lost both our houses (yes, I know, a first world problem) and much else, but I kept my motorcycle, my retirement account and what was left of my sanity (priceless).
XAW is currently in court-ordered rehab, wearing a SCRAM bracelet and with the ever-present threat of jail from her last DUI if she drinks again. I am waiting to see if I will be a defendant in two civil suits related to her DUI (as the registered owner of the vehicle, Florida law holds me liable), which I will find out in the next month or two. One of those is likely to be rather expensive, so if it happens I expect to file for bankruptcy (so I'm keeping my head down and hoping they forget about me, lol).
It is a reflection on how difficult life can be with an active A that I don't feel like my current situation is too bad. Not every day is better than the one before, but each month is. I've taken on more work responsibilities, and adopted a great rescue dog. The structure from both of those is very helpful, and keeps the circular thoughts at bay. Zoloft also helps!
Tomorrow I am going to visit my parents, who are some distance away and whom I have not seen since last year's separation. I believe there will be cake waiting for me . . . .
Thanks to all here at SR. I will stick around and try to pay it forward.
Can't say I did too well out of the settlement. I lost both our houses (yes, I know, a first world problem) and much else, but I kept my motorcycle, my retirement account and what was left of my sanity (priceless).
XAW is currently in court-ordered rehab, wearing a SCRAM bracelet and with the ever-present threat of jail from her last DUI if she drinks again. I am waiting to see if I will be a defendant in two civil suits related to her DUI (as the registered owner of the vehicle, Florida law holds me liable), which I will find out in the next month or two. One of those is likely to be rather expensive, so if it happens I expect to file for bankruptcy (so I'm keeping my head down and hoping they forget about me, lol).
It is a reflection on how difficult life can be with an active A that I don't feel like my current situation is too bad. Not every day is better than the one before, but each month is. I've taken on more work responsibilities, and adopted a great rescue dog. The structure from both of those is very helpful, and keeps the circular thoughts at bay. Zoloft also helps!
Tomorrow I am going to visit my parents, who are some distance away and whom I have not seen since last year's separation. I believe there will be cake waiting for me . . . .
Thanks to all here at SR. I will stick around and try to pay it forward.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 121
I hope things continue to get better and better as you go along. I too just finalized my divorce 5 days ago from my alcoholic husband. Yep, the 2nd DUI and inability to stay sober even after some jail, a blow device for 18 months, as well as his 3rd round of rehab made no difference... It finally did us in. I wish you all the best and continued healing. Glad you found a pup to love. I don't know what I'd do without mine. :-)
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 493
I hate to say congratulations for a divorce. It seems strange to me. But I am happy for you that you were able to close the door on the heartache that your xaw brought into your life. And from the sounds of it, 18 years, you stayed longer than most people would or could. It will be nice for your parents and you to spend time together. It is wonderful that they are supportive of you, especially during this time. I truly hope nothing happens to you for your xaw's bad behavior and dui's. That seems horrible to blame you or make you liable for her actions. Florida's court system is so messed up. My first divorce was in Florida and so I know. I could tell you horrible stories!! But I will hope your situation goes much better than mine has in that arena.
You seem to have a good outlook on things and your future. Enjoy your motorcycle and the freedom to truly go where it takes you.
You seem to have a good outlook on things and your future. Enjoy your motorcycle and the freedom to truly go where it takes you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Hi, pflorida--I just received the papers making my own divorce final yesterday (originally filed for divorce, converted to a legal separation and finalized that, then converted the separation to a divorce).
Thanks for posting about your possible liability in the DUI suits. I hope you don't have to be dragged into that. My XAH was still on my same auto insurance simply b/c it hadn't occurred to me to change it, and I know that he drives drunk. I asked him to get his own policy, and he should be off of mine and on his own as of Monday, so far as I know. If that doesn't happen, I'm going to have to dump my auto insurance and get a new policy somewhere else--I just can't take that risk.
And congrats on the rescue hound! I've always had dogs from rescues/shelters, and they are great friends to have--none better.
Wishing you peace and happiness as your life moves forward.
Thanks for posting about your possible liability in the DUI suits. I hope you don't have to be dragged into that. My XAH was still on my same auto insurance simply b/c it hadn't occurred to me to change it, and I know that he drives drunk. I asked him to get his own policy, and he should be off of mine and on his own as of Monday, so far as I know. If that doesn't happen, I'm going to have to dump my auto insurance and get a new policy somewhere else--I just can't take that risk.
And congrats on the rescue hound! I've always had dogs from rescues/shelters, and they are great friends to have--none better.
Wishing you peace and happiness as your life moves forward.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 13
Thanks, everyone. It sounds like quite a few of us have been getting our paperwork recently.
Honeypig, I ended up withdrawing myself from my insurance and converting my wife to the primary insured, because the companies cannot remove someone from coverage if they are driving one of the cars. After a bit of investigation on their part (there were a number of at fault claims, but none were when I was in the car), they treated me as though I had never made a claim -- very nice of them. For me, the horse had already left the barn, but good that you are fixing one of those things we often forget about and that can come back and bite you on the butt.
Honeypig, I ended up withdrawing myself from my insurance and converting my wife to the primary insured, because the companies cannot remove someone from coverage if they are driving one of the cars. After a bit of investigation on their part (there were a number of at fault claims, but none were when I was in the car), they treated me as though I had never made a claim -- very nice of them. For me, the horse had already left the barn, but good that you are fixing one of those things we often forget about and that can come back and bite you on the butt.
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