Readysteady

It's been a good while since I posted, as my brother stayed sober for several months. He relapsed (said he started drinking again about 25 days ago). The last bout was very ugly, as he's also on methadone. He was going through alcoholism AND methadone withdrawal because if he blows positive for alcohol he gets booted from the program. Knowing all that, he relapsed again.

I guess my first question for now is, what do we do? In the past he always had a problem with whatever hospital he went for detox. They didn't provide methadone for him knowing how agoizing withdrawal is. I WANT TO NIP THIS IN THE BUD PRONTO AND GET HIM HELP. Every other time it took way way too long to get him in. I can't believe there isn't a number to call to walk people through these processes and provide more information.

biminiblue

Why are you trying to do this for him?

When the pupil is ready the teacher will appear.

He has to find his own way out.

You deserve peace.

Refiner

Is he willing to "nip this in the bud pronto"? If not, you're wasting your time, I'm afraid.

Readysteady

I hear you, and actually should've been more thorough in my post. He's been mentioning going to the hospital but is afraid they aren't going to give him enough to keep him as comfortable as especially the methadone withdrawal if they aren't going to give him any.
As for him beint ready......his mental state isn't good. Talking to him, it takes 20 minutes to get 1 minutes worth of actual content inna conversation. And I'm extra worried cause the last 3 or 4 relapses they basically told him he'd probably want to get in line for a liver.

CodeJob

Hello Ready Steady,

I read a few of your older posts. This may not sound like it is answering your question, but I suggest you focus on yourself. Have you moved out of your Dad's condo? How close are you to extricating yourself? His behavior towards you - is it still creepy?

Your Dad is enabling your brother. You sound like you are his second in command. Has it done any good? Your brother is addicted to two substances. He has received warnings that his liver is not in good shape and yet continues in addiction. He hasn't managed to maintain any length of sober time from what you report.

He is a complicated detox. His liver is possibly severely damaged. i am not sure they can promise no pain from a detox. but it isn't your job to question the medical treatment, is it? his decisions have now limited what can be done and what is available. He goes forward or not. It is his choice.

hopeful4

I would simply encourage him to go to the hospital of his own choice. Yes, he is going to have withdraw. This is a consequence of his using. There is really nothing you can do about that part. Encourage, don't enable.

BlueChair

there is. number to call, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration provides a helpline for families.

https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/

Your right to want to get him back in ASAP, he is too sick too be rational and what he needs is qualified treatment.

Hope you find something soon.

Readysteady

Thank you! And you're right, he isn't too rational.

Readysteady

True. Thanks!

Readysteady

I thought my reply went through last time. He isn't being creepy now so far this time. I think when he was last time it was due to methadone withdrawal and him drinking alot to try and ease the withdrawals. This time I was trying to get him to taper off so he can breathalize .00 when he returns to his "home" clinic. Ain't gonna happen. He was doing pretty good for a couple of days and yesterday he ramped up his intake. Told him he blew the chance of getting back into his clinic so off to the hospital tomorrow or Monday at the latest.
Yes, dad is the authority of the household. But he wouldn't listen to me on previous relapses.....that after getting sober, my brother needs to go to meetings like mad, counseling, and some kind of activity group that keeps him occupied 3+hrs a day at least 3 days a week. Nope....everytime he got sober, he just dwelled in his room 23/7 which is the worst thing. Told dad if he doesn't listen to me this time I'm leaving him alone to deal with it.
Thank you for your input.

Readysteady

Well where do I begin.
Took him to the hospital a cpl of weeks ago. Can't remember exactly when, I'm so beside myself. After only 3 days out of the hospital I saw an orange juice bottle hidden like he always did. Tonight when I came home, he really had an attitude and I found a vodka bottle. I am at my jumping off point. So done with wondering what I'm gonna come home to. Told my Dad its all on him now.....he didn't want to listen to me so let him deal with the ****. I'm tired of it.

alterity

"he is too sick too be rational and what he needs is qualified treatment."

This is what we are facing as the family of someone literally psychotic and stuck in a revolving mental hospital-streets-jail door. Sending prayers to everyone who loves an addict so far gone.

Readysteady

And likewise, thoughts and prayers to you and all as well.
While he hasn't been to jail, he's relaped countless times. I'm shocked and at the same time not, that he did again and so soon after just getting out of the hospital. Our father is the authority figure in the household and kept dropping the ball. For years I've been saying "we have to talk, about getting him into treatment". If not a rehab, then intense outpatient counseling, make meetings his life, and join some kind of club or group that does activities to get him out of the house a few hours a day and get him integrated with good, sober people. Nope......he gets out, and whether it's months or in this case, a few days after getting out, he's left to his self and relapses.