feren

Stressful work as a town planner. Go home. Most friends married. Last gf broke up with me because of my drinking. Not much to do in my town socially after work. So feel lonely. Then fall off the wagon again..The usual 1 drink to relax crap. Then feel even worse at work the next day and underperforming/who cares attitude. House is getting a dump now. Chatting to a lady I like online we get on but it's normally my drunk self. I can't even remember the next morning what I said and am meant to be seeing her in real life (sober) in two weeks. I have seen a doc who said I was fine..but I think my memory (long term) is totally ******. Short term will follow. Managed to **** of all my fam this year including missing my half bro's wedding cos I was hungover. I'm not typing for sympathy typing just gets it off my chest. I have read some posts here and they do help. I'm not the kind of person to want to go to AA. Good luck everyone!

Soberwolf

Have you tried secular Smart or Lifering ?

When i was ready to get sober id do anything to make it happen friend

Berrybean

I don't think people start going to AA because they 'want' to (that comes later when they realise how much better they feel for it and start to enjoy the fellowship of others who can share their experience; strength and hope with them). I think most AAers started going because they realised that their lives had become unmanageable and they wanted to stop the vicious cycle that was making them miserable; anxious; resentful; and stopping them have sincere and fulfilling relationships.
What have you got to lose by giving it a go? You've nothing better to do in the evenings by the sound of it and at least that'd be one night you didn't drink.

Seriously though, there are more ways than AA, which I'm sure people will fill you in on. I just think it's easy to have preconceived ideas about what AA is like. I can honestly say it's changed my life, and I've met loads of lovely people there. I couldn't have done this without AA.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

PurpleKnight

The cycle can be broken, it just takes a few tweaks and a plan, doing something new in our routine to make it happen.

You can do this!!

Anna

There are a lot of options other than AA if you're looking for recovery.

greens

Welcome feren!

breath

I need to say that I agree with BeccyBean in that we can't have preconceived ideas about anything we have yet to experience in our life; we are cheating ourselves out of life and possibilities, experiences and opportunities. AA included.

I did that, and it cost me an extended stay in addiction.

There's a concensus among SR Fellowship that AA is not for everyone, and there are options; there's also a concensus that to eliminate some opportunity not tried is to cheat ourselves of opportunity.

Humility.

Welcome to SR

Dee74

Things don't have to be like this Feren - not if you don't want them to be.

I hope you'll come back and post again

D

Delilah1

Welcome, SR is a great start to help you with sobriety, and there are lots of other options besides AA. Good luck.:-)

feren

Thanks for the replies guys. It was drunken ranting but therein lies the problem. I probably should try A.A after work but am worried that the second A wouldn't be so as I work for the council in my town. I also need to forget trying to build a relationship with a woman atm and focus on myself/ rebuilding family ties. I think my main problem is that I am impulsive and have an addictive personality..Even as a kid I would always spend all my money on sweets whilst my bro saved his. Oh lol

Dee74

There are online meetings feren - but I daresay some other council workers are in face to face meetings tho?

D

feren

I didn't know that Dee, thanks I will look into that...Yes possibly! Haha. I think my main problem is that when drinking I think more creatively etc..Then forget about it so pointless. Then hate work cos it seems so anal and bureacratic. But I know it's because my brain is kind of out of sync due to drinking. Day 1 again!
.

CaseyW

Welcome to SR, feren. There is a ton of great wisdom and support to be found here.

I highly suggest joining and regularly contributing to the Class of June 2015 thread found on this same forum. It's a great way to get help from and also support others who are in early recovery.

Berrybean

Being a council worker shouldn't put you off. At my home group there are teachers; a surgeon; nurses; care workers; office workers; pensioners; small-business owners; large business-owners; shop workers; wedding organisers; and (at least one) escort / masseur. Some are regular church goers. Others really dislike organised religion.

Personally, I (as a teacher) made the decision to tell my boss - mostly so I didn't have the stress of worrying about her finding out (which I now think would be extremely unlikely, but it was a worry for me at first). She was massively supportive. I suppose she'd rather have an on-the-wagon alcoholic employee, than a drinking alcoholic employee eh!! Lol. It's funny how I (like a lot of people) was prepared to let worries about being found out for going to AA stop me going, but never let fear about drunken exploits put me off getting smashed and
talking and acting like an idiot.

Hope you're sober and happier today.

feren

Thanks for that. Both my parents were teachers so I know how stressful that can be too so congrats on getting your life back on track. Will give it a go. I have a meal out tommorow with workmates which I'm dreading as they will be drinking and I hope I don't start getting the shakes! But I need to test myself

feren

And yes I think I thought I had a more creative mind when drunk but really that was just because I was drunk! Rolls eyes

JensDestiny

Why do you feel the need to "test yourself" so early in sobriety? It was probably at least 6 months before I dared to allow myself around ANYONE who was drinking. I know myself all too well and a "test" would have simply been an excuse to give in and ask forgiveness later. If this is a work thing, I completely understand. However, it seems like a social work event if there will be drinking involved.

feren

I understand what you are saying, but our department is so stressed atm that it's more of a morale/ bonding type thing. Should be ok it's not like some kind of pss up. Plus they do delicious mango coolies 😊

Berrybean

I don't understand why you need to 'test' yourself either. Test yourself for what??

I don't think I'd have minded the meal part (even in early sobriety), but I wouldn't have wanted to hang around for long after. Esp if the others were drinking alcohol. I still tend to go out early (while everyone sober) and make my excuses early to be honest. The drunken 'banter' is generally quite tedious now - and nowhere near as witty as I remembered it being when I was drunk myself. Never mind - now I get a night out AND a night in with a take-away on the same weekend evening. Sorted

feren

But thankyou for your kind words.