Scared1234

I can't quit and I think I've just about giving up spending all day and night thinking/fighting/stressing about my binge drinking. I'm going to just not think about it. If I drink I drink. If I don't drink today, well whatever, I'll probably drink tomorrow. It's not like my will power will ever do anything so screw it! It's easier to just not f****** care and do whatever you want. Getting drunk feels too good still and I am still willing to fight the hangovers the next day..

Sorry to everyone here...you are all too good for me. I honestly don't deserve to be on a site like this. <3 to you all!

Saskia

Sorry to hear that, Scared! I know just how hard it can be and for me, sheer willpower didn't come close to being enough. Besides the great folks here on SR, I also had about four other resources to get me beyond drinking. Now heading toward one year sober, I can truly say that all the effort and putting my life on hold was definitely worthwhile.

I hope you'll reconsider very soon and avail yourself of whatever you need. With enough support, it doesn't need to be continuous white-knuckling. Best of luck to you!

RogerD

Hi,

I still have daily urges. On day 20 right now. They've become slightly less but they're still there. It does get better, but it also takes time. In the first week I thought I was going insane. That's how much my mind was racing. And I remember thinking i don't think anyone's ever been committed to a mental ward for trying not to drink. Might I be the first? That actually got me through the next few days. I actually laughed a little at the ridiculousness of the situation but it got me through and that was the most important thing

Soberwolf

First off yes you can i understand your finding it impossible right now i think we have all been there but

instead of starting 'i cant quit'

How about

I want to quit and im struggling right now

Your a part of this community your in the right place start checking in each day & speak of your cravings & learn from us to build defence for cravings

Stick around and stop thinking you cant do this you can & were here to help each other

Stick around

Anna

I hope you do decide to stop drinking. We're here for you if you do.

Fly N Buy

If I relied on will power I'd be drunk everyday.........

There are those on here I read that indeed somehow, someway find the will power. That's not my story.

Mine is of surrender, seeking help outside SR and being honest with myself.
I was fortunate to get past the point of still liking the high too much. Mainly because of the low, the valley that was inevitable. I had to get to that point for sure....

Have you ever checked out any meetings? Maybe consider or reconsider.
At least consider this - Alcoholics die from alcoholism daily. Sometimes with the help of others we can find a daily reprieve.

I had to be willing to go to any lengths after many attempts..........It's a process to become ready. Some die while getting there unfortunately.

Sober Wolf suggested sticking around. Good idea~~ You are helping others when you post from the heart about your struggles.
Thanks - congratulations on hitting 100 posts......See if you can make it 200 - I'd love to read each one

Nonsensical

Last November you wrote:
You want that inner voice telling you to drink to go away?

Starve it.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

jryan19982

The easy way isnt always the way. Its ok that you feel that way. Im sure everyone here has had that feeling or are feeling that exact same way. Its how you deal with it that counts. I hope you take the hard way and make it the way.

dwtbd

The deep pleasure of intoxication isn't mysterious, it's the problem. I realized , after trying for years to have it both ways, that is either one way or another, no real middle ground. When I was drunk I would do whatever, anything, to stay in that place, keep that experience going, even deepen it if I could. Take off all the brakes and not give a flying crap about anything else. Insane , right? I knew on some level what doing that would cost me in mind body spirit , but in that mindset I didn't really care. So I pretty much had two choices indulge as much and when I wanted and screw all else, or realize that was precisely what I was doing and stop altogether, I couldn't be a drunk and have the opportunity to be a better person, a better version of myself, it was one OR the other. We all have choices. Make sure you pick the one you really want. Either way you do have to choose, I hope you choose the way to a better self.

MIRecovery

I love to drink. Always have, always will. The problem is the consequences of my drinking and the really bad news is the consequences only get worse.

The is a way out but you have to really want it

Tippingpoint

Only you can quit, none of us can do it for you.

So, I wish you all the peace and good luck in the world. I hope you stay safe and are able to safely find your bottom...

Hevyn

Scared, We're always going to be around when you need us. Please never give up on a better life for yourself.

Dee74

Some awesome advice here Scared

I used to say I like the high too but that wasn't really what kept me from quitting...I was deathly scared of change.

I would come to hate my life, and think about change...I'd take a few tentative steps and then get so scared, I'd decide my life was tolerable after all and scuttle back.

One year grew into 20, Scared.

You're here for a reason - don't back away from that.

I don't know how to tell someone not to be scared, but there's a ton of support here - you're not alone.

Why not post regularly - join the Class of June support thread even?

The longer you put this off the harder it's going to get.

I promise you, the fear of change is much worse than the change itself

D

Soberween

Hope this doesn't come across as too preachy, but keep in mind that you battling a deadly disease. It is always progressing. If you continue to binge drink something catastrophic is more than capable of occurring. Willpower alone will not keep you from drinking. You need to add something to your sober plan that will keep you occupied and not sitting and thinking about drinking and not drinking.

ScottFromWI

For me the tipping point was when drinking was no longer something I wanted to do, but rather something I needed to do just to keep from having heart palpitations and panic attacks. You can wait until it's too late or start now, completely your choice.

doggonecarl

Sure it's easy. It's easier to drink than do what it takes to stay quit...in the beginning.

It gets easier, the urges quiet. But I don't think you've been sober long enough to know that it does get easier. So don't give up now.

2muchpain

I don't know what else to add to the previous posts, but it does get easier the longer you stay sober. Drinking is an early death. For me, drinking is a reason to block out life. And what is so important about life to block it out. Take a look around you. Really take a good look. Is it really losing it for a drink? John

Scared1234

Ok Ok! I will promise to stick around and post. I will take all of your guys advice to heart and keep fighting. I just feel more and more embarrassed/not worthy of being here when I continuously post that Ive relapsed again.

least

Sooner or later the 'high' won't feel so 'high' and you'll be drinking just to survive. It won't be fun anymore. Not to mention, every time you binge, you run the risk of something really bad happening. I hope you can get sober before that happens.

greens

Just don't drink right now. You dont have to worry about tomorrow or the next day.