The impossible possible!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
The impossible possible!
I'm a year sober today, 365 bloody days without something I thought I couldn't last a hour without.
My every waking moment was how to bring alcohol into my day.
I was happy - get drunk!
I was sad - get really drunk!
I'd made a horrible mistake/said something bad while drunk....well get so drunk it won't matter anyways!! Every emotion warranted me with a pass to get drunk. It was an absolutely horrible existence. I hated myself. Consumed with fear about never being able to stop drinking and being **** scared of who I really would become sober.
The first few weeks and months were hard. I had "the fear" daily. Worrying about the huge responsibility id put on myself by declaring to family and friends I was an alcoholic and in my heart thinking I wouldn't ever do it as id relapsed so many times before so....I attended AA, got a sponsor, met sober friends, I joined SR, read and posted as often as I could. I got a counsellor and submerged myself in my new life. I was lucky to have the support from my boyfriend, family and friends, I knew it was now or never and id eventually die from some alcohol related illness or I'd end up in a ditch and break the people who loved me heart. Slowly but surely the months passed by and I was...dare I say it happy?!?
I soon discovered I was pregnant, moved into our new home and tried to keep doing what I could do to stay sober. Experiencing throughout many fleeting moments of wanting to drink. I didn't but how I hated those thoughts...and I soon came to realise I have a choice. My thoughts don't have to be actioned.
Sobriety has given me something I never thought I'd get, peace of mind, a life and a family. My son arrived on the 29th April 2015. He is beautiful. He is my world and he will never see me drunk. I owe him a sober mother but the person I owe that to the most is me!
Life has its normal ups and downs but I grab them by the balls and deal with them.
I used to read posts and hear stories of years of sobriety and think never! I swear to god if your reading this and think you can't get sober you can! Your life depends on it and what a life it can be.
Good luck to each and everyone of you here. And most of all thank you. Being able to read posts in the middle of the night, on the train, bath and in the oddest of places has been my saviour.
Like a warm sober friend walking with me on my journey. Wishing you all well. Leigh x
My every waking moment was how to bring alcohol into my day.
I was happy - get drunk!
I was sad - get really drunk!
I'd made a horrible mistake/said something bad while drunk....well get so drunk it won't matter anyways!! Every emotion warranted me with a pass to get drunk. It was an absolutely horrible existence. I hated myself. Consumed with fear about never being able to stop drinking and being **** scared of who I really would become sober.
The first few weeks and months were hard. I had "the fear" daily. Worrying about the huge responsibility id put on myself by declaring to family and friends I was an alcoholic and in my heart thinking I wouldn't ever do it as id relapsed so many times before so....I attended AA, got a sponsor, met sober friends, I joined SR, read and posted as often as I could. I got a counsellor and submerged myself in my new life. I was lucky to have the support from my boyfriend, family and friends, I knew it was now or never and id eventually die from some alcohol related illness or I'd end up in a ditch and break the people who loved me heart. Slowly but surely the months passed by and I was...dare I say it happy?!?
I soon discovered I was pregnant, moved into our new home and tried to keep doing what I could do to stay sober. Experiencing throughout many fleeting moments of wanting to drink. I didn't but how I hated those thoughts...and I soon came to realise I have a choice. My thoughts don't have to be actioned.
Sobriety has given me something I never thought I'd get, peace of mind, a life and a family. My son arrived on the 29th April 2015. He is beautiful. He is my world and he will never see me drunk. I owe him a sober mother but the person I owe that to the most is me!
Life has its normal ups and downs but I grab them by the balls and deal with them.
I used to read posts and hear stories of years of sobriety and think never! I swear to god if your reading this and think you can't get sober you can! Your life depends on it and what a life it can be.
Good luck to each and everyone of you here. And most of all thank you. Being able to read posts in the middle of the night, on the train, bath and in the oddest of places has been my saviour.
Like a warm sober friend walking with me on my journey. Wishing you all well. Leigh x
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 11
So inspiring
Thank you for sharing. My daughter is hitting rock bottom n I need to let her. Your post gave me a flicker of hope for her to choose to get well. Peace to you and your newborn. Keep writing.
Originally Posted by Foolsgold186 
I'm a year sober today, 365 bloody days without something I thought I couldn't last a hour without.
My every waking moment was how to bring alcohol into my day.
I was happy - get drunk!
I was sad - get really drunk!
I'd made a horrible mistake/said something bad while drunk....well get so drunk it won't matter anyways!! Every emotion warranted me with a pass to get drunk. It was an absolutely horrible existence. I hated myself. Consumed with fear about never being able to stop drinking and being **** scared of who I really would become sober.
The first few weeks and months were hard. I had "the fear" daily. Worrying about the huge responsibility id put on myself by declaring to family and friends I was an alcoholic and in my heart thinking I wouldn't ever do it as id relapsed so many times before so....I attended AA, got a sponsor, met sober friends, I joined SR, read and posted as often as I could. I got a counsellor and submerged myself in my new life. I was lucky to have the support from my boyfriend, family and friends, I knew it was now or never and id eventually die from some alcohol related illness or I'd end up in a ditch and break the people who loved me heart. Slowly but surely the months passed by and I was...dare I say it happy?!?
I soon discovered I was pregnant, moved into our new home and tried to keep doing what I could do to stay sober. Experiencing throughout many fleeting moments of wanting to drink. I didn't but how I hated those thoughts...and I soon came to realise I have a choice. My thoughts don't have to be actioned.
Sobriety has given me something I never thought I'd get, peace of mind, a life and a family. My son arrived on the 29th April 2015. He is beautiful. He is my world and he will never see me drunk. I owe him a sober mother but the person I owe that to the most is me!
Life has its normal ups and downs but I grab them by the balls and deal with them.
I used to read posts and hear stories of years of sobriety and think never! I swear to god if your reading this and think you can't get sober you can! Your life depends on it and what a life it can be.
Good luck to each and everyone of you here. And most of all thank you. Being able to read posts in the middle of the night, on the train, bath and in the oddest of places has been my saviour.
Like a warm sober friend walking with me on my journey. Wishing you all well. Leigh x
My every waking moment was how to bring alcohol into my day.
I was happy - get drunk!
I was sad - get really drunk!
I'd made a horrible mistake/said something bad while drunk....well get so drunk it won't matter anyways!! Every emotion warranted me with a pass to get drunk. It was an absolutely horrible existence. I hated myself. Consumed with fear about never being able to stop drinking and being **** scared of who I really would become sober.
The first few weeks and months were hard. I had "the fear" daily. Worrying about the huge responsibility id put on myself by declaring to family and friends I was an alcoholic and in my heart thinking I wouldn't ever do it as id relapsed so many times before so....I attended AA, got a sponsor, met sober friends, I joined SR, read and posted as often as I could. I got a counsellor and submerged myself in my new life. I was lucky to have the support from my boyfriend, family and friends, I knew it was now or never and id eventually die from some alcohol related illness or I'd end up in a ditch and break the people who loved me heart. Slowly but surely the months passed by and I was...dare I say it happy?!?
I soon discovered I was pregnant, moved into our new home and tried to keep doing what I could do to stay sober. Experiencing throughout many fleeting moments of wanting to drink. I didn't but how I hated those thoughts...and I soon came to realise I have a choice. My thoughts don't have to be actioned.
Sobriety has given me something I never thought I'd get, peace of mind, a life and a family. My son arrived on the 29th April 2015. He is beautiful. He is my world and he will never see me drunk. I owe him a sober mother but the person I owe that to the most is me!
Life has its normal ups and downs but I grab them by the balls and deal with them.
I used to read posts and hear stories of years of sobriety and think never! I swear to god if your reading this and think you can't get sober you can! Your life depends on it and what a life it can be.
Good luck to each and everyone of you here. And most of all thank you. Being able to read posts in the middle of the night, on the train, bath and in the oddest of places has been my saviour.
Like a warm sober friend walking with me on my journey. Wishing you all well. Leigh x
And enjoy that new baby. 
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