Wholesome

I do it all the time...... just wish I could stay quit.......

Della1968

You can!!

zjw

I used to quit cigarettes multiple times a day it was easy. But yeah staying that way? another ball game.

I'd ask you what some of your triggers are perhaps you can avoid them or something but if your anything like me just about anything was a trigger.

Can you change up your routine so that "drinking time" gets interfered with? sabtoge it somehow? even if it just buys you a couple days to start?

I read once out anorexics will sabotoge there food so that they wont eat it. I'm not advocating this. but the strategy might have some merit. For example I started chewing tobacco once. my wife started to salt it when i wasnt looking. repeatidly she'd find it and salt it then laugh her butt off when i'd get a mouth full of that! So i gave up and just quit.

The last time I was in debt I settled my credit card debt. THis is not the most ideal method to get out of debt as it can ding your score. But I didn care I wanted to sabatoge my score so I woudlnt ge all stupid and borrow money I coudnt afford again.

I think in the end my drinking habit was sabtoged though not by me or maybe by me? The panic attacks got so bad. Everytime I drank it was terrible. as if my booze had been salted like the tabacco. It no longer worked out for me.

Booze eventually is like the friend who doesnt play fair. Eventually hopefully you get tired of it and say screw this i'm going home i'm not playing anymore you dont play fair.

Anna

What are you doing each day to stay quit? Maybe you can add something to your recovery plan to help you do this.

Nonsensical

Stop wishing, start doing.

I quit drinking hundreds of times. I only had to start living sober once.

Wholesome

I think I'm just lazy..... it's easier to just succumb than to fight it all the time. I could talk about triggers like my friends trial and how it spun me out yesterday but it would be bs.....

zjw

I dunno if your lazy But I understand the easier to just succumb then to fight it part.

The reality i've found that its easier to fight it then to succumb. I'm not gonna lie i have my bad days and my battles for sure. But despite that its easier then drinking all the time.

after all is said and done and 4 years sobriety under my belt there is one thing drinking did for me that I have not figured out how to repicate. and that was the ability to just easily shut off the world and my mind and thoroughly relax. But with booze that always came with a hefty price. I've realized i'm just better off without it.

but your right it is a fight it is a battle but it does get easier and in time you realize its a battle worth fighting.

zjw

oh and dont feel that way. its not BS. Your just inclined to reach for the drink rather then a better option. We've all been there.

this line of thinking is what will prevent you from getting help. It worries me that one day i might find myself in a position like yours. and I wont want to post because someone will tell me i'm just full of excuses and I wont wanna hear it if they are right or if they are wrong. But the reality is you should keep coming around looking for support putting it out there if your right or if your wrong etc.. Thats why people are here etc...

hang in there. I dont think its BS I think its just part of your struggle is all.

Wholesome

I don't drink everyday but I'm thinking about drinking everyday. It builds up. The obsession is very real.

**** I'm so tired of this! It's so stupid.

Anyways I have to do some work today....


I know that the only cure is quitting and riding out the uncomfortable feelings and a total commitment to not pouring another drink down my throat.

Sorry guys I know that this has been going on for a long time with me.......

zjw

for what its worth I sometimes do not post stuff as i dont want to be a burden to others. I feel like my problems are just too small and stupid and why seek help just to be told i'm a sissy or something. Or that i've let everyone down or theres zjw that hopeless pathetic guy who will never get it etc..

all of that is in my head I think.

I dunno maybe there are people here that go OMG i'm tired of that ones posts I suppose theres bound to be those here. But they dont have to respond etc..

I see others struggle day in and day out here and I have yet to think OMG when will that one get it rarara.

Point is dont let it get to you its a process it doesnt happen over night it takes time and theres people here and elsewhere who want to help. Dont feel like your a burden or something because your not.

I was a hopeless pathetic soul and somehow i'm here somehow i'm sober.

tomsteve

I don't think I know an alcoholic that didn't have a problem with the mental obsession after stopping. I think we all had to fight to some extent.
And I don't know an alcoholic who's said the fight wasn't worth it.

It has been going on for a long time for ya, but the great fact is that you have the choice to stop it.

Doing the same negative actions over and over knowing the results will have the same negative impact is insanity.

Wholesome

I've been lying to myself that if I drink less it's less of a problem. All I'm doing is pulling the bandaid off slowly and causing myself more pain.

Hope2014

Hi Zen,
I don't think you're lazy- it sounds like you don't want it bad enough. Don't wait for things to get so bad in your life (loss of health, job, friends, family etc), before you decide to stay sober. Just add the word "yet" to what you think hasn't happened, because in time it will. This is a progressive disease and it will pick up speed with time. The fact that you are on this site and have over 1000 posts shows that it's on your mind and the alcohol isn't working.
I hope you draw your line in the sand and choose your health and happiness- it's waiting if you really want it.

Nonsensical

I describe your situation as slavery. Your addiction has enslaved your mind. I had a bad case of it myself for many years. Decades.

I starved my addiction for several months and the obsession abated.

And my slavery ended.

I will never go back.

I highly recommend it.

Quirky

Zenchaser, you can do it. Don't quit trying. Take it one day at a time.
Think of how much better things are when you don't drink...

MIRecovery

I could quit too but I never really wanted to until things got really really bad and even then I didn't want to but it was quit drinking or die. As time went on I came to love my sober life and I saw my drinking life for what it was, absolute hell.

PurpleKnight

You can turn things around Zen, intentions never got me far, actions to stay stopped was what finally did it!!

You can do it too!!

Fly N Buy

When I decided to focus on the solution and not the problem I turned the tables on drinking.........

Keep coming back

Arbor

Hey Zen. In order to quit you need to close the door. Completely. I had nine months then slipped up. I realized there was a small crack in my plan. I left the door open for future drinking. It's closed now and one of the things I finally said to myself was "Arbor, your an Alcoholic."

zjw

yeah prolonging the misery STINKS! i tapered when i quit booze after a week or so i was like enough of this if i cant drink to get drunk whats the point and angrily quit knowing i had too because i was not sure what else to do about my panic attacks any other problems i had as a result of booze didnt even enter my mind at this point. I just had to go for it.

I did the same with cigarettes oh i'll cut back a few a day then 1 a day and again I hit this point where i was just prolonging the misery.

Everytime those chemicals hit your body its like you gotta begin the withdrawel process all over again good god thats the worst part! its best to just move the heck on already without the stuff. But I know we get stunk in our little funk and dillusions of perhaps we can somehow be the special one who wins this game never works.

The sooner you quit for good the sooner you get to move forward the sooner you get to get past the misery etc... Its almost easier to just move quicker about it then to taper or prolong it etc...