ISOLATEDGUY

I am going to be dead soon if I don't change.Three decades of almost nightly heavy drinking have left me a wreck mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Spent the past week on vacation drinking alone in the basement.Then called in sick to work again.I have no friends, get severe shakes, and can barely function at work.

Chronic depression, panic attacks, and a dozen different medical and emotional problems.

I haven't been arrested and I am not throwing up blood yet are the only positive things I can say about my life.

I am hoping to transfer to the day shift and start going to A.A. meetings instead of leaving work at midnight and drinking.The boss is real close to requiring me to bring a doctor's note in every time I call out to work.

Saw a psychologist last week, second appointment is not for another week.

Two hours of sobriety, pitiful.I always just end up lying to myself and those around me.

Stroke, dementia, and unemployed, is around the corner if I don't do something.

All I do is put my elderly mother through hell, and I have absolutely no quality of life, just alone in a basement, and drinking Vodka straight from the 1.75 liter bottle.

My entire life and everything in it revolves around my drinking.

Even if I got magically better, drinking has already cost me most of my life, health, and sanity.... Dave

Trees39

Hey you are not alone. There are a few of us here just like you. Keep posting

Lenina

Dave, I'm glad you've found us. and there is hope. You're making some good choices. Please keep your psychologist appointment and see about getting an appointment with an MD for a safe, medical detox.

Does your employer have an EAP (employees assistance program). You might give them a call and see if they can direct you. If you don't have an EAP, your doctor can help.

Many of us were where you are now. We recovered and you can too. You'll find lots of good advice and great support here on SR. You're not alone any more.

Love from Lenina

SansaS

You can do this! Your life can be so much better

SoberFreckles

Hi Dave,
Hugs to you, and welcome to the site. How brave of you to come on here and share your pain with the community. I don't have lots of practical advice to give you, but others will be along to help shortly. I would just like to say that the alcohol has imprisoned you in the basement and is doing all it can to keep you in that dark, bleak place, but I promise you, once you stop drinking, you will feel like a new person. One you won't even recognise.
We are here for you.
freckles x

Elodie

Hey Dave! We all started at 2 hours of sobriety. You can end this cycle of misery.

Soberwolf

Really glad to meet you IsolatedGuy & really happy you found us your going to find tons of support here my friend

FreeOwl

You're not alone, and it's not too late.

You can turn all of this, your whole life, around for the better.

You will marvel at the difference a year makes. You will discover with amazement how good life really is.

What is your plan to embrace and relentlessly honor sobriety?

MIRecovery

I would highly recommend seeing a doctor and seeking professional help along with AA.

You can do this

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome to SR, ISOLATEDGUY! I'm glad you found us here. Believe it or not many of us were as bad off but managed to find the way to climb out of addiction. The first step really is deciding you want to make a change. You've done that part, and it's a start.

IOAA2

Hi and welcome to what can be a very good life IF you let it and put muscle into being sober.

Being sober and staying sober is a process with work and changes involved, some we don’t like.

The bottom line is we don’t have the first drink one day at a time in a row, even if we think our A$$ is falling off. This for many requires support, here or at meetings so we don’t fall into the pit of isolation which is extremely dangerous for us.
Believe us that the results will be much appreciated by you and others.

BE WELL

sg1970

No it hasn't. I said the same thing a year ago. With a lot of hard work and AA life is radically different today. You are doing the right thing. Find out what your options are for help and get after it.

zjw

God i remember thinking the same stuff. I figured sooner or later i'd get diagnosed with lung cancer or puke blood just to seal the deal. I also figured i might just get so drunk i'd not wake up the next day and my family would find my pickled booze smelling dead corpse etc...

basicly it seemed hopeless pointless etc...

Somehow some way i found my way out and I really dont know why. To this day I still dont really feel like i'm qualified to be here. IE someone else finding sobriety might have been better then me finding it. But I'm here now by the grace of god.

and well it wasnt hopeless even tho it seemed like it.

If you can get into some AA meetings or keep posting here thats a good start. it doesnt have to be too difficult there is support here and at AA etc... Me? i did it alone the first year. I had no idea there was support out there. I had no idea where aa was nor did I have any interest in going. I did it the hardway that first year and it was the pitts.

Lean on the help thats out there if you can its worth it.

FreeOwl

exactly. Also, what we've already lost is behind us.... The question is; how do we want to spend what's left ahead.

Me, I want it as deep, rich and joyful as possible!

strategery

I'm glad you're here Dave. You acknowledge what is around the corner and life can get better with sobriety. I changed since I was also worried about my health.

Surrender2win

Welcome Dave, I'm glad you found us. We are all in this together. It's not too late for you to turn your life around. One day, one hour, one minute at a time... It does get better. Hugs to you.

biminiblue

I was pretty beaten down by the time I reached out for help. It started with a prayer.

Now I've had continuous sobriety, health, peace, and even some joy here and there.

One day at a time. My goal was to go to bed sober every night. If I did that, my day was a success. Nothing else mattered.

Maybe call your doctor for a few pills to help prevent seizures...

We are here, stay here with us. We get it.

Ruby2

You don't have to continue. I was a heavy daily drinker for years and what you describe with work and the shakes and not being able to perform and depression? Sounds like me. You can stop. Keep your psychiatric appointment for sure but for me, I needed medical help with withdrawal to get me started.

Can you arrange time off and check in to detox? It was a blessed relief to place myself into the caring hands of hospital personnel and let go of the worry. I'd highly recommend it.

I've been where you are. I'm no different. It's not always easy, you just have to do it. Welcome to SR

Sasha4

You deserve better than this life you have now honey.
You deserve to be healthy, happy and have a good relationship with your mum.

I'm 3 years without a drink.
I live a very simple life.
I have a few friends, family, a daughter.

However, I'm not scared like I used to be. I don't have to worry about not shirking my responsibilities. I don't feel guilty that I have let myself down or others down. I'm not dodging anything, I'm not worried I'm in trouble anymore.

Its a simple way to live, but a nice way. A peaceful way.

Get some help.
Work through it and do a day at a time.
A few months of good sleep, healthy food, rest and doing nice things for others can go a long way to making you feel a whole lot better about yourself.

Elizabeth333

your story is my story - I so relate, especially the basement part. I sit here sober next to you. If I can do this - you can!