back again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 183
back again
I had 4 months of sobriety in 2010...then almost 11 months last year. I've gone through a lot of difficult life events in the first part of this year, which really for a while there, I didn't think I could stand the pain of. Divorce (not due to the drinking), having to move, and live on my own again. I have a serious illness. Very serious. Though I work full time at a demanding job.
Today is day one again. And my last day one. I would say, I "hope" it's the last, but I don't want to give myself an out. I can't do this anymore. I've never been an AA person, but I'm willing to give anything a try at this point. And maybe that's the mindset that will make this time permanent. I'm just so done. I look forward to reconnecting, and spending a lot of time on here learning and dealing with this head on, instead of trying to act like a normie. I'm just not.
Today is day one again. And my last day one. I would say, I "hope" it's the last, but I don't want to give myself an out. I can't do this anymore. I've never been an AA person, but I'm willing to give anything a try at this point. And maybe that's the mindset that will make this time permanent. I'm just so done. I look forward to reconnecting, and spending a lot of time on here learning and dealing with this head on, instead of trying to act like a normie. I'm just not.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Congrats on making a day 1 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rituality.html
You can do this if you do it for you SillyString
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rituality.html
You can do this if you do it for you SillyString
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Welcome, SillyString! It sounds like you know what you need to do ... the same thing I found out the hard way: to do whatever it takes to stay sober and get that demon off my back. We're here to help when you need support, a listening ear or what have you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Glad you are back Silly.
I have gone through some life changing things in the past 2 years.
I have also been through some serious health issues too.
Sometimes I feel like I have very little left.
I feel like someone has whipped my security blanket from me and I won't ever get it back.
However...........through out of it, I have not drank.
Sometimes I think its because if I do have a drink, I won't be able to stop.
Other times I know, from experience, it does not make things any better or easier to cope with.
Sometimes I say to myself, if things feel this bad still by tomorrow, I will have a drink if I want one, but I won't drink today.
Then I try to distract myself on keep busy.
I can hand on heart say that there has never been a tomorrow where I have felt so bad still that I have had a drink.
Drink or no drink, I will still remain lonely, unemployed and feeling depressed.
I also personally believe that when I look over some of the rubbish times I have had, I should be proud of myself.
Partner left - did not drink.
Made redundant - did not drink.
Having housing issues - have not drunk.
Feeling proud of not drinking makes me see myself in a bit of a better life.
People will say, wow you have dealt with a lot, and I think to myself, yes I have and I did it without resorting to numbing myself with booze.
Its nice feeling proud of yourself.
It makes me feel that whatever life throws at me, I can cope, however unpleasant it is at the time.
I wish you the best xx
I have gone through some life changing things in the past 2 years.
I have also been through some serious health issues too.
Sometimes I feel like I have very little left.
I feel like someone has whipped my security blanket from me and I won't ever get it back.
However...........through out of it, I have not drank.
Sometimes I think its because if I do have a drink, I won't be able to stop.
Other times I know, from experience, it does not make things any better or easier to cope with.
Sometimes I say to myself, if things feel this bad still by tomorrow, I will have a drink if I want one, but I won't drink today.
Then I try to distract myself on keep busy.
I can hand on heart say that there has never been a tomorrow where I have felt so bad still that I have had a drink.
Drink or no drink, I will still remain lonely, unemployed and feeling depressed.
I also personally believe that when I look over some of the rubbish times I have had, I should be proud of myself.
Partner left - did not drink.
Made redundant - did not drink.
Having housing issues - have not drunk.
Feeling proud of not drinking makes me see myself in a bit of a better life.
People will say, wow you have dealt with a lot, and I think to myself, yes I have and I did it without resorting to numbing myself with booze.
Its nice feeling proud of yourself.
It makes me feel that whatever life throws at me, I can cope, however unpleasant it is at the time.
I wish you the best xx
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