Hello Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 398
Hello Again
Thank goodness our membership here doesn't expire when we've been inactive too long! I'd forgotten a lot that I'd learned from here but reading my old posts and your responses has helped tremendously.
I am not doing much better than I was when I originally joined SR. I'm very stubborn that way. A little over 2 years ago, the kids and I moved out and into a home of our own. But I allowed AH to keep contacting me....and contacting he did! Of course, I allowed it. I know that. I didn't like it but I did allow it. Re-reading your responses has reminded me that No Contact is the only option for me!
We lived separately for 14 months, then we reconciled- last July. I lived in blissful denial for a couple of months. You all can guess the rest of the story- he still used, I caught him and moved out. Only this time it was different, he became violent threatened suicide. He's threatened that before but he hasn't been this violent before. All I kept thinking was, "I hope he just slams me into the wall instead of punching me in the face." He's never done either; he's never physically hurt me; but he was that rageful. I was sure it was coming. Instead, he took his gun and left. I got a protective order.
My children and I are now in a new home and my therapist says there's no joy in my eyes and that I look exhausted. Sometimes it seems like this nightmare is never going to end. But, I'm a fighter. Even when I feel completely drained, I'll fight for this madness to stop.
Our final hearing for our divorce is coming up soon. Please pray that my children are protected through the court's final order.
It's good to be back.
I am not doing much better than I was when I originally joined SR. I'm very stubborn that way. A little over 2 years ago, the kids and I moved out and into a home of our own. But I allowed AH to keep contacting me....and contacting he did! Of course, I allowed it. I know that. I didn't like it but I did allow it. Re-reading your responses has reminded me that No Contact is the only option for me!
We lived separately for 14 months, then we reconciled- last July. I lived in blissful denial for a couple of months. You all can guess the rest of the story- he still used, I caught him and moved out. Only this time it was different, he became violent threatened suicide. He's threatened that before but he hasn't been this violent before. All I kept thinking was, "I hope he just slams me into the wall instead of punching me in the face." He's never done either; he's never physically hurt me; but he was that rageful. I was sure it was coming. Instead, he took his gun and left. I got a protective order.
My children and I are now in a new home and my therapist says there's no joy in my eyes and that I look exhausted. Sometimes it seems like this nightmare is never going to end. But, I'm a fighter. Even when I feel completely drained, I'll fight for this madness to stop.
Our final hearing for our divorce is coming up soon. Please pray that my children are protected through the court's final order.
It's good to be back.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Stoughton, MA
Posts: 44
I am so glad they don't expire either, I have recently come back after three years away, with a new guy and a similar problem. I am rereading my posts as well. Ugh....
In reading your post, I think you still sound strong. That under all the pain and anguish, there is a strong woman who knows what is best for herself and her children. You had some good time under your belt and you gave in and tried again, nothing wrong with that. Now you definitely know it will never change no matter how many times you leave or for how long. Make a stable and happy home for your children. Stay safe. Learn how to be happy again. Find the joy in life and it will show in your eyes. It may take some time but hey, all we have is time, right?!
I hope the courts order does protect your children. That should always be their first priority but the court doesn't always get it right, hopefully for you they will.
Best of luck. Keep posting. Stay active here. Stay strong. (((Hugs)))
In reading your post, I think you still sound strong. That under all the pain and anguish, there is a strong woman who knows what is best for herself and her children. You had some good time under your belt and you gave in and tried again, nothing wrong with that. Now you definitely know it will never change no matter how many times you leave or for how long. Make a stable and happy home for your children. Stay safe. Learn how to be happy again. Find the joy in life and it will show in your eyes. It may take some time but hey, all we have is time, right?!
I hope the courts order does protect your children. That should always be their first priority but the court doesn't always get it right, hopefully for you they will.
Best of luck. Keep posting. Stay active here. Stay strong. (((Hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 276
I too am in the process of getting a divorce from my exAH. He is also verbally abusive & has a horrible, horrible temper. I spend a lot of my day mentally wrestling with myself just to make it through work, to do the laundry, to be cheerful & playful with the baby until he falls asleep.
And then I sit here on Facebook and SR, trying desperately not to PM the first person I see & tell them exactly how exhausted & full of sorrow I am.
It's not that there is no good or joy in my life.
It's just that I thought I would be sharing it all with exAH, with him as an active, attentive, loving participant.
Bg hugs, lady. You are doing the right thing, but it is unbelievably hard.
And then I sit here on Facebook and SR, trying desperately not to PM the first person I see & tell them exactly how exhausted & full of sorrow I am.
It's not that there is no good or joy in my life.
It's just that I thought I would be sharing it all with exAH, with him as an active, attentive, loving participant.
Bg hugs, lady. You are doing the right thing, but it is unbelievably hard.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 54
in almost every case i've read on this site, the hardest thing & the right thing are the same. sending hugs. I know how hard it is. I'm on the verge of a divorce hearing with an unstable man as well, and it is just so emotionally draining & hard on the heart. lots of hugs and peace your way!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
Instead, he took his gun and left
that's a very scary statement, but very much sums it all up at the same time. cuz sometimes the story doesn't HAVE a happy ending, and sometimes we give them one too many "chances" and sometimes they have passed the point of no return and are now a viable threat.
wishing you peace and safety and serenity now.
that's a very scary statement, but very much sums it all up at the same time. cuz sometimes the story doesn't HAVE a happy ending, and sometimes we give them one too many "chances" and sometimes they have passed the point of no return and are now a viable threat.
wishing you peace and safety and serenity now.
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