View Poll Results: If you could meet people on the forum in person, would you do it?
Absolutely not
6
7.89%
Just the mods Anna and Dee
3
3.95%
Yes, but only a chosen few
40
52.63%
Hell yeah, let's have a big ole party with everyone!
22
28.95%
This is a dumb poll
5
6.58%
Voters: 76. You may not vote on this poll
If you could, would you want to meet f2f with people here?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Yes, and I have already done that once so far. I would do it if I feel a real connection beyond sobriety and have gotten to know the person over time. My one f2f so far was great and another one is in the works.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
I would absolutely love to, but in a get-together type thing. Any internet stuff, one-on-one wierds me out a bit. Don't like the blind date aspect of it.
I was just thinking about this in fact yesterday, realizing also that as far as anonymity goes... I'm pretty sure I'm the least anonymous person here. Or one of them. It's not too tough to find a whole bunch of info, pix, video, etc. on me, if one cared to. You'd have to be only slightly creative in your search
. I've noticed most here are very VERY anonymous. Which I completely get, and sometimes wish I were.
I've often wondered what people look like, and have formed ideas in my head that I'm certain are waaaaaaaaay off. It's always interesting for me to put a face to a personality. Considered starting a thread asking people to post pictures of themselves (which could still actually be anonymous), but I get a sense that wouldn't go over all too well.
Closest I ever came to meeting anyone here was jdooner. Had he hung around a little longer I'm sure I would have. Even though it would have been 1 on 1. I miss that dude.
I was just thinking about this in fact yesterday, realizing also that as far as anonymity goes... I'm pretty sure I'm the least anonymous person here. Or one of them. It's not too tough to find a whole bunch of info, pix, video, etc. on me, if one cared to. You'd have to be only slightly creative in your search
. I've noticed most here are very VERY anonymous. Which I completely get, and sometimes wish I were.I've often wondered what people look like, and have formed ideas in my head that I'm certain are waaaaaaaaay off. It's always interesting for me to put a face to a personality. Considered starting a thread asking people to post pictures of themselves (which could still actually be anonymous), but I get a sense that wouldn't go over all too well.
Closest I ever came to meeting anyone here was jdooner. Had he hung around a little longer I'm sure I would have. Even though it would have been 1 on 1. I miss that dude.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
Not unless medicated LoL. I can barely handle the handful of people I talk to in life now; new ones would just funk me up ..'
Dennis
My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.
Dennis
My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
I didn't answer the survey because I couldn't choose between "select few" and " big ol' party." And, of course, our cherished Anna and Dee, who give so much of themselves to this place.
The former: There are people I've come to genuinely like and care about. I occasionally find myself wishing that the benefits of this site -- the chance to share confidences about the hard things in our lives -- didn't, by its very nature, mean we are brought together with people from far away. I wouldn't rule out meeting some of the dear souls of this place IRL if the opportunity presented itself. Many a time, I've wished I had a big magic wand to teleport myself to a coffee shop with some of the folks here. It would also be nice to be there IRL when life hurts; the empathy that grows out of shared circumstances -- aging parents comes to mind -- makes me wish I could do more to be supportive.
The latter: It's hard not daydream of having that big magic wand bring us together for a global sober bash. Not sure how many noticed in the "Forum Help and Troubleshooting," in a question about SR's origins, it turns out that SR will celebrate 15 years of helping people on Sept. 15 of this year. Oh, a magic wand!
In real life, I have met three SRers. In two cases, job-related travel brought one to the city where I live and brought me to the city where the other lives. Both, by sheer coincidence, within 10 days of each other a year ago this month. How lovely it was! In both instances, we're in contact outside of our SR world and I hope our paths cross again someday. They're such nice people. Great conversations, loads of laughs and a chance to talk F2F about our alcoholism and the renewal of our lives in recovery. These much-appreciated meetings reinforce my faith in the people here, that we're likely just what we seem online and that we enrich one another's lives. I remain so grateful for those get-togethers. It's because of them that I would not preclude the possibility of meeting other friends from SR.
But a caveat. I mentioned I've met three people. Most, perhaps all, of us limped into SR as broken people. The extent of the damage to the third person -- one in the city where I live who became a friend IRL, reaching out to meet me very soon after I joined SR -- wasn't visible. Though I'd hasten to add nothing "bad" happened if "bad" is defined as criminal, sexual or financial, the relationship harmed me, a betrayal that haunts me to this day. (I wrote about it not long ago in a different SR forum.) I understand this is a rather vague cautionary tale for others to consider; I've left out most of the details here and in the other forum both out of a desire not to revisit them any further and out of respect for SR's rules about discussing others. I've repaired the damage to the extent I can but what happened is a reality. Be careful: The brokenness of others may run deeper than we realize and wash into our lives.
And, of course, we're human and therefore curious. JoeNerv, if you want to know what I look like, flash back to the mid-90s. Take Hillary and Tipper and morph them into one person. That's pretty much what I look like, circa 2015, with shorter hair now. And still blonde, thanks to my stylist.
The former: There are people I've come to genuinely like and care about. I occasionally find myself wishing that the benefits of this site -- the chance to share confidences about the hard things in our lives -- didn't, by its very nature, mean we are brought together with people from far away. I wouldn't rule out meeting some of the dear souls of this place IRL if the opportunity presented itself. Many a time, I've wished I had a big magic wand to teleport myself to a coffee shop with some of the folks here. It would also be nice to be there IRL when life hurts; the empathy that grows out of shared circumstances -- aging parents comes to mind -- makes me wish I could do more to be supportive.
The latter: It's hard not daydream of having that big magic wand bring us together for a global sober bash. Not sure how many noticed in the "Forum Help and Troubleshooting," in a question about SR's origins, it turns out that SR will celebrate 15 years of helping people on Sept. 15 of this year. Oh, a magic wand!
In real life, I have met three SRers. In two cases, job-related travel brought one to the city where I live and brought me to the city where the other lives. Both, by sheer coincidence, within 10 days of each other a year ago this month. How lovely it was! In both instances, we're in contact outside of our SR world and I hope our paths cross again someday. They're such nice people. Great conversations, loads of laughs and a chance to talk F2F about our alcoholism and the renewal of our lives in recovery. These much-appreciated meetings reinforce my faith in the people here, that we're likely just what we seem online and that we enrich one another's lives. I remain so grateful for those get-togethers. It's because of them that I would not preclude the possibility of meeting other friends from SR.
But a caveat. I mentioned I've met three people. Most, perhaps all, of us limped into SR as broken people. The extent of the damage to the third person -- one in the city where I live who became a friend IRL, reaching out to meet me very soon after I joined SR -- wasn't visible. Though I'd hasten to add nothing "bad" happened if "bad" is defined as criminal, sexual or financial, the relationship harmed me, a betrayal that haunts me to this day. (I wrote about it not long ago in a different SR forum.) I understand this is a rather vague cautionary tale for others to consider; I've left out most of the details here and in the other forum both out of a desire not to revisit them any further and out of respect for SR's rules about discussing others. I've repaired the damage to the extent I can but what happened is a reality. Be careful: The brokenness of others may run deeper than we realize and wash into our lives.
And, of course, we're human and therefore curious. JoeNerv, if you want to know what I look like, flash back to the mid-90s. Take Hillary and Tipper and morph them into one person. That's pretty much what I look like, circa 2015, with shorter hair now. And still blonde, thanks to my stylist.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Sure, why not? Can't hurt anyone, assuming you meet at a public place for coffee / something to eat. My only caveat is I'd prefer to meet people one-on-one versus a group setting. Just easier to get to know someone, and more comfortable in a 1-on-1 setting.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
In the right circumstances, sure. I doubt I'd meet for a big ol' party I'm awkward at big old parties. But if there were people who lived nearby, I'd certainly consider meeting up with them for coffee. I prefer small, intimate gatherings to the big ol' parties.
I'm awkward at big old parties. But if there were people who lived nearby, I'd certainly consider meeting up with them for coffee. I prefer small, intimate gatherings to the big ol' parties.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 418
Originally Posted by Purpleknight 
I probably would!!
You can all come over to mine and I'll put the kettle on, I bought this Irish sheep tea cozy and have been saving it for special occasions!!
You can all come over to mine and I'll put the kettle on, I bought this Irish sheep tea cozy and have been saving it for special occasions!!
At the very least put you in hospital...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Originally Posted by Purpleknight
I probably would!!
You can all come over to mine and I'll put the kettle on, I bought this Irish sheep tea cozy and have been saving it for special occasions!!
You can all come over to mine and I'll put the kettle on, I bought this Irish sheep tea cozy and have been saving it for special occasions!!
Kidding. Hope to visit your lovely country someday, though.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I think Venecia's idea about a 15 year SR birthday party would be interesting. We could wear name badges with our SR screen names to make it easier
Btw, Joe, I think ArtFriend had a thread once where she was trying to guess and describe what members looked like.
Btw, Joe, I think ArtFriend had a thread once where she was trying to guess and describe what members looked like.
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