I can quit anytime I want to!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I used to quit cigarettes multiple times a day it was easy. But yeah staying that way? another ball game.
I'd ask you what some of your triggers are perhaps you can avoid them or something but if your anything like me just about anything was a trigger.
Can you change up your routine so that "drinking time" gets interfered with? sabtoge it somehow? even if it just buys you a couple days to start?
I read once out anorexics will sabotoge there food so that they wont eat it. I'm not advocating this. but the strategy might have some merit. For example I started chewing tobacco once. my wife started to salt it when i wasnt looking. repeatidly she'd find it and salt it then laugh her butt off when i'd get a mouth full of that! So i gave up and just quit.
The last time I was in debt I settled my credit card debt. THis is not the most ideal method to get out of debt as it can ding your score. But I didn care I wanted to sabatoge my score so I woudlnt ge all stupid and borrow money I coudnt afford again.
I think in the end my drinking habit was sabtoged though not by me or maybe by me? The panic attacks got so bad. Everytime I drank it was terrible. as if my booze had been salted like the tabacco. It no longer worked out for me.
Booze eventually is like the friend who doesnt play fair. Eventually hopefully you get tired of it and say screw this i'm going home i'm not playing anymore you dont play fair.
I'd ask you what some of your triggers are perhaps you can avoid them or something but if your anything like me just about anything was a trigger.
Can you change up your routine so that "drinking time" gets interfered with? sabtoge it somehow? even if it just buys you a couple days to start?
I read once out anorexics will sabotoge there food so that they wont eat it. I'm not advocating this. but the strategy might have some merit. For example I started chewing tobacco once. my wife started to salt it when i wasnt looking. repeatidly she'd find it and salt it then laugh her butt off when i'd get a mouth full of that! So i gave up and just quit.
The last time I was in debt I settled my credit card debt. THis is not the most ideal method to get out of debt as it can ding your score. But I didn care I wanted to sabatoge my score so I woudlnt ge all stupid and borrow money I coudnt afford again.
I think in the end my drinking habit was sabtoged though not by me or maybe by me? The panic attacks got so bad. Everytime I drank it was terrible. as if my booze had been salted like the tabacco. It no longer worked out for me.
Booze eventually is like the friend who doesnt play fair. Eventually hopefully you get tired of it and say screw this i'm going home i'm not playing anymore you dont play fair.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I think I'm just lazy..... it's easier to just succumb than to fight it all the time.
The reality i've found that its easier to fight it then to succumb. I'm not gonna lie i have my bad days and my battles for sure. But despite that its easier then drinking all the time.
after all is said and done and 4 years sobriety under my belt there is one thing drinking did for me that I have not figured out how to repicate. and that was the ability to just easily shut off the world and my mind and thoroughly relax. But with booze that always came with a hefty price. I've realized i'm just better off without it.
but your right it is a fight it is a battle but it does get easier and in time you realize its a battle worth fighting.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I could talk about triggers like my friends trial and how it spun me out yesterday but it would be bs.....
this line of thinking is what will prevent you from getting help. It worries me that one day i might find myself in a position like yours. and I wont want to post because someone will tell me i'm just full of excuses and I wont wanna hear it if they are right or if they are wrong. But the reality is you should keep coming around looking for support putting it out there if your right or if your wrong etc.. Thats why people are here etc...
hang in there. I dont think its BS I think its just part of your struggle is all.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
I don't drink everyday but I'm thinking about drinking everyday. It builds up. The obsession is very real.
**** I'm so tired of this! It's so stupid.
Anyways I have to do some work today....
I know that the only cure is quitting and riding out the uncomfortable feelings and a total commitment to not pouring another drink down my throat.
Sorry guys I know that this has been going on for a long time with me.......
**** I'm so tired of this! It's so stupid.
Anyways I have to do some work today....
I know that the only cure is quitting and riding out the uncomfortable feelings and a total commitment to not pouring another drink down my throat.
Sorry guys I know that this has been going on for a long time with me.......
Last edited by Dee74; 06-24-2015 at 04:03 PM.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Sorry guys I know that this has been going on for a long time with me.......
all of that is in my head I think.
I dunno maybe there are people here that go OMG i'm tired of that ones posts I suppose theres bound to be those here. But they dont have to respond etc..
I see others struggle day in and day out here and I have yet to think OMG when will that one get it rarara.
Point is dont let it get to you its a process it doesnt happen over night it takes time and theres people here and elsewhere who want to help. Dont feel like your a burden or something because your not.
I was a hopeless pathetic soul and somehow i'm here somehow i'm sober.
And I don't know an alcoholic who's said the fight wasn't worth it.
It has been going on for a long time for ya, but the great fact is that you have the choice to stop it.
Doing the same negative actions over and over knowing the results will have the same negative impact is insanity.
Pressure makes diamonds
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 521
Hi Zen,
I don't think you're lazy- it sounds like you don't want it bad enough. Don't wait for things to get so bad in your life (loss of health, job, friends, family etc), before you decide to stay sober. Just add the word "yet" to what you think hasn't happened, because in time it will. This is a progressive disease and it will pick up speed with time. The fact that you are on this site and have over 1000 posts shows that it's on your mind and the alcohol isn't working.
I hope you draw your line in the sand and choose your health and happiness- it's waiting if you really want it.
I don't think you're lazy- it sounds like you don't want it bad enough. Don't wait for things to get so bad in your life (loss of health, job, friends, family etc), before you decide to stay sober. Just add the word "yet" to what you think hasn't happened, because in time it will. This is a progressive disease and it will pick up speed with time. The fact that you are on this site and have over 1000 posts shows that it's on your mind and the alcohol isn't working.
I hope you draw your line in the sand and choose your health and happiness- it's waiting if you really want it.
I starved my addiction for several months and the obsession abated.
And my slavery ended.
I will never go back.
I highly recommend it.
I could quit too but I never really wanted to until things got really really bad and even then I didn't want to but it was quit drinking or die. As time went on I came to love my sober life and I saw my drinking life for what it was, absolute hell.
Hey Zen. In order to quit you need to close the door. Completely. I had nine months then slipped up. I realized there was a small crack in my plan. I left the door open for future drinking. It's closed now and one of the things I finally said to myself was "Arbor, your an Alcoholic."
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I did the same with cigarettes oh i'll cut back a few a day then 1 a day and again I hit this point where i was just prolonging the misery.
Everytime those chemicals hit your body its like you gotta begin the withdrawel process all over again good god thats the worst part! its best to just move the heck on already without the stuff. But I know we get stunk in our little funk and dillusions of perhaps we can somehow be the special one who wins this game never works.
The sooner you quit for good the sooner you get to move forward the sooner you get to get past the misery etc... Its almost easier to just move quicker about it then to taper or prolong it etc...
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