feren

I've managed to stay sober for nearly a week, longest time in 20 years. I still feel like crud in some ways. But my main anxiety is re my loss of long term memory (even 2weeks ago) I know why this is, through the site and through google..But I wondered has anyone regained old memories they thought they had forgotten after longer sober periods. My doc hasn't helped at all. I'm getting cravings too which doesn't help my anxiety. Maybe brain fog? Thanks for reading.

Lenina

Feren, Many things get better the longer we are sober and have better diets. You're in very early recovery so give it some time for your head to clear. Have you seen a medical doctor?

So glad you're here with us!

love from Lenina

Aellyce

Feren, the brain is undergoing enormous changes when we quit a long-term substance addiction, and adjusting takes a good while. Information processing and memory-related processes are some of those that are most heavily affected during that time. I remember that I had a period in early sobriety when I would be flooded by old forgotten (or repressed) memories all the time, and I was thinking wtf is that?

I think it's a good idea to get a physical to rule out possible specific causes such as nutritional imbalances (that can be corrected with treatment), and other than that, we just need to be patient. Make sure you eat a balanced and regular diet, sleep as regularly as you can, get some exercise, and occupy yourself with activities you enjoy. Other than that, it's mostly the question of time.

Zufrieden

Feren,
Yesterday was Sober Day 8 for me which is miraculous. It is the first time I have been sober for a day in 17 years.
Ironically, it was my fear of losing my mind that caused me to abruptly stop last week. I knew for years that the internal organs were likely taking a beating but the past months I realized that my formerly agile mind was lumbering around like a bear in a closet. I couldn't remember basic things that had happened. I was also dealing with what someone on this site called brownouts each morning. Wide awake the night before but just out of it enough to not remember details.
I have been consuming massive quantities of fresh salads, fruits, proteins, juicing.... you name it, along with hard walks each day. I am just realizing today that I do feel sharper and that my head does seem to be clearing.
I have to believe that this stuff, like the liver, has the ability to regenerate once we clean up. Here is hoping!
Best to you.
d

biminiblue

Good answers so far. Feren, control the things you can. Like has been said, eat a good, healthy diet with enough of all nutrients to help your healing. Part of alcoholism is malnutrition, so for a while I would eat any and everything - by about month four I was feeling pretty nimble cognitively, but there were still things to work on - and indeed it will always be so.

My main goals in early sobriety were to do only things that were good for me. Food, exercise, at least eight hours of sleep daily, prayer/meditation, coming to this site, reading recovery materials, setting healthy boundaries in my relationships. I made serenity my quest.

How much or when your brain and body heal are not really a quantifiable thing, so worrying about it will not make it happen better or faster.

You're doing great! Keep it going! You are going to continue to experience healing for this first year

feren

Thanks for the replies people. V helpful to me. I am taking vits etc and trying to get healthier. D yes I have been similar ie I have good metabolism etc so thought what is the big deal for years.. My body can handle it more than most I know so..Where's the problem? Well it is certainly catching up on me now in terms of brain damage. I just have to not get depressed and climb this sober mountain

biminiblue

I really don't think it is going to be permanent, feren.

Early sobriety carries with it a lot of delusional thinking and huge amounts of anxiety and fear. The depression will lift if you continue to do the next right thing. Have faith, we all did a lot of damage - it's going to be okay.

Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

feren

Thankyou B.B I guess you are right. In fact for a few years about 2 years ago I went through a lot of depersonalisation issues..am I real? Do people have a real self? Partly based on books by 'The Self Illusion' which are interesting but in my experience coupled with alcoholism equals brain totally messed up. Gonna keep on plodding on. Alcohol seems to affect the brain in so many bad ways. Also, anyone reading this..If you are depressed be wary of taking cetalopram..It made me crazy mad for booze and also made my ability to drink rocket to 3 plus bottles of wine a night

Elizabeth333

Been sober, off both benzos and alcohol, for 10 days. This is the hardest withdrawal I can remember. But at 60 - and 30 years of hard drinking - my body was telling me to quit it all and perhaps return to how I was before. Well, I do feel somewhat physically better, but oh my! my thought process is all over the map! Still it's better than passed out, drooling on myself in front of my family...

feren

*citalopram

gettingsmarter

Feren I have started remembering things I had forgotten about myself before I started drinking. As far as memories of things I did while drinking I probably never actually made them in the first place.

The fog will start to clear. This is just my thinking but I think it is critical to challenge your mind while in the fog. Learn anything you can new.

feren

Well done Elizabeth in sticking with it. I need inspiration atm ��

feren

..Ignore ?? stupid emoji/site *smiley face

biminiblue

In my first month I was going to AA meetings every day, sometimes twice a day or more. I was able to compare my thinking with others in the rooms who were cogent, articulate, and had a year or more of sobriety. I was really messed up in the head. I thought I was doing fine, but I wasn't. I had trouble putting two sentences together without sounding crazy. I knew it and it was scary and I try to remember that because it was a clear physical malfunction.

feren

Yes b.b I just reread my post makes no damn sense :/ Not sure if this helps or hinders people but I meant this. Only posting as when I was drinking it literally freaked me out, but even under sobriety I can see it for the science hypothesis it is.

Elizabeth333

So great to be able to come here, as I live way back in the woods and feel lucky to go to two AA meetings a week. Lots of info and support here.

feren

https://www.ted.com/talks/julian_bag...ou?language=en

FarToGo

Great post feren and I've found the whole discussion really useful. I'm at 12 weeks and my memory is randomly surprising me, not always pleasantly, obviously lots of memories I had blocked with alcohol are now able to return.... but early early days and the folks here say things get better and clearer the longer you are sober. I found the first week by far the worst of all, after this the rewards start to appear (clear eyes, better skin, better sleep...... ect). I hope it's the same for you and the worst of the physical is behind you.
Let's have courage and go forward.
X

DuhDave

Feren, I feel your pain and your fear. Mental issues have brought me to my knees in regards to the fact that I too have drank too much for too long. I wont go into details but it is frightning.

My Dr. Told me there is a condition called "Alcoholic Dementia". It is very real and can be very scary. However he added, it is usually reversable through total abstenence. Of course the first question I had was "How long will it take to get my mind back" ?

"Stop drinking today and you will be feeling better tomorrow"! In 2-3 years you should be your good ole' self again" ! (Mentally speaking).

His answer was not what I was hoping to hear but was a resonable estimate and I'am good with it. I have heard in in some recovery groups..."The first year is physical. The second year is mental and the third year is Spiritual" Makes sense to me.

I drank hard for 17 years. I'am not going to get well over night. I know this. I know too...I can never EVER drink again.

The party is over.

Good luck on your journey.

DD

Hevyn

Feren, I agree with the others. It's early days yet & things will change - and change again. I drank 30 years & in the end it was every day. I went through many phases - was a bit discouraged at first - but now I feel brand new. Be kind to yourself, and patient.

Elizabeth, I'm glad you're benefiting from being here - we're so glad to have you with us.