I'm sorry.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 390
I'm sorry.
Hi all. I've been a little busy these days, that's good.
I had a nightmare last night, and I woke up I tears, remembering situations of my relationship with exabf.
One of those is still making me feel bad and regretful.
The day he broke it off with me I was feeling terrible... I had given a lot to him, I was making a lot of effort. And I felt so sad. He knew that I didn't trusted him as before. He knew that my parents didn't liked him and that we we're hiding from them. He knew I was giving him the benefit of the doubt, yet he threw me away.
I was pissed off. I told him that it was horrible from him to try t OK have sex with someone who loved him and he didn't loved back...
He just said that he never really wanted to have sex with me.
However, I felt sad for having told him.such a thing. It may be true, but it was still pretty offensive I guess.
I know I can't apologize because he will surely took the chance to insult me and blame me for the failed relationship.
I am aware of having said things like that who maybe we're a bit hurtful. And I regret it, I really do.
I guess I still have this feeling of having ruined things with him.
It sucks.
I had a nightmare last night, and I woke up I tears, remembering situations of my relationship with exabf.
One of those is still making me feel bad and regretful.
The day he broke it off with me I was feeling terrible... I had given a lot to him, I was making a lot of effort. And I felt so sad. He knew that I didn't trusted him as before. He knew that my parents didn't liked him and that we we're hiding from them. He knew I was giving him the benefit of the doubt, yet he threw me away.
I was pissed off. I told him that it was horrible from him to try t OK have sex with someone who loved him and he didn't loved back...
He just said that he never really wanted to have sex with me.
However, I felt sad for having told him.such a thing. It may be true, but it was still pretty offensive I guess.
I know I can't apologize because he will surely took the chance to insult me and blame me for the failed relationship.
I am aware of having said things like that who maybe we're a bit hurtful. And I regret it, I really do.
I guess I still have this feeling of having ruined things with him.
It sucks.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Sometimes we get very caught up in why other people do and say things, when we should be focusing our energy on ourselves. My husband and I are very close, but I still don't understand why he does and says some of the things he does and says.
I don't have to understand them to accept them as part of who he is. When I struggle too hard to understand someone, it is usually because I am fighting too hard to resist accepting them for who they are. I don't want to do that, because it means letting go of who I hoped they would be.
You can choose to beat yourself up for things you said because you're emotions were high, or you can choose to accept that you said those things and cannot change them. You can choose to do better the next time you are in a similar situation. You can choose to forgive yourself and move on.
Whatever you choose, we're here to listen as you work through these things. Sorry you're feeling down today.
I don't have to understand them to accept them as part of who he is. When I struggle too hard to understand someone, it is usually because I am fighting too hard to resist accepting them for who they are. I don't want to do that, because it means letting go of who I hoped they would be.
You can choose to beat yourself up for things you said because you're emotions were high, or you can choose to accept that you said those things and cannot change them. You can choose to do better the next time you are in a similar situation. You can choose to forgive yourself and move on.
Whatever you choose, we're here to listen as you work through these things. Sorry you're feeling down today.
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