Need to make it work
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 259
Need to make it work
Hello,
I posted a couple months ago but had repeated failures. Every time I had one things escalated for days after. I have basically ruined my life in every way. Sitting in trears on day 2. I am a mom and my family does not deserve this. Have crashed straight into the bottom and have no idea how to put the pieces together. Can not keep fooling myself that 1 or 2 will ever work. Just ordered the big book, called meeting with a Dr and requesting a therapist tomorrow.
Thanks for listening. I am so broken. Need people who understand and don't just hate me.
Lilly
I posted a couple months ago but had repeated failures. Every time I had one things escalated for days after. I have basically ruined my life in every way. Sitting in trears on day 2. I am a mom and my family does not deserve this. Have crashed straight into the bottom and have no idea how to put the pieces together. Can not keep fooling myself that 1 or 2 will ever work. Just ordered the big book, called meeting with a Dr and requesting a therapist tomorrow.
Thanks for listening. I am so broken. Need people who understand and don't just hate me.
Lilly
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back lilly. All is not lost...you are here and taking the right steps. Seeing a doctor and a therapist is a fantastic move, kudos for taking the initiative to do that. You could join a weekly/monthly thread here too if you like, it's always nice to be in a group of people in the same situation as you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
hi LL, we do understand and no one hates you. As you said yourself, you are broken. The good news is that broken things can be fixed or healed. You are no different. It won't be easy, nothing worthwhile ever is. But don't lose faith in the people here or yourself. Keep trying, I'll say it again, just keep trying. I wish you the very best. Keep us posted, even in rough times. It may help.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Welcome back Lilly.
Sounds like some positive steps you've made there. Other good books are Sober Recovery and Monkey on My Shoulder (also AA publications - available from Amazon in digital or paper formats).
Are you going to try going to some AA meetings as well ?- It sure sounds like you could do with the understanding and fellowship you'd find there.
Sending prayers and hope for sobriety and recovery for you xx
Sounds like some positive steps you've made there. Other good books are Sober Recovery and Monkey on My Shoulder (also AA publications - available from Amazon in digital or paper formats).
Are you going to try going to some AA meetings as well ?- It sure sounds like you could do with the understanding and fellowship you'd find there.
Sending prayers and hope for sobriety and recovery for you xx
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 60
Hi lily - day four for me after my first ever hospital stay because of alcohol. Sometimes it takes hitting bottom to get back up. I am also a mom so I relate to how you're feeling. Keep your head up - I believe in you and we can do this together.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Welcome back Lilly, I have 31 days today, and SR has been a big part of it. I am a mom too, and I think we have a tendency to be hard on ourselves. Thankfully there are no haters on here, only support.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 581
Congrats on day 4, you are doing an amazing job. It is hard to face things once sober... some of the things you see, were the things that alcohol was used to hide from, so it is still there. I know for me, ultimately drinking never helped. I am on day 11, and the memories of the self-loathing, depression and anxiety brought on by drinking are still fresh and a huge motivator.
I am now actually dealing with things, confronting issues and life is actually getting better!
I am now actually dealing with things, confronting issues and life is actually getting better!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 259
Thanks for your replys! I had such a nice day planned and everything went wrong. My middle school son became angry at the family and yelled at me that I have been out of it or crabby for the past year. I want to crawl in a hole! I know some will say let it be motivation to change, but a nice day would have been much more helpful and motivational. Sitting and crying right now and realize it will be such a long, hard journey to regain trust and respect. Part of my path to wino mom status was the extreme pain and frustration of parenting. That and about 10 other reasons some of which more causal in fact. None of that matters now since I cannot look for reasons or excuses but must focus on true change. My Dad was such an alcoholic and I would not have said the things my kids have said to me to him. I deserve it. Thank you so much for letting me vent. I truely feel I am understood on this board and that makes a difference!!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
