Cleomie

I've almost got 90 days and have found a great AA group, but for some reason today I've just hit a wall. I've been fantasizing about getting drunk, just that euphoric release and escape. I'm 49 and am thinking sh**t, the kids are about gone, I'd like to celebrate now that life is getting a little easier.
I've been reading a lot of drinking memories. Currently I'm reading Blackout which is good. Normally reading these books just confirms my decision to be sober. But today I really want a bottle of wine.
I know I'd be so depressed in the morning.
Please give me some encouragement, SR family.

sva777

Hi, I am in the same boat as you, fairly new to recovery and I sometimes fantasize about having a drink. I know I can't have just one though and I just try and remember how bad the hangover and withdrawals were. It's tough but it goes away, just tell yourself "do I want to celebrate with this poison which might make me feel good for a couple hours only to suffer the agony of the after effects all over again?".

Celebrate by waking up sober tomorrow. *hugs

Saskia

Yes, some times are tougher than others! When I have a craving, i "think it through to the end" - which means I think about how I will feel taking the first sip (a high) and on to drinking too much, waking up with a miserable hangover, feeling rotten physically the next day, followed by the psychic misery after that. By the time I get to the end, the craving is gone.

Dee74

Hi Cleomie - it's actually pretty common to feel a little wobbly around 90 days - it's long enough for us to forget the really bad stuff about drinking and not quite long enough for us to see the full benefits of staying sober.

I often confused abstinence for control. I'd start thinking 'I feel really good and I haven't had a drink in months - maybe I'm a normal drinker now...?'

nope.

Stay with it Cleomie. Look back to your earliest posts here if you need more persuading to stay sober

D

Cleomie

Thank you sva, Saskia, and Dee for your encouragement. I pushed thru, and didn't succumb to the temptation. I have to remember HALT too, because at the time I was a combination of Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired, and I was feeling very vulnerable. I'm going to hit the hay early tonite, and put this day behind me. Thank you again for your encouragement.

Anna

Cleomie good for you for getting through that. And, good that you recognized that you were a bit off-balance.

least

~Lia~

Good job. You talked your way out of it. I am 10 months sober and still get those urges to drink. Someone on here said a quote (don't remember who) but: play the tape all the way through.

Sure that first drink sounds fabulous. But then what?

I can't believe now that I am sober that people are actually ok with 1 or 2 glasses of wine. That would never be enough for me! I need to drink until blackout or pass out. Then cue the shame, remorse and guilt.

thomas11

Hi Cleaomie, great idea to post before you popped the cork. Glad it has passed. It would have been a shame to put a blemish on those 90 hard earned days. Wishing you the best.

sva777

Hi Cleomie, glad you did not drink. I have had urges but have continued to stay strong myself. As a poster said above, play the tape to the end. 90 days will come and go and soon you will be at 180, i wish you well.

FeelingGreat

Congratulations Cleomie and sva on seeing through your cravings. They can be very dangerous at first but I hope that as you go you'll become more confident in dealing with them.
HALT is super important, so look after yourselves.

sleepie

Wow 90 days is amazing.
HALT is a big player and like Dee said it seems (I have read) that 90 days is a weak point for many.
I am inspired by your post and hope to reach 90 days too.
I am glad you reached out here

Ruby2

Cleomie, good work getting through. And it is work sometimes. I went to a meeting tonight and one guy said he couldn't control how he felt but he could control how he handled the feeling. That was a great thing to hear for me today. Congrats on 90.